Marine Corps Moms

December 31, 2007

Glühwein and rosy cheeks

On a cold Oregon night, when I put the dog out and she slips right off the ice covered porch, there is only one thing to do. Mix up a batch of Glühwein - my favorite holiday drink when I don't have to drive. And since I don't have to drive anywhere until tomorrow morning, I'm feeling warmer with each sip. Since there's just me tonight, I used the remnants of a bottle of zinfandel, and a Christmas orange that I'd saved for something just like this. Here's the recipe that I usually make for a crowd:

4 bottles of dry red wine, 3-4 cinnamon sticks, 2 small oranges studded with whole cloves and sliced, 1 quart orange juice, 1 quart apple cider, honey to taste, and a couple shots of brandy or perhaps Triple Sec. Keep hot in crockpot, no higher than a simmer, until gone. It won't take long if I'm there.

It doesn't quite compensate for inadvertantly stumbling upon Cassandra's latest caption contest, but I'm not sure anything could. Here's her pic - do stop by VC and add your best shot.

Posted by Deb at 03:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 26, 2007

Heroes

If you need a reminder of why it's a wonderful thing to live in this country and why supporting our military is a privilege that is a benefit and never a burden, take a look at this video sent by one of the proudest Marine Moms that I've had the privilege to know - Kay Gibson from the wonderful Houston Marine Moms group.

She explained via email: "There's a band here in Spring, Texas that wrote this awesome song called "Heroes." I heard it and put some pictures to the song. They said it was okay if I used their song, in fact they play my slideshow when they sing it."

Thanks, Kay, for sharing this video, and your son will be in my prayers until he's home again.

Posted by Deb at 12:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 02, 2007

Shifting the paradigm

Mary Ellen Salzano, Marine Mom and tireless advocate for our troops sent this call for action:

Do you know that over 2 million men and women have been through the Global War on Terror efforts in the past five years? Do you know that the one third of all the documented male adult homeless are veterans? and the numbers for women has not been documented. Read this again...as this is how we treat those who have given so much...This statistic itself should shock you. Did you know that for the first two and a half years of the war, the wounded were not counted nor were their injuries documented? Because of this, these men and women do not have any way of knowing their benefits, as well as the programs and resources that are available to them. Do you realize the average ages of our wounded is between 18 and 22? as well as the fact over fifty percent of the Marines at this age are single? These two facts mean multi layered consequences. First, the brain is not fully formed to make long term life altering decisions and also that the expense and challenges of caring for the wounded service member will ultimately fall to the parents...many who are aging... Were you aware that only one percent of the American population knows of, or has someone in the military? These small numbers mean that most people have no idea what it means to have a loved one in the military for eight years of their lives. There are several differences between the Viet Nam War and the war being waged today. The first being that medical battlefield technology has dramatically increased the number of men and women that are surviving and the injuries are much more traumatic. It is now common for men and women to have two or three losses of limbs or other body parts. This war has men and women not decompressing between deployments as it increases their likelihood of injury or death when they return back to the hotspot. This keeps them hypersensitive, as well as being detrimental to their relationships. The impacts and effects of this war are also much more far reaching then ever expected. The legal, financial and spiritual components have not been addressed the way they are needed, and so we have many women, and men, that are being forced into untenable positions... When the Department of Defense chose to open the Military Severely Injured Center, it was tendiing to all branches of the service. About a year ago, the Army Wounded Warrior program pulled all its files...and started its own program within a two day period. The case managers/workers that had a bond with our wounded, were now replaced with people who had very little training. The computer programs between the VA and the DOD have never spoken to each other, and many of our wounded , although having been in VA facilities, still have not been told of their benefits. The "news" at Walter Reed was not news, and our familes have testified for five years before Congress as to ways to help stop the disconnects....again falling on deaf ears. We do not need more governmental committees and commissions we need people who are ready and willing to take action and do the work needed.... The families of our wounded., even if there is a Fisher House available, many times are unable to stay there....and the expense to the family to be with their loved in can run into the thousands for a two week period. Families of the wounded are financially broken, and we are not supporting families to stay together....The divorce rate is phenomenal....90% of the wounded will be divorced within a year...leaving them more vulnerable then ever. Mothers and fathers and siblings are not being supported and our wounded are sent home to live with them...Their families are fractured... There are very few chaplains available to walk as spiritual companions with families and veterans. There are no long term casualty assistance programs nor are there any family support partner programs created. At Moffett Airfield, there have been three attemtped suicide attempts in six months... The VA is not allowed to ask for funds for and depends on community support to bring the issues to light. The VA has been underfunded and understaffed for years...We want to be able to ask for shut down military installations to be reconverted into community housing for our wounded families.. At Palo Alto, after a wounded service member is released from a one to two year program, they are left with little or no contact from the hospital staff and left to fend in a new community on their own....This is traumatizing and plans and programs, as well as land and facilities are needed for a transitional program and housing to slowly acclimate our wounded back into community and family life. The number of men and women ...and here I will not use the correct wording so I beg forgiveness...I have the general idea... The trained therapists...that know of what happens in combat operations is so very small, yet the need for skilled people to tend to the invisible wounds is huge. The therapist may have one chance to see the wounded or a family member and if they have no knowledge of what the client is speaking of, there is a high probability the s/m will never return. Training the therapists is crucial. Law Enforcement programs are needed to help police and sheriff departments understand the issues surrounding our returning vets....How PTSD and TBI do the ugly dance...and that many of our vets will not wear seat belts, will not respond quickly and efficiently to commands....and how we must start discussing this before tragedy occurs. Respite care for caregivers. is a huge need...Money management and legal guidance is also desperately needed.... A dear friend whose husband was severely wounded in Iraq has had ten case workers in three years, and she as well as her family suffer secondary PTSD. They need skilled people to come to them....she has no time to go to the therapist...because she is constantly running to doctors or school appointments. We need people that would be willing to help find or create steady, sustainable levels of funding for community run programs....not government run programs. Our veterans are coming back into community not into government and the resources, programs and information is not and has not gotten to them.... They have been trained since boot camp not to ask for anything....and so they do not until the need is overwhelming or they never ask, and commit suicide....slowly or quickly. We need people that would be willing to help financially, as for many, social security and veterans benefits may not start working for a year. How does someone survive with no money coming in? Employers do not want to hire someone with combat experience... We need to truly understand what TBI and PTSD mean to individuals, families, communities, states and our nation. We will have seven generations to see this play out...and we are woefully unprepared to companion and walk alongside of those who have given so much. We need programs that are created by women for women...veterans only....We have no idea what impacts will be when the women start returning to their families. Remember, they have seen, felt, smelled, heard unimaginable things....how will these traumas affect raising a family and relationships? Again...programs for women veterans, on campuses for women only....due to the high volume of sexual abuses in the military. We also need to have non traditional forms of healing....I have a woman vet who wants to build a sweat lodge from the bottom up...We need sacred land.... Talk of sexuality is not being addreesed for our wounded....We need to lift this voice...Drinking is so accepted by our culture, yet our wounded should not be drinking or self medicating. How do we turn this around in our culture...as it is so socially acceptable to drink and self medicate? Each time our heroes are celebrated, alcohol is served....The spouses, family members, do not know how to handle this.... Pain medications...the numbers and intensities have shifted. Getting the resources to small communities...the small town doctors have never seen the types nor dosages of medications required for pain management. I know of one vet who has undergone 54 operations in two years. Bottom line for a lot of this is....our veterans do not know the right questions to ask, nor know the right words to use, nor know if they have gotten the correct answer....as they have been trained not to ask....for anything...and the system, the bureaucracy is so large, there is little compassion or continuum of treatment and levels of care needed. The people in the system may have compassion, the system itself does not so our veterans lose hope.....We need trained advocates and ombudsmans and community programs available 365/24/7....internet, face to face, by phone...using all forms of media. We need to shift the paradigm and realize we are no longer tending just our service member...but also their family.

Posted by Deb at 01:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 17, 2007

Semper Fi, Adam . . .

Jennifer is the sister of Adam who will deploy this week in support of OIF3. She wrote this tribute on her MySpace page, but their mom, Cindy, gave permission to share it here. It's an awesome tribute to the bond between siblings, and the pride that goes with being the sister of a U.S. Marine.

The day that I have been dreading is soon approaching. October XX, 2007 will register as one of the Worst Days Of My Life. That's the day that my little brother, my best friend, my hero, will board a plane and land in Iraq. He will be gone for about eight months, and will return to the US in June 2008. He is doing his job, fulfilling the oath he took in July of 2006, "to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, forgien and domestic; that I will bear true faith and alleigance to the same; that I will obey the Orders of the President of the United States and the orders of my officers appointed above me, according to the regulations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." So, I guess this is where I get all cheesy and sentimental. This is where I get all teary-eyed for you. Adam is my best friend. I could not survive without him. He has been my rock for as long as I can remember, and I hope that I have done the same for him. Growing up, we went through a teenager's form of hell. Our parents got divorced when I was 19 and he was 14. Very tough and touchy times for anybody that age. But, we were the lucky ones. It wasn't a bitter divorce, nor was it messy. Our parents remain pretty close still today. That being said, it brought Adam and I closer, however, not until he was about 18 or 19, and I was approaching 24 . . . 25. We're best friends, and I can always count on him to be there for anything. Whether it be something major, or something petty. He's my best friend, and I hope I am that to him. I went through HELL while he was in MCRD for boot camp. I had no contact with him!! I remember he called home once, he was rewarded a 20 minute phone call home . . . and he called me. It was the first time I'd heard his voice in about three months . . . I bawled my eyes out after he had to get off the phone. I remember flying to California for his graduation. A friend of mine, who had been in the Marines also, sent me a text message that I recieved just as the plane touched down, it said, "remember those who came before your brother and I. Remember the traditions and the honor. Say a thank-you." I had tears everywhere when I was getting off of the plane. I remember sneaking to the Parade Deck the day before his EGA ceremony. Watching them practice. I picked him out of his platoon, and he heard me trying to get his attention. I knew very well he couldn't break his stance, but I could see how red his face was turning because I was EMBARASSING HIM in front of his platoon and his DI's. I remember the next day, my family and I walked to the Parade Deck, and hearing the band begin to play. I remember seeing all of the platoons march out. I remember counting the rows of Plt 3047, to look for the seventh row, last guy in the line . . . . THAT was MY brother. I remember the speech that was given. How they would transform from Recruit to Marine by one single action. I remember watching all of the pomp and circumstance as these men were being presented with their EGA pins that they would proudly display on their covers. I remember watching my brother. He was looking directly at his Drill Instructor. He shook his hand, and was given his EGA pin. He took his cover off and pinned the EGA to it, he was so proud, as were our parents. I looked at him, and he had tears streaming down his face. That was HIS defining moment. That's where HE BECAME a Marine, a Man, a defender of YOUR Freedom. I remember that it was announced that the band was going to play the Marine Corps Hymn for THEM, because they had now, finally, earned that Title of Marine, and NOBODY could take that away from them. All of the men stood at POA, and saluted the colors as they all fought back tears while that hymn was playing. Most of them didn't hide the fact that they were crying. They had been through Hell, and they had for DAMNED sure EARNED their titles. The next day was graduation. They marched out onto the parade deck, standing taller than ever, because THEY were MARINES. They executed their movements with such precision and perfection. They had been working on this for weeks, and their hard work showed. It was haunting . . . dead silence, then you'd hear the haunting cadence calls of the DI's. You would hear one DI call out the orders, and you would hear the marching. The tight and taut marching of 300 men, sounding like one. Their movements were perfect. They were putting on a show. They were given the order to salute the colors, it was one fluid movement, one sound. They stood at attention, and all of their feet snapped to position, and hands behind their back...one motion, one sound. It was like nothing you'd ever seen before. They would "Lean Back and Strut . . . " How precise they were. How perfect these Marines were. When they were dismissed, it was awesome. They started with one platoon, and it was so quick, like a domino effect. They would spin around so fast and break their perfect lines after they were given the order they had been waiting so long to hear, "Dismissed!". No words can describe how incredibly proud I am of you, Adam. Now, you're off to do another part of your job, and it will require sacrifices. Stay safe, keep your sense of humor, and know that you have your family and friends here at home that love you very much. We think about you EVERY SINGLE DAY, and pray for your safe return home in June. You make me proud every day, Adam. Every time I see the picture I have of you in your Blues, every time I see a USMC flag, or run into a vet, or another Marine. I always think of you. I proudly wear my little yellow ribbon for you every single day. Semper Fidelis, Little Bro . . . Love Ya, -Sis

Posted by Deb at 03:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 21, 2007

If mothers ruled the world

Dr. Helen has an interesting post up today at Pajamas Media titled "If Moms Ran the World" in response to Sally Field's rant at the Emmy Awards earlier this week. Here's a snippet:

Sally Field and her ilk don't really mean they want just any mom or woman to run the world, what she really meant when she talked about moms taking over is that leftist women should run the world. Notice that the women who are always talking about how great and different things would be if women were in charge never mention real women leaders like Condi Rice or Margaret Thatcher because they are conservatives. Unlike some leftist women who think that their sex puts them beyond the human traits of aggressiveness and violence, Rice and Thatcher understand that the realities of national security mean that negotiation and "making nice" with the schoolyard bully does not always work.

I left a preliminary comment, but am expanding it here. I am a real Marine Mom, unlike Fields who plays a military mom on TV, and my son did three tours in Iraq. After dealing with war protestors back home, many of whom took it upon themselves to "educate" me on why war was always wrong and why my son joined only because he had no other options (so wrong), I can tell you that it is a very good thing that the mothers of our troops (and not the ones that play them on TV) do not get to pick and choose who their sons protect and defend.

If this country were invaded by a foreign power, those who carry peace signs and sing 60's protest songs would be the first ones squawking for protection from the military they had spent their lives denigrating. At a recent rally where the pro-troops signs were on the north side of the street, facing the anti war signs, I was talking with a reporter when a small group saw the microphone and started screaming anti-war slogans. I smiled and let them finish and the reporter asked if it bothered me. I told her that one of things my son was fighting to protect and defend was their right to stand on a public street and make asshats of themselves. It gave me an opportunity to provide a nice little sound bite to the reporter, pointing out that their right to dissent was a freedom bought and paid for with the blood, sweat, and lives of brave men and women over the past 230 years who looked at this country and decided that there were certain things worth fighting for. The reporter turned the microphone off and the dissenters didn't get a chance to rebut. Too bad. I usually don't get that polemic but hey. They interrupted.

