The breaking of an American mother's heart...and her apologies

This op-ed is from one of my favorite Marine Corps Moms - Lori Holman. She's a moderator over at Marine Moms Online and her words are always worth reading.

I'm not here to discuss whether or not we should be in Iraq - it's been covered ad nauseum, and really quite beside the point right now. I'm here to comment on the people who are doing the fighting for America, and how they are often perceived here at home.

I'm writing to you because I'm absolutely incensed. I'm shaking so hard I can barely type. But I owe some people an apology...and here's why:

A customer standing in front of me in the convenience store this morning was chatting with the clerk. As I waited to pay for my soda, I heard the clerk say something about Iraq. Being the mother of two Marines who served in Iraq, my ears immediately tuned in just in time to hear the customer say "Marines!" He made a disgusted noise and continued, "Of course they're guilty! Why should we bother wasting our tax money on a trial for any of those murderers? They've been killing babies since Vietnam. They need to fry them right now and just disband the Marines! They're violent - Neanderthals dressed up in uniforms. If they were intelligent, they'd be in college, or have real jobs - not out slaughtering innocent people for fun. The whole military is full of nothing but animals. They're occupiers, fighting an illegal war, anyway."

It is here that I must say to you all, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't handle it better.

I'm sorry, frankly, that I didn't punch the son of a bitch. That would have been more natural. After all, my sons are "Neanderthals in uniform". They must get it from me.

I spend part of my time in a virtual world with other Marine Moms and Dads. We are bound together by the Red and Gold colors of the United States Marine Corps. Our own red stands for the heartblood of mothers of warriors, and the shining gold exemplifies our sons and daughters' selfless service to an entire nation. We have an eclectic yet tightly-knit community. We are Conservative and Liberal, from both blue states and red; we don't always see eye to eye on things political and spiritual. Yet always, our bond of love, pride and gratitude for our loved ones and what they sacrifice is strong and unshakeable. I owe this remarkable group that I love so much my second apology. I let you all down. I'm sure you guys & gals would have been better at handling the situation than I was.

I know two certain Gunnery Sergeants who helped guide my sons into the Corps. To me, they are the epitomy of truly outstanding Marines. They've always been kind to me even when I might not have deserved it, took time to help when others might have been impatient. They know that I'm often too emotional. But they also know that I'm truly honored to be a peripheral part of this great Marine Corps Family. So to you, dear Gunnys D and H - my third apology; for letting you down, not "sucking it up and carrying on". I know you would have handled it much more smoothly.

It's to my sons, and all the Marines Past, Present and Future that I owe my fourth apology. I'm sorry, Marines. I know you could have taken the whole situation in stride. You would have turned to your training and been able to ignore the whole tirade. You probably would have even laughed yourselves sick at that man's sheer gall.

But it was in that line at the store that I uttered my first apology. It was directed to the man who stood in front of me, carelessly speaking against my sons and all the Marines I hold so dearly in my heart.The apology was also directed to the rest of the Americans who do not believe in the heroes that have given everything they have to give for the country and people they love so much.

"I'm sorry." "What?" he said. I repeated "I'm sorry". He looked at me with a puzzled expression. I shook my head as I said, "I'm sorry you feel the way you do about Marines. I have two Marine sons." His expression began to turn into...what, I'm still not sure, but it looked too closely like the start of a contemptuous sneer for my liking. My voice started to shake. "It doesn't even occur to you does it, that our Marines have done nothing wrong - they just do their job. You think they're guilty of murder just because they're MARINES." His mouth started to move, but I put up my hand and stopped him before he could talk. "I don't know why you said what you just said, or why you feel the way you do - but I know one thing. My sons and every Marine I personally know has more intelligence, honor, courage and decency than you'll develop over your whole miserable, unimportant life." By this time I am ashamed to say, I've totally lost my bearing. Tears are pouring down my face. I said thickly, "There's more worth inside the sorriest Marine than there is in the man standing in front of me right now." He started to say something, but again I interrupted. "Your level of sheer ignorance about the Marine Corps make me sad. The fact that better men than you could ever be, have died so you could stand here and talk about them is even sadder. But the saddest thing about you is...you're not even smart enough to know just how right I am. I'm so, so sorry for you."