Recently, I attended an event in order to promote troop support activities. I had to park several blocks away and had my chair, table, display board, bag with flyers and information, etc - no problem - once you've been a single mom, you've learned to balance any load. A guy walked up and asked if my opinion on the war and I said I was pro-troops. He sneered and said that he would have helped me carry my stuff if I'd been smarter. I told him that the troops, including my son, had been supporting his freedom to dissent and I didn't expect to be treated any better from him than he treated the troops. A couple of people waiting to cross the street laughed at him and helped me carry my stuff. He wasn't amused.

I've also been recruited by Code Pinksters. That group has really taken the fun out of wearing shades of rose. It's a funny thing about these folks who say they support the troops but not their mission. I've personally invited them to prove it by helping with our troop support projects. I've never seen one show up yet. But there are always lots of moms and dads who love and support their sons and daughters who wear the uniforms of this country's armed forces. Military parents who planned for college, not boot camp. But when their child made the decision to protect and serve, they proudly - and loudly - applauded the extraordinary courage that it takes to serve this country during a time of war.

Would there be wars if mothers ruled the world? Of course - not everything can be solved over milk and cookies. I was vehemently anti-spanking, but when my toddler ran out in the street, I got his attention with a swift swat. He never did that again. Try that on a global scale with someone like Saddam and you realize that sometimes, the most efficient way to make things better is to go in and clean house. How many lives have been saved because of strong men like my son, and Connie's son, and Mary Helen's son, and Kendra's son, and Molly's daughter, and Linda's son, and on and on and on - these Marines and soldiers and sailors who put their own self-interests on hold to serve. These young men and women are the real heroes of this country . . . . and their deeds aren't scripted but authentic. And I don't think that Hollywood will ever understand that.

Posted by Deb at 11:28 AM | Comments (2)

September 17, 2007

Godspeed MWSS 473

Marine Mom Becky, KV for her son's unit and denmother to most of the Marines at Camp Pendleton (I think most of them have been to her place for dinner during the past five years) sent this picture of her son taken at Bangor by the Maine Troop greeters. These wonderful people show up whenever a plane loaded with troops hits the tarmac. They provide cell phones, refreshments, hugs, and a last hug or first welcome back to weary troops.

Becky described her son's parting words:

He was confident, raring to go, ready to get on with his mission. I told him to keep his head down and he said "Mom, how the hell can I see the enemy that way!?" Silly Marine.

Godspeed Son, hurry home.

Becky is one of our Operation Santa volunteers, making sure that our Marines and other troops feel some love from home during the holidays.

Posted by Deb at 11:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 15, 2007

My Brother - The Marine

Years ago, I looked at pictures of a friend's adorable toddlers and wondered what they would do with their lives. That question was answered recently when I received the following essay, written by the older brother. Toddlers grow up and some grow up to be Marines.

Never have I ever been more proud of a man as I am today of my brother, The Marine. As an older brother who finished high school and moved on to a college education and a division one athletic program I thought I was setting the perfect example for my younger brother. Little did I know that what I was doing was taking an easy route compared to what my brother was willing to do for this country. Growing up, constant harassment was part of being an older brother, but nothing was more important to me than protecting my little brother. Growing up I was his protector. Now he is mine.

Before leaving for basic training numerous times I fell to my knees in tears and prayed begging the Holy Spirit to protect my brother in his service. For the first time I felt like I could not protect him. He seemed too young to be serving our country and to weak to be protecting me. I could not have been more wrong. After he left for basic training I struggled once again, wondering what would become of this brother of mine and what it was that he was trying to accomplish. The day I received his first letter all my uncertainties were put aside; he was becoming a man. His voice and vocabulary was expressed at the highest level of maturity and articulation. This once younger brother of mine, who I once shared a bunk bed with as a child, was training to become a protector of me and my country. I continued to receive letters. It was inevitable that he would change, but never in my mind could I ever imagine the young man I grew up with transforming like this. The wording and way he talked about his experience and feelings were amazing. Honor, Courage, and Commitment, the Marine Corp values were coming out in his personality.

Upon his graduation from basic training I had an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. What would he look like? What would he act like? Would he be the same person? The morning of their motivational run I stood in the parking lot adjacent to the parade deck waiting for the answers to my questions. As a shallow roar from the end of the base came into hearing range a chill went throughout my whole body. As the recruits of India Company ran toward us, I could not believe the amount of discipline and attention to detail they had established in such a short time. As the first two platoons passed before me and my family, platoon 3203 came upon us. There stood a man in the fourth row of his platoon. He stood straighter, taller, and with the utmost confidence. Nothing could break his attention. This man was my brother. The brother I thought I could protect for the rest of my life. To make sure nothing would ever happen to him. But my life was now in his hands. As he stood at attention, I could not have felt safer in my own country. These were our future protectors and they were well prepared for anything. These men were about to become the greatest of military professionals in the United States of America; they were becoming Marines.

As the men of India Company moved on with their four mile run that day, my brother became the hero of my life. Before I had strived to become his hero, but that day and forever more he will be mine. Everything I will ever do since that day will been put in perspective: What really is important? Whatever I pursue in my life is directly attributed to the military professionals of this country. My brother is fighting so that I can get married to the woman I love. He is fighting so that I can go to college. He is fighting so that I can attend church and pursue faith in the God I choose.

I could never imagine the responsibility that my brother is about to take on for this great nation. He has put all fear and doubt aside and gone forth as a man to protect our country and there is nothing more respectable than that in a man or woman. At only eighteen years of age, it seems outrageous to send a life of that delicacy into a life of battle but that is exactly what the Marines are fighting for; freedom and the delicacy of life. My brother has become the ultimate protector and I could not be more proud of the man he has become today. Once again he is leaving for more training and I do not know the next time I will see him. But at the same time I feel safer knowing that there are men like my brother, who are all over the world ready to protect me, my family, and my country.

Semper Fidelis.

Posted by Deb at 12:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 23, 2007

Operation Santa USMC 2007

Yes, it's July. It's not too early, though, to start thinking about Christmas for our troops who will be deployed over the holidays. In the past 3 years, we've sent around 35,000 filled Christmas stockings to Marines, Soldiers, and other troops who are deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. This year, our goal is 25,000 and we'll make it with the help of volunteers like you.

The photo above is from 2004 when we started Operation Santa with the idea of sending 42 stocking for Marines in my son's platoon. It grew with the help of some amazing people throughout the country and we sent 6,000 stockings that first year. 1/7 deploys again in August, along with thousands of other Marines. We'll make their Christmas merrier this year too - as well as quite a few Army and National Guard units who are also deployed.

For more information on how you can become involved in this years effort, check out our Operation Santa page. We need you to make this happen.

Posted by Deb at 01:55 PM | Comments (1)

April 02, 2007

I Am The Mean One

Deb has a friend who handled herself with dignity and grace when confronting an idiot in a store earlier this year. That would be a different friend, not me. Mind you, I can be a really nice person. I like kittens and puppies, and babies. As long as no one messes with any of my pets or babies, I am the girl next door. Start up with my kids, or with the children of friends, and it's sort of like the story of the lady or the tiger. Only, in my version, there's only one choice behind those doors, and it's not the lady.

This past weekend, #1 went on his first FTX - field training exercise - with the other ROTC kids. I dropped him off on Friday afternoon. Sunday, I went to Ann Arbor to pick him up. However, he'd gotten on the wrong helicopter and so was a couple of hours late. Not a problem, I found a nice Barnes and Noble. I bought a book, found a place to get a good latte, and went to read in my car, since I was afraid the cell phone wouldn't have service inside the coffee shop.

The bookstore is located in a very crowded plaza, and parking spaces are in short supply. So, when I got back in my car and settled in to read, a man parked behind me in the aisle, got out and came up and knocked on the window of my car. I rolled down the window to ask him what he wanted.

He wanted to know if I was going to leave, and I told him that I wasn't. This didn't seem to register, because he asked again if I was leaving. I told him that in fact, I was not, so he needed to go away from my car and find himself a parking space.

This obviously wasn't what he wanted to hear, so he began yelling. He informed me that he wanted that space, and asked me why I wasn't going to leave. I told him that I was staying and that he needed to get away from my car.

"I will not go away! You haven't told me why you aren't going to leave! I want to know right now!"

Hmmm. Where I come from, that would be considered bad manners to shout at a lady like that. Anyway. I told him that #1 was on an FTX and that I was waiting to hear from him so that I could pick up my son on the U of M campus. He wanted to know what FTX was, so I explained that it stood for field training exercise, and that my son was with ROTC.

Still, he didn't leave. "What is he doing again?" he yelled.

I said,"He's on an FTX. The ROTC kids have gone to a training center in northern Michigan to practice in wooded terrain."

This is where it gets ugly.

"Oh," said the guy,"so, they have to be trained to kill babies?"

I was quiet for a minute. I quickly put down my latte, since it was still hot enough to scald, and I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was to toss it in his face. So, I disarmed myself.

"You know," I said,"I can see this going one of three ways. I could simply ignore you, but I have an almost congenital inability to ignore assholes. I could just put my van in reverse and hit your car which you parked behind me. However, my third choice is to get out and come after you. Now, I walk with a cane so I know you can outrun me . But if I catch you, I know I can take you." And I calmly got out of my car and grabbed my cane from my back seat.

The guy started screaming,"You are crazy! You f***ng b*tch, get back in your car! You're nuts! Get away from me! You are f**ing insane!", and I just kept hobbling toward him. I didn't yell, I didn't wave my arms, and I never blinked. Finally, he ran away and jumped in his car, floored it, and nearly hit another car trying to get away from me.

At this point, another man came running across the parking lot and asked what had happened. I told him about the 'killing babies' remark, and this man said,"Why, that SOB!" and took off after him in his car. I most sincerely hope that this did not end well for the first guy.

When I finally picked up #1, I told him that I wasn't going to be on a poster for armed forces recruiting any time soon. I told him my story, and he just grinned. He knows that most of the time, the lady is behind the door. And he tries very hard to avoid the tiger.

Posted by at 07:15 PM | Comments (14)

March 18, 2007

Welcome Corvallis Gazette Times and Albany Democrat Herald readers

One of the joys of rural living is the willingness of local media to support the projects that support our troops.
The Democrat Herald and Gazette Times have been especially supportive - each year when we launch Operation Santa USMC, they have run front-page stories that share our mission - to support our deployed Marines. When Connie and I started this site, we had a connection as Marine Moms. Two years later, our sons who were stationed at the same base but had been on opposite sides of the world for two years, swapping places in the same dusty Iraqi city, met for the first time at the 4th of July picnic in Albany. The Democrat Herald was there to cover that meeting. And today, they're in the Red Horse Coffee Company where I hang out whenever I have the chance - the owner is a former Marine, gotta support the extended family - to explore local blogs. Here's what they have to say:

When Deb Conrad's son, Cpl. Shane Conrad, deployed to Iraq for the first time, the Marine mother struggled to find a way to channel her fear and her curiosity about the situation overseas.

She began searching the Web for news resources about Iraq that she wasn't finding in the local media.

"I wanted 'boots on the ground' stories," the Lebanon woman said.

She discovered military blogs were a great source of information on the kind of stories she was searching for.

"I had my favorites I read almost every day," she said.

So when Shane was deployed a second time, Conrad decided the things she'd learned, not only about Internet resources, but also about surviving the deployment of a son, would make great blog topics themselves. So she launched her own blog called "Marine Corps Moms" (www.marinecorpsmoms.com). The blog became a way to share what she'd learned with large groups of people under similar circumstances.

"Instead of answering e-mails, it was more efficient to put things on a Web site," she said.

The site gave her a feeling of being proactive while her son was serving in Iraq.

"It was a great way for me to cope," she said. "I had a lot of anxiety, a lot of negative emotions."

She worked with local company Salyris Studios to set up the site.

When Conrad began organizing a local branch of "Operation Santa" to gather donations to send holiday gifts to deployed Marines, she used the blog to promote the project.

"It allowed us to have a national presence in a hurry," she said. Because of donations flowing in from across the country, they were able to expand their donation from gifts for 35 Marines to stuffing 6,000 stockings.

At the peak of her son's second and third deployment, when she was blogging several times a day, Conrad said, she had between 5,000 and 10,000 hits a day on her site. While that number has dropped, and the frequency of her posting has also dropped now that her son is home for good, she is still maintaining the blog as a resource for military families.

Her son had limited access to the Internet during his second deployment, but he was occasionally able to read his mother's blog, and he'd call or e-mail her to let her know he was paying attention.

Conrad said she's received a lot of positive responses to her blog, with some military parents calling it a "lifesaver." She still culls the Internet for stories about Iraq, and tries to put stories with more positive content on the site.

"We have a lot of parents reading" the site, she said, and she doesn't want to focus on negative stories, although, "I don't sugar-coat stuff."

She also offers a lot of helpful hints to families facing an upcoming deployment of a son or daughter. Parents are usually prepared to send their children off to college, but few know what to do when those children go to war.

"Doctor Spock doesn't cover that," she joked.

Posted by Deb at 11:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 17, 2007

Fair Winds and Following Seas

First Battalion Seventh Marines formed up to say its last good bye and good luck to First Sergeant Basbas and his family a few weeks ago. First Sergeant Basbas enlisted in the Marine Corps on 30 July 1984 and attended Recruit Training at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego, CA. He served two combat tours in Iraq, and served as the Company First Sergeant for Weapons Company 1/7 during his last tour. Some of the personal awards of First Sergeant Basbas include Navy Commendation Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal, and Combat Action Ribbon.

1st Sgt. Basbas was a terrific liaison for Operation Santa, making sure that the holiday packages that we sent were secured and then passed out to his Marines. When the Marines of 1/7 came home, he lectured them each time they set out on post-deployment leave. "I know you're going to drink. Don't get caught. And don't get married. Every time you guys go on leave, someone gets married. Don't do it." And by the last time they came back, he was resigned. "I know you guys are gonna go get married. I'm telling you not to do it. And when you do it, I'll say I told you so."

The Marines of 1/7 will miss him. Oohrah, 1st Sgt, and many good wishes for the next phase of your life..

Posted by Deb at 12:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 14, 2007

Things NOT to say to a deployed spouse or parent

Carrie sent along this link to Rebekah Sanderlin's thoughts on the ten worst things you can say to a military wife whose husband is deployed. Cassandra at Villainous Company is adding her thoughts - do check it out - but parents of deployed troops have their own take on thoughtless remarks made by people who speak before reflecting.

Obviously, there are differences between military spouses and military parents. Either life has its challenges. However, parents are drafted - there's nothing in any guide to raising children that addresses the day you send your precious son off to war. Both parents and spouses need support. Unfortunately, well meaning and otherwise intelligent people make this type of observation all too often. Here, side by side is Rebekah's list and my own markedly similar list that I've kept in my head during my son's three deployments.

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Rebekah's list of the worst things you can say to a woman whose husband is deployed	Deb's list of the worst things you can say to a parent whose son or daughter is deployed
"Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?" This one ranks in at number one on my "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds - but thanks, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)	"Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?" Yes, thank you so much for mentioning it, asshat. It's a constant unrelenting fear for any parent with a child deployed in a war zone. My heart skipped a beat every time there was a knock at the door and I checked the driveway to make sure there wasn't a car with government plates in the spot where my son used to park . The first time I heard this question, I was sitting in a dentist chair and the dentist was making conversation. We rescheduled the procedure - it's hard to examine a patient with tears running down her face. The dentist felt terrible and he should have - it was an idiotic question.
"I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it." Though this is really annoying, I feel bad about mentioning it because I know that it is intended to be a compliment. Still, it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked/told to take on a challenging job and we rose to the challenge.)	"Why did you let him join?" What makes you think I could stop him? Our adult children choose to be Marines. It may not be our choice for our child, but they are grown up and capable of making up their own mind about their future. All we can do is support them. And, there is a certain perverse thrill, when that same friend who just admitted that she didn't think she could cope as a military parent realizes that her son aspires to be a shift manager at Burger King, while my son is rebuilding a nation and rescuing innocents from tyranny. Plus, he gets to drive big machines and blow things up - things near and dear to every young man's heart.
"At least he's not in Iraq." This is the number one most annoying comment for my friends whose husbands are in Afghanistan. As one friend put it, "What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? A huge game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there, too."	"He's in Iraq? I'm sorry." This comment, while meant to be helpful, was infuriating. My son was doing exactly what he wanted to do. This faux sympathy, however well meant, denigrated his firm belief that he was making a difference. The first few times I heard this, I pasted on a smile and thanked them. After that, I asked them, "Sorry for what?" It gave me an opportunity to explain that my son was making a positive difference in the world, to show them pictures of him with the Iraqi Army soldiers that he was tasked with training, and playing with children who dreamed of growing up in a world free from strife.
"Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?" Don't you watch the news? No. They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.	"Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/wedding/family reunion, etc?" This isn't summer camp. He doesn't get to come home until his deployment is over. When my son was in Iraq during Christmas 2004, it was the first time he'd ever been away. Christmas was a major celebration in our family and it was very difficult. I spent that holiday with my parents and brother's family - and prayed that I'd get through it with my composure intact. The first thing my dad asked me on Christmas morning was "Do you realize this is the first time Shane hasn't been here?" Yes, I did realize that - in fact it's all what I'd been thinking about and why I hadn't slept the last night. Of course, I didn't say that - he wasn't trying to hurt me and he was dealing with his own emotions. So I went in the bathroom, cried, splashed cold water, and came back out with my game face on. I can usually keep my composure. Major holidays are different. I did get through the day, but every time someone commented on how much they missed Shane, I went back in the bathroom, cried, splashed cold water, and came back out with my game face on. Marine Moms are like that. And that night, when he was able to get a call out to me, it was the best gift I'd ever had, apart from the day he was born.
"What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored.	"What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" I have a full time job, plus I keep checking CNN and FOX News for updates, read the milblogs, check my Google news alerts, check in with my online support groups, stand in line every day at the Post Office with packages and letters, and help support other parents with this web site. Oh, and find other parents who are just as worried about their kids as I am, and work with them to support our deployed troops. In the past three years, with the help of other milbloggers and some amazing folks all over the country, Connie Riecke and I have coordinated the mailing of 5 tons of school supplies to kids in Iraq, sent over 35,000 filled Christmas stockings plus several tons of holiday gifts and food to troops deployed over Christmas, and a number of other projects. Did I mention that we both work full time? We don't have a problem staying busy. Trust me on that.
"How much longer does he have until he can get out?" This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because (gasp!) they love what they do.	"How much longer does he have until he can get out?" The Marine Corps is not an institution that my son was trying to escape from. In fact, he extended his enlistment so that he would not have to return early from his third deployment.
"This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." Sure, we do learn coping skills. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets easy and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.	"This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." Just how do you get used to sending your son off to war? Again, it's not like summer camp. There are bombs, bullets, and some very bad people who are bent on killing. My son, and others like him, are the barrier that keeps them from coming here and trying to kill us. It's not exactly conducive to easy sleeping. We learn coping skills. We never get used to it.
"My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through." This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a one-year deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious trip length difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for comparing a combat deployment to a business trip.	"My son/daughter left for college last week. I totally know what you're going through." If you want to walk away with your ego intact, do not say this to a parent whose child has just deployed. Your child isn't checking for IEDs while driving to parties off campus. There are no snipers taking aim from the 4th floor of the admin building. He gets to come home for weekends and holidays. He has a dorm room instead of a poncho liner and fighting hole. He can call out for pizza. He can sleep in or skip a class. He has choices. Do not make this comparison. Ever.
"Don't you miss him?" Like number one, this one gets a big "duh" from me. Of course we miss our husbands. If we didn't, we'd get divorced.	"Don't you miss him?" Echoing Rebekah's "duh". We live for 2 minute phone calls and brief e-mails that read, "Hey mom, I'm alive." We sleep with our cell phones in hand. My students knew that if my son called during class that they were on break until he was done talking, whether it was 2 minutes or 20.
"Where is that?" I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for six and a half years and at war in Iraq for four years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day - and on maps everywhere. You've had time to learn it. Do your part by at least knowing what is going on	"Where is that?" If you don't know by know, you seriously need a cluebat upside your head. And I'll volunteer to swing it.

Posted by Deb at 08:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 27, 2007

+3

+3 is not a good thing, at least not in this case. #1 and I went to drop off his paperwork and have his photo taken yesterday. He was looking forward to scheduling his physical and ASVAB. However, we had a nasty surprise. He is 3 lbs. overweight. We got a nice pep talk but got sent home. Sgt. A was the one to talk to #1 about this, and although it was a disappointment, I came away from this even more impressed by the Corps and how they look after each other, and that includes recruits.

I came in a few minutes after #1, so I missed the weigh-in. However, when I walked in, I got to hear Sgt. A talking with my son. He told him that as eager as they all were to get him tested and finish up his application, he didn't want to send him to a physical only to be turned down. What he said was,"I feel so bad for telling you this, but I'd rather tell you straight up. I just don't even want to think about sending you to the doc and then watching you go through the heartbreak of being sent back down." Those of you who already have your very own Marine can probably just hear the kindness in Sgt. A's voice. I got a wonderful feeling for how much they take care of other Marines, even Marine wannabees, and I found that reassuring.

On the way back home, #1 was obviously disappointed and was feeling a bit down. I told him that he had the luxury of feeling sorry for himself for exactly as long as it took to get home, but then he'd have to get back up and start again. He just gave me a look, but I got a nice hug when we got home. He went to change into his workout clothes right away. I went upstairs and cried. I won't let him feel sorry for himself, but I can certainly do it for him, as long as he doesn't see me doing it. I am his mom, after all.

#1 is now really pushing himself during his workouts. Right now, he's upstairs doing chin-ups while holding a smaller brother on his shoulders. Later, he'llbe out running with one of the collies. He heard very clearly what Sgt. A was saying. I'm glad I got to see how concerned Sgt. A was, but I'm also glad that I know that the Marines will make sure #1 gets what he needs, whether it's a kind word or a good kick in the butt There are some things a mom just can't do, so I am really starting to like these guys!

Posted by at 11:10 AM | Comments (1)

February 23, 2007

I Haven't Been There Or Done That...

...but my t-shirt arrived today. That's right - for the time being, I am just a Marine Corps Mom wannabee. I have four sons, collectively known as The Four Horsemen. My oldest, #1, is applying to go to Marine PLC - Platoon Leader Corps - this summer in Quantico. He really wants to become an officer in the Corps, and so our entire family are working with him and praying for him to be able to realize his dream. Even as a baby he was one of the most determined people I've ever met, and he is finding a good use for that determination. So, when he announced that he wanted to join the Marine Corps and had that look, I knew better than to do anything except smile proudly and try to stay out of his way.

Did I mention that my t-shirt arrived today? I've got it hanging on the wall in my bedroom. I bought it for myself, even though I can't wear it yet. I'm just waiting and praying for the day I can take it down from the hanger and wear it everywhere. It's really cute, and it is pink, my favourite colour. On the front it says, "I may look harmless, but I raised a U.S. Marine!" . The day I finally get to wear that shirt will be one of the proudest and happiest of my life. #1 told me that his recruiter told him that he'll be asked about whether his family supports his decision to become a Marine. I told him to tell Major X that I bought that shirt for myself and that I am relying on him to plan my wardrobe in a couple of years. #1 laughed, and said he'd say exactly that. So until then, I get to write here about my hopes (and fears) for my son, and about how it feels to watch my baby turn into a fine young man. That should keep me occupied until I get to wear that t-shirt.

Update:

Here is the link to the Marine Corps Gifts shop at cafepress:

I may look harmless but I raised a U.S. Marine

Posted by at 10:12 PM | Comments (4)

February 22, 2007

Add one to the team

Meet Cindy! She's in training to become a Marine Mom and has volunteered (one might call it drafted) to join the team here at Marine Corps Moms. I've known Cindy for years and consider her a close and very dear friend. I'm thrilled that she's consented to add her wisdom here. She's a gifted writer and I know you'll enjoy reading her thoughts.

Posted by Deb at 10:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 14, 2007

Valentine wishes from Marine Corps Moms

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January 22, 2007

The life, death, and death of Charles the Hamster

Sometimes, you see a bit of news that brings back a long forgotten memory. Here's one - and I'm certain this hunter never went through Marine Corps rifle training.

Wildlife officials said the feathered Lazarus had been shot by a hunter and put into his refrigerator for two days. That's when the hunter's wife opened the door and the duck lifted his head, giving her a scare.

The man's wife "was going to check on the refrigerator because it hadn't been working right and when she opened the door, it looked up at her," said Laina Whipple, a receptionist at Killearn Animal Hospital. "She freaked out and told the daughter to take it to the hospital right then and there."

The hospital's staff had the daughter take the 1-pound female ring-neck to Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary, where it has been treated since Tuesday for wounds to its wing and leg.

Sanctuary veterinarian David Hale said it has about a 75 percent chance of survival, but probably will not ever be well enough to be released back into the wild.

He said the duck, which has a low metabolism, could have survived in a big enough refrigerator, especially if the door was opened and closed several times.

And here's the memory that should have stayed repressed.

From the time he was a small boy, my son had lobbied for a dog. We'd tried birds and fish, but his response was always along the lines of "Fish are fun, but you can't take them out and play with them." I knew he yearned for a puppy but I wasn't ready to add that much responsibility to our lives. So, I agreed to a step up - this time to a warm-blooded pet (no snakes for this mom). Before I could change my mind, he suggested a haircut, knowing that a pet store was conveniently located right next door. We put our names on the list and wandered over. The back wall contained a number of cages with animals I'd heard of but never paid much attention to before. Mice, rats, hamsters, and guinea pigs . . . which to choose?

I immediately ruled out mice and rats. The guinea pigs were interesting but my son was drawn to the Teddy Bear Hamsters. These little guys were lively and seemed to have a bit of personality. After talking with the sales clerk, I gave my permission for our first pet mammal. Shane picked out a cute little guy with brown and white fur and immediately named him Charles. A real bargain at $4.95

The sales clerk assured us that the hamster would be happy in the ten-gallon aquarium we had recently emptied but suggested a few essential accessories. By the time the cart was full, our bargain pet was rapidly climbing the economic scale, but no matter. He was small and my son was ecstatic. He rode home in a cardboard box on my son's lap - until he showed his proclivity for escape by chewing through the bottom. We coaxed him out from under the car seat and rushed home to set up the aquarium. That evening we sat in rapt attention as Charles explored his new home for possible escape routes. Certainly better than TV.

The next morning, we realized that we should have weighted the screen cover. Charles had gone over the wall. Shane found him hiding in a corner of my closet and replaced him in his cage. We watched him immediately climb his water bottle and try for escape number two. Obviously this was a strong willed animal.

The next week, while shopping at Wal-Mart, we discovered hamster modular living units. Did our hamster need a second story for his new home? Proportionately, this rodent had far more square footage than we did in our home. No matter, we selected a modular unit designed to stand alone or fit on top of an aquarium, complete with a second exercise wheel, sky spinner, and hideaway cube. A tube extended through the floor into the aquarium below . . . kind of like an inside out fireman's pole. We added an accessory pack of modular tubes and a Hamster Ball for safe excursions out. By this time, I'd spent more making our hamster's home habitable than our own, at least in the recent past. Our ungrateful hamster didn't seem to care. His mission in life was to escape and he did. Frequently. It is somewhat humbling to be outsmarted by a hamster. Over the three years of his life, he never stopped trying to escape although eventually, once free, he would walk down the hall instead of running. This made it considerably easier to capture him.

From our book on hamster care, we knew that the normal life span of a hamster is about three years. Charles spent most of his first 2.5 years climbing up and down between his first floor apartment and the aquarium basement, endlessly looking for a way out. During the Christmas holidays one year, we were careful to leave plenty of food and water for him, but were gone more than we were home . . . and so our furnace was turned way down. One day I noticed that he had not changed position for at least two days. Finding him stiff and cold, I gently tried to prepare my son for his first real loss. We'd flushed a few goldfish, but Charles was a living, breathing mammal who had cuddled in his hand. After a few tears, we prepared a small cardboard box with a Kleenex lining. Since the ground outside was frozen, I placed the box in my refrigerator to await a proper burial on his grandfather's farm.