There was absolute silence in that store. I know everyone was staring at me like I'd just grown three heads and wings. Hell, maybe I had. I rubbed my eyes and turned to what I hoped was the door, blinded by tears of frustration and pent-up rage. Like the coward a Marine is not, I fled to my car. I ended up leaving without the damned soda I came to buy. I don't even know if I set it down, or it ended up on the store's floor in a huge mess. So I failed not just the people who expect me to behave better than that man in the store, I failed to even accomplish the tiny mission I set out on. This whole morning just sucked. Good Lord.

Maybe it's human nature to believe in guilt before examination, rather than innocence - maybe it's too easy for some to think the worst of people they don't even know. Personally, I find it easier to think the best of someone before I think the worst. Our Dogs of War have given everything for the sheep they love so much. And what do some give them in return? Betrayal. Betrayal from the media who hide behind them in order to keep the right to speak out against them. Betrayal from many of the American people who seem to believe that when the military trains for war, they lose their humanity. That somehow, known terrorists get a pass for deliberate slaughter of innocents, but certain young & heroic Americans are branded guilty before they are tried in courts of law - found guilty by a public who won't show even a shadow of thankfulness for the freedoms these same men afford us all. Hell, sadly enough they are often condemned by politicians who seize the chance to denigrate them...all to further their own agendas and careers.

What's happened to our society that our bravest young men and women are branded as animals - and yet terrorists get sympathy? Have you people lost your minds? Our warriors deserve our trust and confidence. They've earned it. Don't think so? That's your right, I know. It's also my right to think you are drowning in bull.

Our sons and daughters, our fellow Americans who serve do their jobs voluntarily. They are not forced or coerced to do so. We could not keep the free society we have if it were not for men and women who selflessly make the choice to serve. But now we could be facing a problem seldom seen in this country - a possible lack of willingness to put oneself on the line. Not by the idea that certain wars might be just or unjust. But by the perception among the ranks that when push comes to shove, they will be hung out to dry for political gain by their own leaders. Or worse, that they might be judged by their fellow Americans to be unworthy of thanks and support, no matter what they face, or where they fight.

I've decided I can learn a thing or three from people like that man, perhaps in a way I never would have envisioned when I first fell apart in that tiny Stop-n-Rob 'Em. First, I can usually count on people who are least worthy of our freedoms to be the most careless when applying them. Second, it's not a good idea for me to leave my house at 0630 with no coffee beforehand. And third...I'm never going to understand some people and their embrace of ignorance and hatred, no matter how long I live. It is my fervent wish never to do so.

Carry on, America. Whatever you decide about wars and those who fight them, you're still safe and comfy here at home to make those decisions. You aren't out there facing what these troops have faced. And you presume to know enough to condemn them for what you cannot possibly imagine? I'd say you should be ashamed, but I wonder if some people even are capable of feeling that emotion anymore. Meanwhile, some of the best and brightest of America are defending you so you won't have to do it yourselves. Why? Some days, I really don't know the answer. And then I realize that they are all heroes simply because they do it - whether we deserve it or not. And this is our reward to them?

To the man I met in the store this morning - I hope someday you fully know the shadow you've cast on your own soul. May God forgive you. I don't know that I can so quickly as He.

And to our troops - thank you all for having our backs. I'm truly sorry so many Americans have stabbed you in yours.

Lori Holman

"In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free." - Edward Gibbon

Posted by Deb at 04:52 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

December 26, 2006

Operation Heart to Heart: Remembering our Troops with Valentines

Applebee's Restaurant in Salem, OR and the Marine Corps Family Foundation invite you to dinner December 27, 2006, 4 p.m. - 10 p.m.

10% of all dinner purchases will be donated to Operation "Heart to Heart." Bring your family & friends to join in the fun and support our troops. So please join us for dinner at Applebee's on Lancaster Drive in Salem.

Win a $50.00 Gift Certificate to Applebee's Restaurant with the purchase of a raffle ticket.