Two days later, my son opened the refrigerator door, slammed it shut and yelled at me, "Whiskers! I see whiskers!!" I opened the door, moved the orange juice, and there sat Charles, perched on top of my leftover Christmas ham and looking very pleased with himself. He had ignored the broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and stuff we normally fed him. Instead, he had nibbled on the butter, chocolate chip cookie dough, and had eaten quite a bit of the ham. Shane marveled, "He came back! And he came back as a carnivore!"

We learned that hamsters hibernate in low temperatures. And, we made really, really sure he was dead before we removed him from his cage the next time he died.

Posted by Deb at 11:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 29, 2006

OSU 39, Mizzou 38

Great game!! Even the breaking news update during the second quarter had the Marine Corps Band from 29 Palms playing in honor of President Ford, so no complaints there. Go Beavs!!

Posted by Deb at 03:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 27, 2006

The breaking of an American mother's heart...and her apologies

This op-ed is from one of my favorite Marine Corps Moms - Lori Holman. She's a moderator over at Marine Moms Online and her words are always worth reading.

I'm not here to discuss whether or not we should be in Iraq - it's been covered ad nauseum, and really quite beside the point right now. I'm here to comment on the people who are doing the fighting for America, and how they are often perceived here at home.

I'm writing to you because I'm absolutely incensed. I'm shaking so hard I can barely type. But I owe some people an apology...and here's why:

A customer standing in front of me in the convenience store this morning was chatting with the clerk. As I waited to pay for my soda, I heard the clerk say something about Iraq. Being the mother of two Marines who served in Iraq, my ears immediately tuned in just in time to hear the customer say "Marines!" He made a disgusted noise and continued, "Of course they're guilty! Why should we bother wasting our tax money on a trial for any of those murderers? They've been killing babies since Vietnam. They need to fry them right now and just disband the Marines! They're violent - Neanderthals dressed up in uniforms. If they were intelligent, they'd be in college, or have real jobs - not out slaughtering innocent people for fun. The whole military is full of nothing but animals. They're occupiers, fighting an illegal war, anyway."

It is here that I must say to you all, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't handle it better.

I'm sorry, frankly, that I didn't punch the son of a bitch. That would have been more natural. After all, my sons are "Neanderthals in uniform". They must get it from me.

I spend part of my time in a virtual world with other Marine Moms and Dads. We are bound together by the Red and Gold colors of the United States Marine Corps. Our own red stands for the heartblood of mothers of warriors, and the shining gold exemplifies our sons and daughters' selfless service to an entire nation. We have an eclectic yet tightly-knit community. We are Conservative and Liberal, from both blue states and red; we don't always see eye to eye on things political and spiritual. Yet always, our bond of love, pride and gratitude for our loved ones and what they sacrifice is strong and unshakeable. I owe this remarkable group that I love so much my second apology. I let you all down. I'm sure you guys & gals would have been better at handling the situation than I was.

I know two certain Gunnery Sergeants who helped guide my sons into the Corps. To me, they are the epitomy of truly outstanding Marines. They've always been kind to me even when I might not have deserved it, took time to help when others might have been impatient. They know that I'm often too emotional. But they also know that I'm truly honored to be a peripheral part of this great Marine Corps Family. So to you, dear Gunnys D and H - my third apology; for letting you down, not "sucking it up and carrying on". I know you would have handled it much more smoothly.

It's to my sons, and all the Marines Past, Present and Future that I owe my fourth apology. I'm sorry, Marines. I know you could have taken the whole situation in stride. You would have turned to your training and been able to ignore the whole tirade. You probably would have even laughed yourselves sick at that man's sheer gall.

But it was in that line at the store that I uttered my first apology. It was directed to the man who stood in front of me, carelessly speaking against my sons and all the Marines I hold so dearly in my heart.The apology was also directed to the rest of the Americans who do not believe in the heroes that have given everything they have to give for the country and people they love so much.

"I'm sorry." "What?" he said. I repeated "I'm sorry". He looked at me with a puzzled expression. I shook my head as I said, "I'm sorry you feel the way you do about Marines. I have two Marine sons." His expression began to turn into...what, I'm still not sure, but it looked too closely like the start of a contemptuous sneer for my liking. My voice started to shake. "It doesn't even occur to you does it, that our Marines have done nothing wrong - they just do their job. You think they're guilty of murder just because they're MARINES." His mouth started to move, but I put up my hand and stopped him before he could talk. "I don't know why you said what you just said, or why you feel the way you do - but I know one thing. My sons and every Marine I personally know has more intelligence, honor, courage and decency than you'll develop over your whole miserable, unimportant life." By this time I am ashamed to say, I've totally lost my bearing. Tears are pouring down my face. I said thickly, "There's more worth inside the sorriest Marine than there is in the man standing in front of me right now." He started to say something, but again I interrupted. "Your level of sheer ignorance about the Marine Corps make me sad. The fact that better men than you could ever be, have died so you could stand here and talk about them is even sadder. But the saddest thing about you is...you're not even smart enough to know just how right I am. I'm so, so sorry for you."

There was absolute silence in that store. I know everyone was staring at me like I'd just grown three heads and wings. Hell, maybe I had. I rubbed my eyes and turned to what I hoped was the door, blinded by tears of frustration and pent-up rage. Like the coward a Marine is not, I fled to my car. I ended up leaving without the damned soda I came to buy. I don't even know if I set it down, or it ended up on the store's floor in a huge mess. So I failed not just the people who expect me to behave better than that man in the store, I failed to even accomplish the tiny mission I set out on. This whole morning just sucked. Good Lord.

Maybe it's human nature to believe in guilt before examination, rather than innocence - maybe it's too easy for some to think the worst of people they don't even know. Personally, I find it easier to think the best of someone before I think the worst. Our Dogs of War have given everything for the sheep they love so much. And what do some give them in return? Betrayal. Betrayal from the media who hide behind them in order to keep the right to speak out against them. Betrayal from many of the American people who seem to believe that when the military trains for war, they lose their humanity. That somehow, known terrorists get a pass for deliberate slaughter of innocents, but certain young & heroic Americans are branded guilty before they are tried in courts of law - found guilty by a public who won't show even a shadow of thankfulness for the freedoms these same men afford us all. Hell, sadly enough they are often condemned by politicians who seize the chance to denigrate them...all to further their own agendas and careers.

What's happened to our society that our bravest young men and women are branded as animals - and yet terrorists get sympathy? Have you people lost your minds? Our warriors deserve our trust and confidence. They've earned it. Don't think so? That's your right, I know. It's also my right to think you are drowning in bull.

Our sons and daughters, our fellow Americans who serve do their jobs voluntarily. They are not forced or coerced to do so. We could not keep the free society we have if it were not for men and women who selflessly make the choice to serve. But now we could be facing a problem seldom seen in this country - a possible lack of willingness to put oneself on the line. Not by the idea that certain wars might be just or unjust. But by the perception among the ranks that when push comes to shove, they will be hung out to dry for political gain by their own leaders. Or worse, that they might be judged by their fellow Americans to be unworthy of thanks and support, no matter what they face, or where they fight.

I've decided I can learn a thing or three from people like that man, perhaps in a way I never would have envisioned when I first fell apart in that tiny Stop-n-Rob 'Em. First, I can usually count on people who are least worthy of our freedoms to be the most careless when applying them. Second, it's not a good idea for me to leave my house at 0630 with no coffee beforehand. And third...I'm never going to understand some people and their embrace of ignorance and hatred, no matter how long I live. It is my fervent wish never to do so.

Carry on, America. Whatever you decide about wars and those who fight them, you're still safe and comfy here at home to make those decisions. You aren't out there facing what these troops have faced. And you presume to know enough to condemn them for what you cannot possibly imagine? I'd say you should be ashamed, but I wonder if some people even are capable of feeling that emotion anymore. Meanwhile, some of the best and brightest of America are defending you so you won't have to do it yourselves. Why? Some days, I really don't know the answer. And then I realize that they are all heroes simply because they do it - whether we deserve it or not. And this is our reward to them?

To the man I met in the store this morning - I hope someday you fully know the shadow you've cast on your own soul. May God forgive you. I don't know that I can so quickly as He.

And to our troops - thank you all for having our backs. I'm truly sorry so many Americans have stabbed you in yours.

Lori Holman

"In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free." - Edward Gibbon

Posted by Deb at 04:52 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

December 04, 2006

What makes Marines special

After spending the Thanksgiving weekend in Palm Springs with my son and a few of his friends, including a couple of former Marines, I was reminded how the lessons learned in boot camp remain after years of civilian life. It's not just the courtesy (no one calls me "ma'am" in Oregon) or the wicked sense of humour. No matter how much alcohol these guys consume - remember that the Marine Corps was born in a tavern, and that heritage has been faithfully celebrated for the last 231 years - they can snap to attention and recite any of the 11 general orders when asked. It's not exactly a drinking game, but when one Marine asks another (who left the Corps in 1996) what is his 2nd General Order, the instant response is, "walk my post in a military manner, keeping always on the alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing." Or, expound on history of the Battle of Belleau Woods since they will always consider themselves "Belleau Fellows". I imagine that 50 years from now if these guys get together, the focus of their conversation (as well as their lives) will be the USMC and the good times they had in and after the Corps. There's an intangible bond that will never be broken between Marine brothers and this cameraderie was expressed beautifully by Army Gen. William Thornson who said "There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion."

On Saturday, we visited the Morongo Casino and outlet malls at Cabezon where the guys wore the Pirates of the Caribbean III hats they'd received from a friend who is currently working on that movie. When they found pajama pants printed with skulls & crossbones at the Ralph Lauren outlet store, their day was made. Looking at these two Marines, relaxing in new slippers and pajamas during their holiday weekend, it's hard to believe that six months ago, they were on the other side of the world and dressed a bit differently.

At the top of 10,084 foot Mt. San Jacinto after ascending the Palm Springs Tramway and waiting in line for a wilderness permit behind groups of properly attired hiking groups with boots, packs, maps, and hiking stick , two Marines were told by the park ranger, "First, you do not come into my ranger station with beer. And, you do not wear tennis shoes in the wilderness.". Marine response, "So can we get a permit?" "No!" And walking out of the station, remarking to themselves, "I'd like to see any of those hikers put on a 40 lb. pack and run the trail. That's what we do on base." But, they were polite and good-natured as Marines are.

And we hiked a few trails that took my breath away (8,000 foot elevation makes a difference) but was an easy stroll for them.

Marines. God Bless them. I can't imagine any group I'd rather spend time with. I know exactly what Eleanor Roosevelt, meant when she said back in 1945, "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"

Posted by Deb at 10:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 01, 2006

Operation Santa USMC 2006

It's mid-November, not December 1, but this post needs to stay front and center! Our database is finally fixed and Marine Corps Moms is back - this time, hopefully, for a longer run. We are neck deep in Operation Santa USMC 2006 - packing parties are taking place all over the country. If you're involved, send your pictures and we'll put them up. Connie spent last evening at Oregon State University with students who packed and mailed 600 stockings to deployed Marines. I'm leaving tonight for North Bend, OR to help with a weekend long packing party - we hope to send up to 3,000 stockings. More pictures later.

We still have over 3,000 Marines in groups of 50 and up who need to be adopted. If you can help, please e-mail operationsanta@marinecorpsfamilyfoundation.org. Tax deductible donations can be sent to:

Marine Corps Family Foundation
4000 Lancaster Ave. Ste. 57
Salem, OR 97309

Or, donate via Paypal here:

You'll not only get a tax deduction, you'll wake up Christmas morning knowing that you helped make the holidays just a bit brighter for our deployed troops.

Posted by Deb at 10:04 AM

October 11, 2006

Lessons of Love and Loyalty

When a hero is taken from us, the world is diminished for us all. It seems that tragedy brings out extreme emotions in ordinary people; emotions that trigger actions both negative and positive. People like Fred Phelps rejoice in the tragedies of war, pushing forth their own perverted agenda of hate. People like Cindy Sheehan twist the memories of our fallen heroes into a distorted view of world events. But evil is overbalanced with good. People like Patriot Guard Riders and those with no connection to the military, but who stand in support of heroes who gave up their lives for our freedom. And, people like Emily Dieruf, Mike and Terrie Thorpe, Paula Zwillinger, Scott & Candy Wasser - spouses and parents who have had their lives shattered yet rebuilt a positive future.

My good friend, Cindy N. is a strong supporter of our military men and women. A single mom of four spirited boys - the four horsemen - she recognizes the importance of backing up words of support with action. Knowing that Fred Phelps had threatened to picket the funeral of fallen Marine Captain Justin Peterson last Monday, she packed up her boys and headed to Michigan as a show of support for a grieving military family. Her original intent was to show her boys the face of hate in America and to encourage them to take a stand against evil. By the end of the day, they'd seen love and loyalty instead. Here's her story:

Today was the funeral for Marine Captain Justin Peterson. I didn't know Captain Peterson, but I decided to take the boys to his funeral after we learned that Fred Phelps and his band of misfits intended to picket the Peterson funeral. Captain Peterson was killed in Iraq last week, and I thought it would be as good a time as any for the boys to learn that there are people like Captain Peterson in the world and that they owe him an enormous debt of gratitude for fighting to keep our country safe for them. It was also a good time to point out that although I loathe Phelps more than anyone I can think of at the moment, Captain Peterson died to protect the basic freedoms we all take for granted, most of all the right to free speech, even for people like Phelps. However, we were going to show support for the Peterson family . I don't agree that Phelps should be using the funerals of servicemen and women as a public forum, so at 6 a.m. we were up and having breakfast so that we could be on the road by 8. We arrived after the Patriot Guard Riders had set up in the church parking lot. As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw the double row of gleaming bikes parked so close together they looked like a Chinese puzzle. Standing in a long line were the Patriot Guards holding their flags at attention. The line stretched from the street along the entire driveway and down the sidewalk into the church - quite an impressive sight. Of course, as soon as we'd parked, the Horsemen wanted to go and talk to the Patriot Guards. For the two youngest, that was probably the highlight of the day. If you're a nine year old boy, it doesn't get much better than getting to talk to real veterans who ride real motorcycles. #1 was his usual very polite self, and before long he'd been invited to join the Guard and bring his university friends to their various missions – 'missions' being the term used to describe the way they protect grieving families from the insults and hate speech delivered by the members of the Phelps gang. After reading some of the signs Phelps posts on his website, I can understand why the Patriot Guard Riders are necessary. A family dealing with the death of a young son or daughter should not have to be confronted by a crazy man who applauds IEDs - 'improvised explosive devices', the homemade bombs which kill so many of our young servicemen. After the boys had visited with the Patriot Guards, the local sheriff's office arrived, eight officers mounted on some very large horses. The officers split off into two groups, one patrolling along a side road and one riding up over a hill near the church. That's when the nice Patriot Guard man asked me if I didn't want to take the children on inside the church. He said that it would be much kinder to the ushers if I were to take my large group in before it became too difficult to find seats all together. #1 began to protest, but the man raised his eyebrows, nodded his head toward one of the hills, and then looked at #'s 3 and 4. #1 decided that he agreed, and we all went inside the church. Now, this post was supposed to be called "The Horsemen hate Fred Phelps". I had intended to write about seeing the members of the Westboro Baptist Church behaving in the appalling way they do and about the Horsemen's response to those people. I'd even written down a few notes before we left this morning, after talking with each boy about how they might feel if some nasty people came in to a private family occasion and tried to make them feel worse. For the record, the boys were unanimously opposed to that kind of behaviour. However, the day turned out not to be about hate at all. We'd barely gotten through the church door when this article had a sudden change of name - and subject. In the lobby was a small basket of envelopes with a photo of Captain Peterson's three children and a simple note stating that donations would be accepted only for the children's college funds. The Marine in charge of the basket was so kind to the Horsemen, he leaned down so that even the shortest could say his name to the man. When we got into the church proper, we were led to our seats. As the church was filling up, I was worried that we might be taking seats away from other mourners, and so said to the usher,"We aren't family, there might not be enough room," and the usher said kindly,"Yes, you are. Everyone here is family". As we waited for the service to begin, we watched as the Marines attending the funeral all came to the coffin to pay their last respects. The serious faces and the slow salutes are something I'll never forget. Then the funeral service started, and I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like this. The grandfather of the family had been a Marine, so that is what young Justin wanted to be since he was three, according to family. He had played Marine as a child, and when he went to university enrolled in the Marine reserves. He came from a military family, and his younger brother was also a Marine. The love for the Corps and country was a theme in every tribute to Captain Peterson, from his father's to that of his high school principal - who began his speech by saying,"I remember Justin quite clearly. He and I shared an office for several years", which got a huge laugh from those who knew him. For all that Captain Peterson's family and loved ones said wonderful things about him, what was most outstanding about this funeral were the Marines themselves. We were all impressed by the last visitation before the funeral began. However, when one young Marine from Captain Peterson's unit came forward to talk, I was surprised and moved beyond anything I'd expected. This young Marine held a notecard with the condolence message from the unit written on it. It was his job to express what Captain Peterson's men wanted to say. He walked up to the podium, clenched and unclenched his jaw, kept adjusting his cap lower and lower, and then, finally, he just stood there. For what seemed like forever but was really closer to five minutes, the young man stood, unable to speak. Finally, he began in a rough voice which kept cracking. He had to stop a few times, and at one point his voice broke entirely. He coughed, wiped his nose and said,"Allergies". And then stood there trying to regain his composure. Finally, after starting and stopping and invoking 'allergies' again, Captain Peterson's widow walked up the stairs to the podium, placed her arm around his shoulders and clasped his hand with hers, and stood with him. After his speech was over, she walked back down with him, walked him to his seat, wiped his face with her handkerchief and went back to her seat. All, of course, without crying herself. Seeing this enormous act of compassion for another even on the day of her husband's funeral was more than we mere mortals could bear, and there was not a dry eye in the church. The other Marines were openly crying, and one, the man whom everyone saluted, had Kleenex in both hands, and kept using first one handful and then the other. All funerals present the departed one in the best light possible. Everyone who dies has had a positive effect on those around him, at least according to the eulogies, whether or not it is true. However, Captain Peterson really was one of those men who seemed to leave a mark on everyone's life who knew him. His friends from high school openly wept. His best friend from university gave a speech about visiting Arlington National Cemetery with his friend Justin which made everyone in the church sit up just a little prouder and straighter. By the time the funeral was over, everyone was in tears but were also overwhelmed by what a caring and joyful family he'd grown up in. Still, the main themes were still love of family, love of country, loyalty to fellow Marines. That is no longer just a slogan to the Horsemen, something they've heard and read about. Now, that philosophy has a very real face - the face of Marine Captain Justin Peterson. Semper fi, Captain Peterson. The Horsemen all say "Oorah!"

Posted by Deb at 02:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 10, 2006

We're back!

After an unplanned absence, the Marine Corps Moms are back in print (or on screen). It's been a busy summer - Connie's son, Cpl. Bill Riecke, was married in July. Deb's son, Cpl. Shane Conrad, returned from his third deployment in Iraq and is currently home on post-deployment leave. Both of us are immersed in details of Operation Santa (more on that later this week) and we're signing up volunteers to fill and ship 22,000 Christmas stockings to our deployed Marines.

Posted by Deb at 11:18 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 27, 2006

How I'm spending my Memorial Day weekend

I raised a Marine. I've spent more weekends than I can count camping in locations throughout the western United States, and when my son wanted to go camping for his birthday one January, I packed our tent and gear and flew him to Florida. Fair-weather outdoor girl, that's me. Although tent camping is fine, our tent is 18x11, 4 rooms, with an indoor carpet, table & chairs, queen size airbed, and camping china. When I rough it, I do it with the comforts of home and the showers had better be no further than a very short hike away.

So now, I'm dating a guy who is not only collects motorcycles but when he hears about motorcycle rallies, he is so there. With a passion that I reserve for shoe sales at Nordstroms. And this weekend, there is a rally for sidecar enthusiasts in Yakima, Washington, just up the road from Oregon. It was either wave goodbye or climb in and hang on. We are so there.

See the miniature tent in the foreground? That's ours. And it's been pouring all day, except for the sunbreak when I took the picture. The tent behind ours is where a gaggle of small children are sleeping, children who evidently wake up at 4:30 a.m. every day and fight, scream and cry until their parents wake up. There's also a back-up rooster who starts crowing as soon as the kids wake him up. The motorcycle & sidecar to the left of the tent? Try riding in that through a major wind and hail storm. Our next trip had better be someplace warm and sunny, I'll tell you what.

While I'm holed up in the laundry room with my laptop, John (red coat) is out talking with people who see virtue in riding motorcycles in inclement weather. He's like a kid in a candy store. The guys that rode in on the bikes above came across the pass into Yakima - at one point they hit 18 inches of snow. So now, he wants one of those. Somehow, we're going to have to compromise between one of those and a motorhome. The Mel's Diner truck in the background is doing a steak feed tonight. If I can find the rooster, that menu is going to be extended.

A number of the guys that showed up have canine sidecar passengers. Note the goggles. Either the women stayed home, or these guys can't get dates. Looking at the guys, it's a toss-up.

Nice people though. And the laundry room, with dryers going, stays warm. Maybe I'll sleep in here tonight. With enough quarters, I could keep the dryers spinning all night long.

Posted by Deb at 03:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 22, 2006

Letter to President Bush from a Gold Star Mom

During a recent visit to Washington D.C., a good friend took me to see Arlington National Cemetary. As we looked out over acres of lush green lawn, covered with neat rows of white tombstones, she remarked, "Each one of them had a mother".

Indeed. And in the magnitude of loss, we need to remember that each one of our fallen heroes should be remembered individually. Cindy Hicks, whose only child, SSgt. Jason Ramsmeyer, was killed in an IED explosion last month in Haditha, sent this letter to President Bush as a reminder that every time two Marines knock on a front door, the fabric of the family who lives there will be irrevocably changed.

Here is her letter:

Dear Mr. Bush: You do not know me, however I felt compelled to write to you and tell you about my son. You see, he was a 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment based in Hawaii, and he now lives in your neighborhood, Arlington National Cemetery, Section 60. His name was Staff Sergeant Jason Carroll Ramseyer and he was 29 years old. He was killed on April 20, 2006 in the Al Anbar Province, Haditha, Iraq by an IED explosive device. He leaves behind a wife, Amanda and two little girls. Rylee Grace is 3 1/2 and Kadence just turned 2. He was my only child. He joined the Marines in 1996 two weeks after graduating from high school. He served in Kosovo, Afghanistan and Iraq. Jason was hand picked out of thousands of Marines for his skills and ability as a teacher, as well as a leader. He presently served as the platoon commander for the battalion's Forward Command Post, known as "Jump CP." He was in charge of security for Lt. Colonel Norman L. Cooling and was killed protecting Lt. Colonel Cooling, as well as his fellow Marines. His comrades called him a "Marines Marine." We have not only lost an important person in our personal life, but our country has lost a valuable Marine. These men and women have willingly volunteered to serve our country. They are the leaders and some of our strongest and we are losing them EVERY day. There were 76 lives lost just in the month of April 2006. I have received cards and letters from mothers who have lost their sons and daughters as well. One card was from a young man's mother who lost his life in Jason's unit during their Afghanistan deployment. It is time for our country's leaders to pay attention to the small details, the individual lives lost. My son's new fascination was golf. We played when I visited him in Hawaii the end of February, prior to his deployment on March 11, 2006. In the last email I received from him he said that he had made a tee platform on the dam, found an old golf club, and would I send him some cheap golf balls so that he could practice and hit them off the dam into the water. He never got my response the following day. This Sunday, May 14th is Mother's Day. I will be at Lookout Dam on the Catawba River hitting golf balls into the water in honor of my son who will never again send me a Mother's Day card telling me how much he loved me. My son's wishes were to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery because of his love for his country and his pride at being a United States Marine. My request is a simple one. Please pay him a personal visit at Arlington. He respected you, loved his family, his country, God and the Marines. As a mother, I need to know that my son receives the respect, honor and dignity he deserves in giving his life for his country. The Marines have already shown me that, now I would like to receive that gift from you. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Cynthia Hicks

From an earlier Charlotte Observer story about the life of SSgt Ramsmeyer:

His last deployment began March 9, 2006. His job was to lead a squad escorting Lieutenant Colonel Norm Cooling, commander of the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, from place to place in Iraq. He took the job seriously, as he did everything else, Mandy said. A Marine Corps Major told her the squad had just dropped Cooling off at a meeting and was headed back to base when Jason got out of his Humvee to check an object in the road, as he had dozens of times before. If he suspected a bomb, he'd call a bomb squad. This time, he never got the chance. The device was remote-controlled, and Jason didn't even have time to take cover. Hicks, who works as a paralegal in Hickory, got an urgent call from her husband that afternoon. He told her to come home immediately. When she arrived, she knew. Two Marines were waiting. Her son had told her: If Marines ever show up at your door, it doesn't mean I'm injured. She thought, too, about what he'd told her and Mandy before his deployment to Afghanistan. He was packing, and he insisted on showing them the precise spot on his uniform for each of his 10 medals. Neither woman wanted to hear it or even think about it. But Jason said: No, you need to know where the medals go in case something happens. Hicks hoped with everything she had that she'd never have to apply the lesson. Jason was her only child. "I know there's got to be a special reason why (God) took him from me and his babies," Hicks said. "But he was a Marine, and he was very proud, and that was his job."

Posted by Deb at 10:04 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 20, 2006

Happy Mother's Day . . . from Iraq

Captain Ty Phipps, 1st Marine Logistics Group, couldn't be in Oregon to give his mom a hug on Mother's Day this year. He's currently deployed for at least a year. But he made sure his mom knew he was thinking about her anyway.

When she came home on Saturday, she found a vase of roses on her front doorstep. He called her Sunday morning while she was enjoying a Mother's Day breakfast at the local community College. And when she got home, there was an e-mail waiting with a unique picture - "Happy Mother's Day" written on the tail section of a non-functional bomber - part of the detritus of war, now transormed into a one-of-a-kind Mother's Day message. This is, after all, the Marine Corps way - doing more with less and winning hearts and minds. This time, from halfway around the world.

Posted by Deb at 11:23 PM

May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day from Laura Bush

First Lady Laura Bush was interviewed on FOX News Sunday this morning by Chris Wallace - here's her message to military (and other) Moms:

Well, I want to say happy Mother's Day to mothers all over the United States and to my own mother, who I hope is watching this. But I also hope that mothers know everywhere how much - especially the mothers of our deployed troops, how much the people of the United States stand with them and how many prayers are said for our troops and for their families. Everywhere I go, people tell me that, that they're praying for them and they want the very, very best for them. And so I want them to know that. I also want them to know that their loved ones are performing a wonderful task. The idea of being able to have a democracy in Iraq for three - for Iraq to have had three huge elections where millions of people showed up even though there were threats of violence. Iraq is trying to build its government right now, and I think if it's successful, which I truly believe it will be, that Iraq will end up being a beacon of hope, a beacon of democracy in the Middle East. In Afghanistan, women can walk outside their doors now, girls can go to school, and girls and women in Afghanistan are so hungry for education that most schools have three schedules, with little kids going in the morning, and older children going in the afternoon, and then their parents going to school at night. So those are huge accomplishments that we have been able to make as Americans because of our troops. So I want to thank all the mothers around the country, too, for their love and their strong support for their children everywhere, whether their children are in the military or not.

Posted by Deb at 12:53 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Memories of Mother's Day

This year, my son is deployed and probably won't get a chance to call me on this Mother's Day. There's no PX in his remote location, so I'm not expecting a card. But, thinking back through the past 21 years that I've had as a mother, I've never been prouder of my son, nor more content to be a Marine Corps Mom. Knowing that my son is one of the few and the proud . . . one of the best . . . . that is the best gift I could wish for. I have many memories of past Mother's Days that I will always remember and cherish. But several memories stand out as unique and completely unforgettable.

May 20, 1984 was my first Mother's Day. I loved every minute of being a mom and going back to work was difficult. The best part of each day was picking up my son and devoting my evenings and weekends to him. On the third Sunday in May, he was 4 months old and just starting to notice the outside world. We strolled through the local mall and another family stopped to talk. Our babies stared at each other and the other baby sneezed. Shane, for the first time, laughed out loud - not just a smile nor a quiet giggle but a definite guffaw. Another sneeze and he howled with laughter in his stroller. I thought it was the best Mother's Day gift ever.