For additional information or to volunteer, contact or call:

Betsy James
Betsy5721@yahoo.com or call
503-339-2862

Posted by Deb at 04:30 PM | Comments (416) | TrackBack

December 20, 2006

The Spirit of Christmas

Christmas should be a happy time, filled with love and laughter. Sometimes, it doesn't quite work out that way. A Marine family is hurting. You can help. John at Castle Argghhh! and Matt at Blackfive have posted the following e-mail - please send along a holiday card with a small contribution to help make a difference for this family. I know the family and I know the folks who are behind this effort - hearts of gold all around.

Life's been tough for a Marine Corps family lately, including the loss of a dear family member. Every year for the past three years they have lost a loved one between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This family has been an active support group for Marines for years - inviting troops into their home, participating in Operation Santa and other troop support projects, etc. Many of you who regularly read military blogs and discussion forums are familiar with this family.

We want to protect their privacy, but it's not right that such good people who have given so much to our country should not be feeling the joy and love of the Christmas season. So let's show this family the Christmas spirit! Please send them a Christmas card.

Mail your cards or notes to:

SBS
970 W Valley Parkway #223
Escondido, CA 92025

Cards are being handled by well-respected figures in milblog circles who will get them to this family as soon as possible.

Open your heart, and share the love of this Holiday Season with a family that has done so much for all of us!

The address listed is a post office box rented for the specific purpose of collecting holiday greetings for this family. All cards will be sent on to them. Thanks so much for supporting this Marine Family.

Posted by Deb at 03:09 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 12, 2006

Pigs, spiders, and supporting Marines

One of my favorite books is Charlotte's Web - the unlikely friendship between a pig and a spider who saves him from ending up in a frying pan in some suburban kitchen. At one point, Wilbur asks Charlotte, "Why did you do all this for me? I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you."

Charlotte's reply is profound.

""You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. . . .By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heavens knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."

If your life can stand a bit more of that, you're invited to help support Marines who are helping the unfortunate of the world. Regal Cinema at Bridgeport Village in Tigard, OR will celebrate the premiere of Charlotte's Web this Saturday, December 16, 2006. Families are invited to the theater between 1:00-8:00 p.m. for games, a petting zoo, and prizes. MCFF representatives will be on hand from 1:00-3:30 and 6:00-8:00 to highlight troop support activities sponsored by the Marine Corps Family Foundation.

Donations of white socks, handwarmers, and other stocking stuffers may be brought to the theater on Saturday for Operation Santa. Over 17,000 stockings and gifts have been sent to deployed troops in the last two months from this project and we're continuing to mail packages daily. Donations of size L and XL sweatshirts and sweatpants are also needed for Operation Winter Warmer. These will be sent to field hospitals in Iraq and Afghanistan for wounded troops who are airlifted to Landstuhl Germany.

Just as Charlotte helped Wilbur, you can help our deployed troops. For more information, contact Regal Cinema at (503) 968-7575 or Deb Conrad at (541) 974-6948. For more information on the Marine Corps Family Foundation, visit www.marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org .

Marine Corps Family foundation is a 501c3 organization. All donations are tax deductible.

Posted by Deb at 10:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 10, 2006

Making a difference

Photo by Sgt. Adaecus G. Brooks, U.S. Marine Corps

U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Derek Mellor takes a sip of water from his Camelbak during a break in joint patrol with Iraqi army soldiers in Habbaniyah, Iraq, on Nov. 18, 2006. Mellor is a radio operator with Lima Company, 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, Regimental Combat Team 5.

Jim Garamone, AFP, reports from Iraq:

Even with all the debate in the U.S. over Iraq strategy, morale on the ground here is good, the commander of Multinational Force West said today. Marine Maj. Gen. Richard Zilmer said that retention among Marines based in Iraq is more than 140 percent of the goal. "If they didn't think what they were doing was important, then they wouldn't reenlist," he said during an interview. He said the situation in Anbar province is difficult, but progress is being made. "It's going to be slow," Zilmer said. "We will be at this for a long time." The general said he is encouraged by cooperation tribal sheikhs are providing the coalition in the province. Local leaders in and around Ramadi finally had enough of al Qaeda in Iraq violence and intimidation and began cooperating with the U.S. forces in the area. "The sheikhs have a lot of power," Zilmer said. "As soon as they put it out that people should cooperate, we started getting volunteers." The Iraqi police in Anbar are fairly well-manned, but there are problems recruiting soldiers, Zilmer said. Part of that is because police remain local, while soldiers can get assigned anywhere in the country. Another problem is a requirement that Iraqi soldiers know how to read and write. Many men in Anbar province do not have those skills. "Al Qaeda doesn't have that same requirement," Zilmer said. The help the sheikhs provide also means more tips coming in to the Iraqi authorities and more cooperation when forces go to neighborhoods, he said. It has also had an effect on the number of attacks in the city. "We hope this cooperation spreads beyond Ramadi," he said. "Success breeds success." Another bright spot in Anbar is in and around Al Qaim, on the Syrian border. "Last year there were pitched battles in the city," he said. "Now the tribal leaders are cooperating, and the police and army units cooperate with each other and with us." The people of Al Qaim are giving the Iraqi government a chance to establish order, Zilmer said. Despite these successes, the province is a huge area to cover. The addition of a Marine amphibious unit has helped tamp down some of the problems, the general said, but what he really needs are more Iraqi forces. Many of the Marines and soldiers in the region are on their second or third tour, yet their morale is still high. "They come out here and decide they will make a difference," Zilmer said. "And they do. Every day."

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December 09, 2006

At Play

Photo by Tech. Sgt. Dawn M. Price, U.S. Air Force

U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Brock Hutzler stops to play with Iraqi children in Al Hamzah, Iraq, during a joint mission with Polish army soldiers from the Polish Civil Military Cooperation to assess the need for improvements on five water pump stations which generate water for the citizens of Al Hamzah and its surrounding area. Hutzler is from the Illinois Army National Guard.

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December 04, 2006

What makes Marines special

After spending the Thanksgiving weekend in Palm Springs with my son and a few of his friends, including a couple of former Marines, I was reminded how the lessons learned in boot camp remain after years of civilian life. It's not just the courtesy (no one calls me "ma'am" in Oregon) or the wicked sense of humour. No matter how much alcohol these guys consume - remember that the Marine Corps was born in a tavern, and that heritage has been faithfully celebrated for the last 231 years - they can snap to attention and recite any of the 11 general orders when asked. It's not exactly a drinking game, but when one Marine asks another (who left the Corps in 1996) what is his 2nd General Order, the instant response is, "walk my post in a military manner, keeping always on the alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing." Or, expound on history of the Battle of Belleau Woods since they will always consider themselves "Belleau Fellows". I imagine that 50 years from now if these guys get together, the focus of their conversation (as well as their lives) will be the USMC and the good times they had in and after the Corps. There's an intangible bond that will never be broken between Marine brothers and this cameraderie was expressed beautifully by Army Gen. William Thornson who said "There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion."

Pirates of Palm Springs

On Saturday, we visited the Morongo Casino and outlet malls at Cabezon where the guys wore the Pirates of the Caribbean III hats they'd received from a friend who is currently working on that movie. When they found pajama pants printed with skulls & crossbones at the Ralph Lauren outlet store, their day was made. Looking at these two Marines, relaxing in new slippers and pajamas during their holiday weekend, it's hard to believe that six months ago, they were on the other side of the world and dressed a bit differently.

Cpls. Shane Conrad and Mark Richter patrolling the streets of Husaybah

At the top of 10,084 foot Mt. San Jacinto after ascending the Palm Springs Tramway and waiting in line for a wilderness permit behind groups of properly attired hiking groups with boots, packs, maps, and hiking stick , two Marines were told by the park ranger, "First, you do not come into my ranger station with beer. And, you do not wear tennis shoes in the wilderness.". Marine response, "So can we get a permit?" "No!" And walking out of the station, remarking to themselves, "I'd like to see any of those hikers put on a 40 lb. pack and run the trail. That's what we do on base." But, they were polite and good-natured as Marines are.

Cpl Shane Conrad, overlooking the Coachella valley.

And we hiked a few trails that took my breath away (8,000 foot elevation makes a difference) but was an easy stroll for them.