In first grade, his teacher helped the children make cards and gifts for their mothers. Shane's Mother's Day package was accidentally picked up by another child on Friday afternoon and he was distraught. By the time I picked him up from school, he'd enlisted the help of the principal, custodian, and another teacher to help him track down the missing gift and make the switch. His determination and perseverence were typical - this was the child, after all, that hired his own babysitter when he decided that day care wasn't for him. (He went door to door in our neighborhood interviewing potential sitters - by the time I discovered what he was doing, he'd found a wonderful grandmother who was delighted to take on the care of my son for a few hours a day.)

When Shane hit middle school, he was a bit peeved to find that the only elective class to fit his schedule was Home Economics. His idea of a well-cooked meal was one he did not have to prepare . . . or clean up afterwards. However, he gradually became fascinated with the process of cooking and prepared several simple dinners. As Mother's Day approached, he decided that his gift would be breakfast in bed. As a single mom, I was touched but somewhat anxious that he would be alone in the kitchen.

In his usual style, he planned this event for weeks. One of his to-do lists mentioned locking the puppy in the bathroom among other things to remember. I went to bed at 10:00 on the night before Mother's Day. Shane told me that as soon as he had the kitchen set up for breakfast, he would go to bed as well. I woke up at 2:00 and heard noises in the kitchen . . . went in to find the table covered with cookbooks, the counters cluttered with bowls, pans, etc. and a fine dusting of flour over everything, including the floor, Shane, and the puppy. After offering to help (declined) and explaining why I do not own a pastry blender (a fork works for me but I did get one for my birthday later that year since his Home Ec teacher considered them essential equipment), I went back to bed. Shane told me that he had his alarm clock set and I was supposed to stay in bed until he brought me breakfast.

I woke up at 7:00 a.m. Sat in bed and read, mended, corrected homework until 9:00. His alarm went off . . . and continued to ring. We had to leave for church at 10:00. Finally, I tiptoed down the hall and peeked into the living room. Shane was sprawled on the couch, fast asleep, puppy curled up beside him, also fast asleep. I shook him gently. No response. Harder, and yet harder. Finally, he sat up and asked me to go get the tray from inside (!) the oven and a jar of applesauce. I brought back a tray with 3 small pastry shells, each with a lid. He filled each one with applesauce, handed me the tray, mumbled "Happy Mother's Day" and once more fell asleep.

He'd been up till 4:00 trying to find a very special recipe for his mom. He rejected the usual breakfast fare (pancakes, waffles) and finally came up with a unique and original plan. He made pie crust pastry, molded it around empty soda pop cans and cut lids to fit, made decorative impressions in the dough, baked them, and cleaned the kitchen afterward.

The pastry was . . . challenging to chew. I don't care for applesauce. That breakfast, however, was the most wonderful meal I've ever eaten as I sat on the edge of the couch, next to my sleeping son. I'll never forget it.

Six years later, he was a senior in high school and enrolled in the Marine Corps Delayed Entry Program. He told me to pick whatever I wanted to do for Mother's Day and I wanted to spend the day with him. So, we headed up to Portland, went out to breakfast, strolled through the downtown area, browsed Powell's Books, and sweltered. It was unseasonably warm for an Oregon spring. By midafternoon, he'd had enough of Portland and was ready to head out. However, I hadn't had enough of my son. Reaching our truck, I asked him what he wanted to do and his answer was, "Cool down". Then he fell asleep.

Two hours later, I parked, turned off the truck and as he woke up, I asked him if he was cool enough. Incredulously, he looked out over a snow-covered meadow. We were at Timberline Lodge, far above the snow line on Mt. Hood. We spent the rest of the afternoon watching the snowboarders and wandering through the Lodge. It's another memory that always makes me smile.

That next year, he was in Iraq where he participated in OIF I . . . the first Mother's Day that we had spent apart, let alone on opposite sides of the world. And, he waited in line for over three hours to call me. The phone call was 3 minutes long. I will never forget the sound of his voice . . . "Hey Mom? Happy Mother's Day!"

This year, I can't spend the day with him and I probably won't hear his voice. But I couldn't be prouder of the man he's become and I have 21 years of memories to hold me until he comes home next fall. We'll celebrate then.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there . . . cherish your children for the joy they bring.

Posted by Deb at 02:47 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 03, 2006

What NOT to say to a Marine wife

Life after retirement brings adjustments for most couples, but military retirement has unique challenges. One of my favorite writers, Diana Hartman Culture Editor for Blogcritics and outspoken Marine wife, has this to say on the frustrations of finding a place to call home after the Corps. They'd hoped to land in Kansas where she has strong ties. But then, she ran up against the roadblock of the Kansas higher education system. Do read her essay - it's an excellent reminder of just one of the many sacrifices that military families make. And the doors that remain closed for them.

Dissimilarly, there was that minor issue with Senator Sam Brownback's office. The person who had been briefed of my situation before taking my call had an observation to make once she took the call and then hung up without answering the question, "What is your name?" She said something we military spouses everywhere loathe to hear. It has been bad enough to hear it from civilians over the years, most especially from distant and insensitive boofs from my own family, but to have heard it from my Senator's office was a bit too much. "Well," she said. "You chose that life." Yes, I did. I'm not sure what in the Sam Hill that has to do with the price of tea in China, but yes, Mr Brownback's voicebox, you are correct. My husband chose to join the Marine Corps and I chose to marry him. Let us eat cake. Or, in this case, wheat.

Ouch.

Posted by Deb at 01:01 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 23, 2006

Milblog Conference recap

The third panel of the day included milbloggers who had brought their experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan to us through their blogs. Participants included Col. David Hunt (retired) who took a very active role as the panel moderator, Jeff, Fred, Bill Roggio, Captain B, and Michael.

Saturday morning was a grand adventure. I reached downtown Washington D.C. via Metrorail, exiting the station to a gentle spring rain. I had high expectations - after all, the list of attendees and participants included some of the bloggers who I'd been reading since the first time my son left for Iraq. Lt. Smash (now, Citizen Smash or LtCmdr Smash - take your pick). Matt from Blackfive. John and Beth Donovan from Castle Arrggghhh and SWWBO. And, many others - some who'd I'd read for years and some who are now added to my "must read" list. And, I wasn't disappointed.

I'll fill in details later - but do read the liveblogging accounts of the day from:

GunnNutt

Euphoric Reality

La Shawn Barber's Corner

Soldiers' Angels

Two Babes and a Brain

And, here is the Stars & Stripes take on the conference :

Overregulation of military weblogs by the defense officials will not only demoralize troops but also silence many of the military’s strongest advocates, a panel of leading bloggers said Saturday. "There’s a growing gap between people who have no contact with the military and people who have contact every day," said Scott Koenig, better known as the blogger L.T. Smash. "And one thing we can do (to counter that) is tell our story, and tell it effectively, and tell it intelligently." But the blogging experts also warned that servicemembers and military families who use weblogs must be vigilant in what they post, because carelessness could easily enrage military leaders and possibly risk lives. The comments came at the first military blogger conference, designed to highlight the online writings of servicemembers and their supporters, and to look ahead at the challenges facing the growing format. More than 150 bloggers and blog readers attended the event, and dozens more participated in the activities through a collection of virtual conference links. The bloggers who spoke at the conference — most of whom have been online for several years — said that operational security is usually at the heart of command concerns over troops’ Internet usage. Sgt. 1st Class C.J. Grisham, who served in the 3rd Infantry Division during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, ran his online blog, A Soldier’s Perspective, for 18 months until earlier this month. He said his site received hits from all over the world, including from many Middle Eastern groups he suspects were looking for tactical information. Koenig, who began his blog while stationed in Kuwait as a Naval Reservist, said he has seen only a few cases where problematic material has been posted online, but even a single careless post could be invaluable to those working against U.S. forces. "We all worry about that," he said. Still, the bloggers who spoke Saturday believed that self-regulation by the blogging community and attentiveness among military writers is the best solution, as opposed to more military regulation. Last week, Pentagon officials announced the Defense Science Board, a 40-member body that advises the Pentagon on technical and other matters, will study a host of online tools, including blogs, to determine the challenges they present to military readiness and morale. In addition, in the last year each of the four services has also issued its own directive on troops’ posting pictures and stories online. Airman John Noonan, who recently helped launch the blog www.op-for.com, admitted that for now the site is more of a hobby than a career, and if the Air Force told him to stop his online activities he would. But he hopes the military doesn’t take that adversarial approach to the bloggers. "These are people standing up, trying to win the war at home," he said.

The day ended on another high note - the Costantini family invited me for dinner and even though I was terribly late (I think I set a new record for wrong turns while driving), they were warm and gracious and the dinner was delicious. Carrie Costantini is both a Marine wife and Marine mom - she is an amazing woman. I truly enjoyed the evening.

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April 15, 2006

Marine Parents United Conference 2006 - last day for earlybird registration!

Today, April 15, is the last day for earlybird registration for the 2006 Marine Parents United conference - July 28-30, Raleigh NC. It will be a wonderful three days of meeting new and old friends, gaining and giving support, and then leaving with some great memories as you look forward to the 2007 conference.

Whether your Marine has just shipped to boot camp or has served for 20 years, this conference is for you. And Gold Star parents are urged to attend - you'll meet a number of others and find much love and support.

Posted by Deb at 09:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 06, 2006

Back at the blogging keyboard

Thanks to all of you who have sent notes wondering where we were. We've been in recovery from Operation Santa (over 12,000 stockings mailed), and I've had my son home on predeployment leave. He left for the sandbox last Monday and has arrived safely at his not-quite-final destination. Thank God. Now, to catch up.

I'll post more on these later, but Sempertoons has graciously offered to provide us with weekly cartoons about life in the Corps. I picked up one of their books while visiting the Marine Base at 29 Palms last week. Good stuff and you'll enjoy it.

Steve Danyluk has put his excellent photographs, taken while he was deployed in Iraq, on the market and all proceeds will support wounded troops. He's a great photographer and I'll have more on this tomorrow.

Marcel Rust, proud father of a junior race car driver in Florida, is spearheading Adopt a Marine. He's taken on the task of making sure that 1/7 Marines who deployed last week are well supplied with love from home. More on that later this week too.

Nice to be back - both here and at home. This has been a week of travel - flew to Florida for a wedding and to California where I missed seeing my son off by 18 hours. The deployment leave window was moved up at the last minute and it was too late to change my ticket - no seats left. That was a disappointment.

I drove my son's truck from the base home. It's big. Three times as big as my car (with 1/3 the gas mileage - ahem) although I only got stopped once for hugging the fog line. The very nice California Highway Patrol Officer who stopped me was a former Marine who had also been stationed at 29 Palms. No ticket, just a gentle suggestion to find a hotel and stop for the night. Good idea. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

Posted by Deb at 08:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 26, 2005

Message from a Gold Star Mother

Yesterday, Kristine Mason, another Marine Corps Mom sent this message:

I am a Marine mom of a fallen hero - LCpl. John Lucente, who died on Nov.16, 2005 in Operation Steel Curtain. This has been extremely difficult for us and I know many will follow in this pain. How can I be a support to others in the same way the marine moms have been for me. I have a small but strong voice and I would very much like to share it.

I am so very proud of what our Marines are doing and will stand up against any person who says we are over there in vain. JT's story is attached if you have a few moments. Again I am very proud of MY LOVE, MY SON, MY MARINE and now MY HERO,

Sincerely, Kristine Mason - Marine mom forever

One day after learning that our son was in Iraq, we received the tragic news that Marine Lance Cpl. John "JT" Lucente, 19, was killed with four other Marines as they performed a sweep for enemy combatants in Iraq's al-Abar province near the Syrian border. Our friends and family share our admiration for John, who so proudly became a Marine and died in service, protecting our freedoms and fighting that others may know the same God-given rights that we as Americans embrace. John enlisted in the Marine Corps when he was a junior at Bear River High School. It was a decision he made on his own, out of a deep desire to serve God and his country. He proudly wore his Marine Corps uniform and was so honored to have accomplished the rigorous training to become a United States Marine. John was an honorable man, who took his commitment to the Marines with dignity and respect. John was a quiet, hardworking young man, who enjoyed spending time with his family. He especially enjoyed spending time with his brother Cris, 15. After graduating from basic training, it was evident they were now more than brothers, they were best friends. John's younger sister, Cassie, 9, was his princess to the end and shared a special bond together from the moment he first laid eyes on his sister. Both children consider John as their hero and treasure the memories they share. John's new baby brother Jake, whom John named, is only seven weeks old. John did have the opportunity to see photos of Jake via the internet, and was looking forward to holding his new brother for the first time next spring, when he was scheduled to be home again. Both Cris and Cassie will now share John's legacy with Jake, ensuring that those memories live on. John was encouraged by his step-father Shawn to always look to the future and be the best he could be. Shawn affectionately will always remember the bond they shared during their time together. John enjoyed the outdoors and being in God's creation. He especially enjoyed trips to Jamestown with Shawn to spend the afternoon playing paintball together. As John's mother, I will never put away the memories of my first born. I will lift up every day to ensure that he is never forgotten. I encourage you to have faith in knowing that God is in control, never giving us more than we can handle. A vital part of John's life was his faith. In the last email we received from him, he asked for prayer for his safety and that of all the troops. He knew the danger they were entering into as they participated in Operation Steel Curtain and turned to his faith for the courage he needed. Through the sacrifice of our Lord, we are comforted to know that, as 2 Corinthians 5:8 tells us, he is "present with the Lord." Our family and friends have united in prayer, asking that Christ's love and grace surround us, bringing comfort in this time of unbelievable sorrow. We also pray for our troops here and around the world, fighting for the freedoms that we all embrace. We honor John's beautiful life, his sacrifice, and his proud service as a United States Marine. These words are written from the bottom of my heart, in fond and loving memory of my son, JT. ---Kristine Mason

Kristine speaks with the moral authority lacking in so many who criticize why this country sends its best and brightest young men to defend the cause of freedom on distant shores. The Marine Hymn, engraved in the hearts and minds of each of these young men and women, contains these verses:
There is no doubt that LCpl Lucente, who gave his life in the pursuit of freedom and liberty in the streets of Iraq, is now guarding the streets of heaven with his brother Marines. Kudos to Kristine for reaching out of her grief to support and encourage other Marine parents, and to ensure that John's name will never be forgotten by his family, his Marine brothers, or by the rest of us who owe so much to the heroes of the Corps.

Posted by Deb at 10:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 19, 2005

Door Dreams

Rose, another Marine Mom sent this along - her company has an annual office door decorating contest and this was her entry. The Scrooges that judged the contest gave first place to another entry (a black door with a red balloon, captioned "Rudolph at night") but this one captured my heart.

Posted by Deb at 10:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 25, 2005

LCpl Tyler Troyer - Another American Hero

Each loss of one of our troops is hard. This one is personal. LCpl Tyler Troyer went through grade school and junior high with my son, LCpl Shane Conrad. He and Shane knew just how to push it . . . and when to stop. If I got a call from the South Shore Elementary principal during 2nd or 3rd grade, I could be fairly sure that Tyler's name would come up too. At Shane's 3rd grade birthday sleepover, Tyler and Shane were not happy that I wouldn't let them camp outside (in January!) so they built a tent under an antique table, sending the table and everything on it crashing down on the floor. But, they apologized and fixed it.

They played baseball on opposing teams in high school - Tyler wearing the blue and gold of West Albany, Shane wearing red and gray to represent South Albany. But, after high school, they both wore the same uniform - that of the United States Marine Corps.

And, although they broke things in Iraq, they worked on fixing things too. LCpl Troyer, along with the other 2/2 Marines with whom he served, was no better friend to the citizens of Iraq.

Last week, a sniper took the life of LCpl Tyler Troyer as he provided security in the Kharma AO.

While home on leave last summer, my son went to Tyler's pre-deployment party. Now, he has gotten permission from his 1/7 command to extend his Thanksgiving leave so that he can be there for his funeral. He's hoping to serve as pallbearer at Tyler's memorial services next Wednesday - his final tribute to a Marine of honor and a friend who was as close as a brother.

I will pass along condolences to Tyler's family. If you want to send a note, e-mail me at deb@marinecorpsmoms.com. I will print out each note and deliver it to his parents.

Cards can be mailed to:

Posted by Deb at 11:41 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 09, 2005

Connie and Deb - live on MSNBC

We'll be on tomorrow morning, November 10 between 9:30 and 10:00 PST, promoting Operation Santa. See you there!

Posted by Deb at 04:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 27, 2005

Early morning phone call

The phone rang this morning just as I was heading out the door with the dog for her morning walk. I like to walk and talk - it gives me something to do as Harley sniffs every other blade of grass. Other dogs frequent this same strip of grass, they leave pee-mail for each other . . . and my dog replies to each message. Sometimes, I wonder how one small dog can hold so much.

Back to the phone call. It was my son - after we caught up on the details of our separate lives, he told me he was putting in his reenlistment package. He just passed the three-year mark in his first enlistment and we've had a number of phone conversations to discuss various options for the rest of his life. But it sounds like his mind is made up.

I am so proud of the man he has become.

Posted by Deb at 11:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 16, 2005

Congratulations to new Marine Pvt. Bradley Townsend

Carolyn Lightfoot, a brand new Marine mom as of last Friday, shares her experience at MCRD graduation:

I arrived bright and early at MCRD San Diego - planning on going and having the breakfast buffet. According to the schedule, the first event - the Motivational Run was scheduled to begin at 9:30 A.M. I figured I would have a couple hours to sit down and eat breakfast. When I pulled into the parking lot, I saw a bunch of Marines out on what I found out to be the Parade Deck. There was a bunch of people standing at the edge watching them. I walked up and asked what was going on. I found out it was my son's Platoon (along with several other Platoons) practicing for the Graduation Ceremony to be held the next day! Needless to say I never made it to breakfast! In fact, I didn't leave that curb for the next 1-1/2 hours! All the young men marching in perfect order mesmerized me. Furthermore, I was trying my best to spot my son out of the 553 other young men! Eventually I finally pealed myself away because another mother asked me if I had purchased his coin for his graduating class. I had no idea what she was talking about but quickly made my way to a waiting line of about 75 other parents! Unfortunately they had run out of the coins while I waited patiently in line! (Luckily I found out a little later that the Museum's gift shop also sold them and I was lucky enough to buy the last two!). At about 9:30 A.M. I went and stood along the road where my son's Platoon would line up for their Motivational Run. All of a sudden all the Platoons appeared and my son's group stopped right in front of me (and about 75 other parents!). Believe it or not I couldn't even pick out my son!! He had changed so much over the 13 weeks since he went to San Diego. I was finally able to locate him about the time they had them turn and start running off! I couldn't believe I was standing right in front of him! After they left for their 4-mile run, I made my way over in front of the Theater because that is where the run would end and the Platoons would line up in front of the Theater. After about 30 minutes they all ran back and fell in line right in front of us! This Motivational Run was something I am so glad that I didn't miss! I could tell that it was also a very emotional run for all of the recruits. Once the boys left to get changed for the Emblem Ceremony, they had us go inside the Theater for the Drill Instructors introduction and also a short movie that outlined how the Marines got started, etc. At approximately 11:00 we went out to the bleachers on the Parade Deck and waited for our boys to come and line up for the Emblem Ceremony! I must say, I believe this Ceremony was more emotional for the recruits then their actual graduation! This is where the Drill Instructors actually pin each and every recruit making them a U.S. Marine! It was incredible! I watched my son and he was biting his lower lip trying his best not to cry! I know for him to have been doing this, it was a real release that he was finally a U.S. Marine and no longer a recruit. After the Ceremony our boys were released for Liberty for the afternoon! I ran from my seat and hugged him like I hadn't seen him in years! It was incredible!! I just feel really bad for all the family that didn't go for the Visitation Day! I still believe that this day was more emotional and informative then the actual Graduation Day! But, where do I begin to talk about Graduation Day! It too was an incredible ceremony! My husband who is retired from the U.S. Navy told me that the Marine Corp. Graduation is the best. He is right!! Everything was done perfectly! I am so glad that I was able to see my son graduate! This is one of those events in my son's life that I would never have wanted to miss. I must say now, my feelings about my son have changed. I now realize he is a Man! He is a United States Marine! I can also say that I am so worried about him! In fact, the reason I am writing this is because my husband found this website because he knows that I am going to desperately need a support group to get me through the next four years! I pretty much know (although my son doesn't have his orders yet) he is probably headed over seas! I am dreading this more then you can imagine. The only thing that is getting me through the past couple days (since leaving my son in San Diego) is knowing that there are a lot of other Marines out there and there are their mothers who have been through this. I am hoping and praying that he will be safe! I have never prayed more then I have over the past several days! I just hope that there will be support groups available for me and then I will be able to help other Mothers whose sons will be going through what Brad just went through! I can only pray for the war in Iraq to end soon and all of our sons and daughters will be able to come home - safe!

Amen. This is the prayer of Marine parents everywhere. And we hope to launch a discussion board on this site very soon to provide an online spot for all Marine parents and families to share the support that Carolyn mentioned. We have the structure worked out and just need a few good Marine parents to help out with leading discussions and monitoring posts. It will serve as a SPAM proof place to discuss the stories posted here, as well as provide an online place for parents to connect with each, share their stories, and give and receive the type of support that only other Marine parents can understand and provide.

Posted by Deb at 02:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 08, 2005

What we did on our summer vacation

The past two months have been a blur of activity - and we haven't been here as much as we'd like to be. I've been busy in the classroom - at one point I had ten different classes and spent my days grading instead of online. Connie is moved into her new house and busy with painting and yard work. However, we found time to connect earlier this summer when both our sons were finally in town at the same time. Here we are with LCpl Shane Conrad and Cpl Bill Riecke:

We're back now - tanned, rested, and ready to go again. Operation Santa USMC 2005 is ready to launch. Last year with the help of amazing volunteers all over the country, we sent over 6,000 individual Christmas stockings to our deployed Marines. This year, we'd love to cover all deployed Marines and we can do that with your help. Watch this site for updates - we'll post a summary of what we've got planned in the next day or two.

Posted by Deb at 09:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 29, 2005

Kansas City, here I come

The song by Big Joe Royal has been stuck in my mind for the past few days and I'm on my way. Currently, I'm sitting in the Phoenix Airport waiting for my connecting flight that will take me to the Marine Parents United Convention this weekend. Marcia, Angie, Cathy and the rest of the board have been working hard to make this event happen and I can't wait to see what they have in store.

Tomorrow morning, I'll present Operation Santa USMC 2005 to a number of interested Marine Parents. This officially launches our second holiday outreach - last year volunteers all over the country worked together to make the holidays merrier for over 6,000 deployed Marines. We'll have more on this soon - watch for the launch of the Marine Corps Family Foundation website. I have a Power Point presentation ready . . . but no screen in the meeting room and no projector, so I spent last evening getting acquainted with the fine folks at Kinko's who helped me print out copies of my slides for a poster presentation.

Adam Marshall, former Marine who is launching a very successful singing career will be returning this year. His new CD is out - visit your local Sam Goody's music store and pick up one or more than one. You won't be disappointed - he has real talent and knows how to work a crowd of Marine Corps Moms.

I'll have more pictures later, but here's my favorite from last year:

From left to right, Marine Corps Moms Connie, Linda, Janise, and Deb.

Linda Kelly, another Marine Mom whom we met last year and quickly became a friend has worked tirelessly to put together a DVD tribute to our nation's fallen heroes. She is a tremendously talented graphic artist and I can't wait to see what she's created. The title of this project is Operation Never Forgotten and it is also a Marine Corps Family Foundation project.

I'll be posting from the conference - stay tuned for news and events. Connie and Janise have other plans this weekend and cannot attend.

Posted by Deb at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 24, 2005

Sending a son to war

More than one Marine parent has had a well-meaning friend tell them, upon learning that a child was leaving for the sandbox, "I know how you feel, my son/daughter is leaving for college soon." And more than one Marine parent has held their tongue, knowing that there is no comparison between the two events. Here's a snippet of a sermon from a father, Rev. Charles Rush from Christ Church in Summit NJ, who has done both:

It is a strange thing that your child can be on the front lines, scouting the mountains of Afghanistan for Al Qaeda but still able to call you on your cell phone at the beach. But that is precisely what he did a month earlier from a satellite phone, the reception so clear, it sounded like he was right down the road. He was calling to tell his mother that he had secured leave, would be coming home, and he wanted to get married. The marriage part was not a complete surprise but we only had two weeks to prepare for the big event. . . My son and his fiancee flew from Kandahar to Uzbekistan to Kuwait City and then to Frankfurt where they were on standby and were the last two people on the plane to Newark. The pilot on the plane announced to the passengers that they were on leave from Afghanistan and coming home to get married. They were easy for the other passengers to spot since they were in their fatigues, the only clothes they are allowed to wear on active duty. When they got on the plane the passengers stood up and applauded. I picked them up at the airport, more than a little choked up to see them still in uniform, needing a shower from the long journey. Unlike our college kids who can fill a Chevy Suburban and then some, all the gear they needed -- almost all the gear my son has -- was packed in two Army issue backpacks. My son hugged me. He is strong now, very strong, and able to sleep anywhere at any time. We put together a slide show of their childhoods for the rehearsal dinner. It was a delightful review of just what outdoor people both of them are, filled with the laughter that brothers and sisters poke at one another at shared memories. In the middle of the show I had a moment of emotional weakness, remembering a similar slide show that someone put together for a funeral I had recently attended. Anxiety in the face of death hovers around family members of those in active duty. Sometimes you try to banish it from consciousness as though reflecting on it might bring bad luck. Sometimes you try to bargain with it, hoping to control what is not controllable. But it is always there and it is deeply fearful. I never want to pass old photos around and talk about how great my son was when he was alive. And the only thing I think we can do that is spiritually productive with this anxiety is to continue to celebrate the wonder and goodness of life in the midst of it. What better place to do that than a wedding. . . We had to have the reception at our house as my son is just shy of 21. He is old enough to die for his country and old enough to father children legally, but he is not old enough to buy a beer. Not only did his friends come, their parents came too, families that had grown up together. It was probably the first time that some of these parents had actually attended a party with their children -- rather than chase them down trying to put the party out… What a delight to see 50-something women dancing with 20-year-old boys. It was festive and the young people behaved with decorum. But at one point, I did notice one of our junior's doing a handstand on the keg, drinking beer upside down. 20-year-olds do things like that. I couldn't help but think for a moment of Lyndie England and a number of other 20 year old enlisted soldiers that made incredibly poor judgments that embarrassed our country. I couldn't help but think what Colonel's must think every month, without in th least excusing their behavior, the fact is that 20 year olds are capable of astonishingly poor judgment. With the demanding and stressful responsibilities that we place on our 20-year-old soldiers, I am amazed that so little poor judgment takes place overseas. Poor judgment is a daily routine at fraternity houses across the country and most every one of us here can conjure up an image of late night debauchery that got out of control, often fueled by alcohol or other substances, that seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time. Our soldiers in Afghanistan are on a dry deployment -- no alcohol is available in country for the entire year or more of their tour of duty. They don't have access to money -- just a credit card that can be used at the base --and there is precious little entertainment even if you had cash. They are never off duty, just occasionally back at the barracks. Often their missions in the field go on for weeks at a time. During much of this, they have to interact in a friendly manner with villagers that they are not sure are friend or foe. They have to be friendly but also careful. Throughout all of this, they are the front line ambassadors of our country. That is a lot to ask from a young person. My son has learned a surprising amount about Afghanistan in a short time. I was glad to hear that soldiers regularly dig wells with pumps as many villages have no safe drinking water. I was glad to hear that they set up medical clinics and dispense medicine. You don't read about how the military tries to address the local needs of the villagers. He showed me some photos that he had taken of remote villages in the mountains. He is very realistic about the limits of what is possible in a country so remote, with villagers that have been content with their way of life for the past several centuries and don't see any real need to develop. He understands that Afghani's are wary of Americans but he says they are more skittish of the Taliban; and he notes that even if we suddenly left and the Taliban and Al Qaeda left as well, it is not as if serenity would suddenly breakout in country because there is constant infighting among the clans. This has been their way of life for longer than anyone can remember. He understands the complexity of the ground and the ambiguity of trying to bring democracy and American values to their country. © 2004 Rev Charles T Rush, Summit NJ. All rights reserved.

There's more. Read it here:
www.ccsnj.org/Sermons-2004/041003-SendingMySonBack.html

Posted by Deb at 03:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 26, 2005

Call him JarheadGrandpa now

JarheadDad, proud father of a twice deployed United States Marine sends some wonderful news:

". . . I have become a granddad! Woo-Hoo! Little Hailey Jean was born last Saturday and weighed in at 6lbs 11ozs. What a beautiful baby if I do say so myself! HA! I really didn't know how I would feel about being a grandparent. Some folks say it makes you feel old. I don't know about them but I'm feeling younger every day! Holding that precious little girl does wonders for the mind, heart, and soul!"

	Watt sent a disclaimer that he and the new Grandma hadn't slept in 36 hours, but they look great!
"Beau is our oldest and Hailey belongs to he and his wife, Amanda. I haven't decided whether I'll let them keep her or not yet! :-o"
	Here's JarheadSister, now AKA Aunt Elizabeth.

Congratulations to the entire JarheadFamily!

Posted by Deb at 08:13 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 08, 2005

Anniversaries

"Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived, and how he died that distinguishes one man from another." -Ernest Hemingway

As families, we celebrate birthdays by looking back at the past year and forward to to the next one. From the time that a child is born, his or her life is filled with promise but some lives are shorter than others. For the families of fallen heroes, there is another anniversary each year, one that is both a source of terrible pain and terrific pride. They celebrate the all-too-short life of their hero while wondering what might have been if they had returned from the fight. And beyond everything, they want and need to know that the world will never forget the sacrifice made.

When Sgt. Allan Walker was killed last year on April 6 in the Al anbar province of Iraq, his best friend SSgt Scott McLaughlin, wrote a beautiful tribute that gave the rest of us a glimpse of the man and Marine Sgt Walker was. Two days ago, SSgt McLaughlin left a comment that it was the one year anniversary of Sgt. Allan Walker's death in Iraq. He will never forget and through his words, we will never forget Sgt. Walker either.

In the same accident that took Sgt. Walker, HM3 Fernando Mendez-Aceves fell while treating Sgt. Walker's wounds. His bravery was noted in a subsequent speech by LtGeneral Gregson and will never be forgotten by his family,the men he served with or those who read tributes to his bravery.

Cpl Nicholas J. Dieruf, 1st LAR, died one year ago today while serving in the al Anbar province of Iraq. Just before he redeployed, he married Emily and they had dreams of a long and happy life together. That was not to be. However, his wife and family have turned their grief into a positive force for helping other families. They've created the Corporal Nich Dieruf Memorial Fund which benefits military families throughout the world by providing assistance and support to the families who give much so that we can live in freedom. It's a wonderful effort and very worthy of your support.

Another family finding solace in helping others is that of LCpl Brad Shuder who was killed in combat last April 9 in Fallujah. They'll use donated funds to help 2/1 Marines with the wounds of war - both physical and emotional. And they're reaching out to other families. "I just hope the families have support - people around them when they need them," Brad's mother, Rosemary Shuder, said in a recent interview. "The grieving process is excruciating."

Mike and Molly Morel lost their son, Capt Brent Morel, last April 7. Molly described Brent's death as "the end of half my dreams for the future." Regardless, both parents are reaching out to other families of fallen Marines as a coping mechanism to deal with their own grief. And they need that same support just as much.

As these anniversaries approach, it's hard to know what to say. But it's essential to say it anyway. The knowledge that a beloved son, daughter, husband, wife, mother or father is remembered as the hero that they were is a tremendous comfort. And written memories help. Write down your recollections and send it along. If you didn't know them personally, express your appreciation for the service and sacrifice. Do it. Just do it. If it's hard for you, think about how much harder it is for the families who are thinking back to that knock on the door. And then do it anyway.

Posted by Deb at 12:58 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 03, 2005

Post-deployment homecoming

The Marine is my son, LCpl Shane Conrad who arrived in Oregon yesterday afternoon for his post-deployment leave. The first thing he did was smell the air - it had been raining and "smelled like home". Next, we stopped at a shopping mall to buy a new snowboard and all the gear to go with it. He missed last season and is looking forward to hitting the slopes with his dad next week. And the bars at night - he is making up for 7 months of life in the wild, wild west of Iraq.

He was afraid his dog wouldn't remember him. When he walked into the kitchen and stood in front of her crate, all she could see was his feet. Suddenly, we heard a thumpthumpthump from her tail on the sides of the crate and when I opened the door, she launched herself straight into his arms. Good thing she only weighs 12 pounds.

We stopped by his grandparents home for a brief hug and hello, then he dropped me at home and was off with his friends to test out being 21 and of legal drinking age. There will be more of that - Jarhead Dad has warned me and I am learning to be the mom of an adult who has seen much, done more than most, and returned to be my hero for all time. So far, I've mostly kept my mouth shut except for frequent "Be careful" comments. I'm a mom, it's still my job.

Three weeks will go by all too fast. I'm savoring every moment.

Posted by Deb at 08:48 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

March 27, 2005

Gold Star Mothers celebrate Easter

As we celebrate the resurrection of Christ this Easter, knowing that there is everlasting life is a blessing for mothers of fallen Marines. A few weeks ago, Sharon Rosnick talked with a few of them:

As Easter approaches, the resurrection message is even more special this year for Sharon Westbrook. "I know I will see him again," she said. "The wait will just be a little longer." The him she is talking about is her son, Pfc. Jason Poindexter, a Camp Pendleton Marine who was killed in Iraq on Sept. 12, 2004. He had been a Marine for only nine months, and in Iraq for only seven days, when he died. "His destiny was chosen at birth. I miss him but I don't have any tears of regret," says Westbrook, who lives in San Angelo, Texas. "He was a goofy kid that loved life, and his death has brought me a faith in mankind I never had before." In Southern California, Mercedes Butts of Granada Hills approaches the March 27 Christian holiday with a strange peace. She plans to spend some time on Easter Sunday at the National Cemetery in Los Angeles. There, her two sons, 20-year-old Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Alan, and his 13-year-old brother, Mark Alan, are buried side by side despite the cemetery's initial refusal to do so. A crusade by the Marine Corps and scores of Marine Moms stifled protocol so the siblings could keep the promise they made to each other to be Semper Fidelis – always faithful. "I have no doubt in my mind the two of them are together," she said. "And I have no doubt Matthew went first so he could welcome his little brother home."

Read the rest here.

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Back home

I returned to Oregon last night after an all-too-short visit to my son who returned from Iraq last Saturday. The Marines are enjoying a 96-hour liberty with their family and friends. Please keep LCpl Jonnie Seeley in your prayers. He bought a new truck with the money he'd earned during his deployment with 1/7 Baker Company in Husaybah and stopped by his mom's house in Arizona to show it to her, then left to return to base. En route, he had an accident and is in a Nevada hospital with serious injuries. I gave a ride off base to LCpl Seeley and a friend last Saturday night after the guys returned. They were so happy to be back home and in civilian clothes once again. The last thing I told them was, "Be careful". My heart aches for him and his family.

Posted by Deb at 07:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

More on the Salem-Keizer School District

Connie still has not heard from the school district regarding her letter protesting their decision to eliminate the weapon from the hands of her son, via Photoshop wizardry, in order to display the picture in her daughter Shea's freshman social studies classroom. The story ran as an editorial in the Salem Statesman journal last week, and was followed up with another editorial on Friday.

Here is Connie's second letter - this time to Communications Coordinator, Simona Boucek.

Ms. Boucek, I invite you to contact me regarding the picture you commented about in the article in Friday's Statesman Journal. You stated that the picture "does not necessarily convey military service" and "soldiers are pictured casually in a nondescript room". I would like to address those statements and also share with you our website that provides daily information about Marines stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan, www.marinecorpsmoms.com. First US Marines are not soldiers, they are Marines. Second, what does "convey military service" mean? A Marine recruiter wears a dress uniform, either blue or green and I'm sure you think that is an appropriate attire for a recruiter. Marines in the infantry however very seldom where a dress uniform. They wear cami's while deployed, nothing but cami's and while in a war zone they are NEVER without a gun. My son's job is to protect and secure the freedom of us all and for the people in Iraq. His job is not pretty and it makes many of us very uncomfortable to discuss. And maybe that is the reason this topic is so appropriate for a high school social studies class. It might be beneficial for you to research the many military branches of service and their role in the current events of the Iraq war in order to address this topic knowledgably. No matter what job you have in the Marines, you are trained for combat first and foremost. I'm sure many of our high school graduates will be embarking on this career path and it would be beneficial for them to know the facts. And, third. The "Marines" are pictured in a tent inwhich they lived in for over seven months in a Marine camp on the Syrian border. You will not read much about this camp or city (Huysabah) because it is so dangerous that the media is not allowed there. They are not in complete uniform because its a mere 130 degrees. I personally have never been in an area of 130 degrees, but I tend to believe that I would probably want to undress as much as possible to provide some comfort during my brief "off" time (which is a few hours each day). The air conditioner in the back of the photo ran only when there was enough electricity, provided by a small generator and from what I'm told that was basically never. Although a very good thought. It IS a camp of tents and Marines are stationed their today. There is very little comfort, food is only provided through MRE's (meals ready to eat), showers happen approximately every three to four days to conserve water and energy, so you can imagine that washing your uniform does not happen often. My son was a vehicle commander for CAAT Blue which is an emergency response team. He patrolled the streets of the city of Huysabah daily and was attacked by insurgents daily. He lost four vehicles during his seven month deployment during heavy combat, but most importantly he is very proud that he did not lose one man. As the communications coordinator of our school district I find it offensive that you have not contacted me to share the districts decision regarding the picture in question. In fact not one representative from the school or district has made contact with me or with my daughter, the freshman student attending McKay High school. I could have shed some light on issues that you used in your statement. In the educational arena we look for new ways to stimulate and spring board discussion on various topics, especially in regards to community, national and world events. What more appropriate place than a social studies classroom? This could have been just the beginning of a very stimulating and educational event within our schools. Shea is not alone, there are many other students who are living the daily events of a family member at war. For instance, just today the Oregon National Guard welcomed home the 2nd Battalion, 162nd Infantry. As a parent and educator I would only hope that our schools would embrace such an opportunity to stimulate our young adults, to embrace those who are touched by this war and to lend support and understanding of their family situation. And, it just may be the most rewarding experience in education for many of the high school students attending that social studies class. Connie Riecke Proud Mom of Bill, Sarah and Shea

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March 21, 2005

He's home

At 11:46 p.m. on Saturday, my son stepped off the bus that brought him and 219 other 1/7 Baker Company Marines home from Husaybah. Hundreds of families were gathered, anxiously waiting through the last few minutes of a deployment that began last August. Other families could not attend and a few Official Huggers were on hand to welcome home the Marines who had no one waiting. As the busses drew closer, announcements were made and cheers rang out. Finally, they were through the front gates, weapons delivered to the armory, back on the busses to Wrigley field, and pouring down the steps into the arms of waiting family members. The waiting was over. Our hearts were full and tears were flowing.

I will have more pictures as soon as I retrieve my camera from my son's barracks room and find a faster internet connection. Today, 1/7 reports for formation and then will be released for a well earned liberty. Shane and I are heading to Las Vegas - the antithesis of the place he's spent the last seven months.

Posted by Deb at 06:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 18, 2005

Waiting!

1/7 families are gathering in 29 Palms, waiting for Marines to come home. It's a happy time, although we are thinking and praying for the families of those fallen heroes who have come home for the last time. I am staying with the family of LCpl Richard Ramos who serves with my son and we're trading stories about our Marines and sharing ideas on how to make this homecoming memorable. Richard's mom, Anita, and I have supported each other through the last seven months - there is no one who understands like another Marine parent. Also here are Richard's Aunt Jan and Uncle Alex who were strong supporters of Operation Santa. Jan sent Christmas to 256 Marines last Christmas - one of the biggest individual efforts. Alex fixed a wonderful St. Patrick's day dinner last night - corned beef brisket, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots. We were all Irish last night. And now, he's getting ready to BBQ tonight. Gotta love a man who cooks.

In a few minutes, Anita, Jan and I will leave for the base on an early recon mission. We'll hang banners on the fences welcoming our warriors home from a very long seven months. Tomorrow, our sons come home. I am overwhelmed with emotion right now - and thankful for his battalion leadership that trained these Marines so well.

Updating the website is by chance - I'm using my cell phone as a modem and it's very slow. I'm not sure if I'll be able to upload pictures until I can get to a faster connection. I'll keep the posts coming though!

Posted by Deb at 10:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 15, 2005

Zero tolerance? Let 'em know what you think

My 15 year old daughter, Shea, out of sheer pride, took a picture of her brother to her high school to share with a teacher. Her brother, Bill, also a graduate of Douglas McKay High School in Salem, Oregon, is a US Marine and a decorated veteran of the Iraq war. He has been deployed twice and will be returning this summer for his 3rd deployment to Iraq. Shea has had the unique experience of supporting her brother during his deployments and the true realization of what war means to the families of our Marines and soldiers in harms way.

Shea, a freshman at McKay, has become acquainted with one of her teachers that her brother also had while in school. Mr. Costa is a social studies teacher and football coach. Bill being a football star while in school and lettering all four years is well remembered by Mr. Costa. Mr. Costa has several pictures of McKay graduates hung in his classroom and Shea asked that if she brought a picture of Bill would he also hang it with the others. He of course said yes.

Shea proudly printed a picture of her brother and took it to school. The picture she selected is of her brother in Iraq, in combat uniform and holding a gun. Just, a typical picture of a Marine at work in a war zone. Mr. Costa asked the school administration for permission to hang the picture due to the graphic nature of the picture. He was denied, based on the fact that a gun is included in the picture. From there I’m told it was taken to the Salem-Keizer Administrative offices and it was scanned and the gun removed in order for it meet the guidelines of political correctness.

I wrote the following to the School District Administrator and have not had a response.

Ms. Baker, My daughter is Shea Riecke, a freshman at McKay High School. She is my third child to attend McKay High School. My son Bill and daughter Sarah were also graduates of McKay. I am writing to you to share with you a concern that Shea has voiced to me regarding school administration policy. Shea gave Mr. Costa (one of her teachers), a picture of her brother to hang along with other McKay graduates in his