Marines. God Bless them. I can't imagine any group I'd rather spend time with. I know exactly what Eleanor Roosevelt, meant when she said back in 1945, "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"

Posted by Deb at 10:51 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 03, 2006

Baghdad ER needs our help

1st Lt Michelle L Littrel AN, a nurse who tends to our wounded as they come in from the field, sends a request from the battlefield, When troops come in, they often have little more than the clothes they were wearing on the battlefield - and when those are cut off, they are left with whatever is available at the hospital. You can help make a difference in their comfort level by providing wounded troops with sweatshirts and sweatpants to wear in the hospital and en route to Landstuhl. Here's a note from 1st Lt. Littrel:

Good Morning everyone! It is 0430 here in Baghdad (yep, I am a nightshift nurse for now) and pretty chilly considering just a couple months ago the weather was still in the 90-100's! I have a request... many of you wonderful folks out there had told me "let us know what you need". Well, what we need for these colder months is LG/XLG sweatshirts and sweatpants for the wounded soldiers being flown out of here to Germany (especially the sweatshirts). They can be any brand, any color - without logos or emblems. I just want to say how much I truly appreciate your support- you are the light that burns for all of us when ours begins to wane. . .I think that all of the staff and patients here draw strength from your prayers and well-wishes. God Bless, Michelle

The Marine Corps Family Foundation is working with athletic wear makers to make this wish come true. You can help by making a donation. Simply go to www.marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org and hit the PayPal button. When making your donation designate "Operation Winter Wear". Our wounded soldiers and Marines need our help. You can make a difference. Or, contact operationwinterwarmer@marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org for mailing and donation information.

Posted by Deb at 10:25 AM

December 01, 2006

Operation Santa USMC 2006

It's mid-November, not December 1, but this post needs to stay front and center! Our database is finally fixed and Marine Corps Moms is back - this time, hopefully, for a longer run. We are neck deep in Operation Santa USMC 2006 - packing parties are taking place all over the country. If you're involved, send your pictures and we'll put them up. Connie spent last evening at Oregon State University with students who packed and mailed 600 stockings to deployed Marines. I'm leaving tonight for North Bend, OR to help with a weekend long packing party - we hope to send up to 3,000 stockings. More pictures later.

We still have over 3,000 Marines in groups of 50 and up who need to be adopted. If you can help, please e-mail operationsanta@marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org. Tax deductible donations can be sent to:

Marine Corps Family Foundation
4000 Lancaster Ave. Ste. 57
Salem, OR 97309

Or, donate via Paypal here:

You'll not only get a tax deduction, you'll wake up Christmas morning knowing that you helped make the holidays just a bit brighter for our deployed troops.

Posted by Deb at 10:04 AM

Welcome KWJJ listeners!

Thanks to Matt, Mike, and Amy for the on air interview this morning - we still have 1100 empty stockings to fill! Donations can be brought to Regal Cinema at Bridgeport Village in Tigard or Chemeketa Community College (Bldg. 2) at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday. Or, call me at (541) 974-6948 and I'll pick up donations if possible. I'll be in Tigard on Saturday at noon.

Here's what we still need for each stocking:
Handwarmers
White socks
Granola bars
Snack bars
Packaged nuts
Gum
Packaged cookies & crackers
Candies & lifesavers
Hot chocolate & spiced cider mix

Other items that help fill the stockings are:
DVDs & CDs
Beef jerky
Canned meats and tuna
Small packets of Tylenol
Iced tea & Gatorade mix
Paperback book
Hand cream
Thin black stocking caps/balaclavas
Handheld games
Pepperoni sticks
Frisbees
Nerf balls
Fruit snacks
Lightweight knit gloves
Batteries, AAA, AA, 9volt
Toothpaste/brush
Lip balm
Nail clippers
Razor
Disposable camera
Word game book
Pocket stoves & tablet fuel
Writing pads & paper

Donations for postage are appreciated and all donations to the Marine Corps Family Foundation are tax deductible.

Mail checks to :
Marine Corps Family Foundation,
4000 Lancaster Drive- Suite 57,
Salem, OR 97309

or hit the Paypal button at the right. Thanks!

Posted by Deb at 08:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Help our wounded troops

We've had a request to send sweat pants and sweat shirts for wounded troops who have been airlifted to Landstuhl. Often, they arrive with nothing since their belongings are left behind at their base. If you can help by sending size L & XL sweatshirts and sweatpants, email operationwinterwarmer@marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org and we'll provide a mailing address for you. Thanks for supporting our troops!

Posted by Deb at 08:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack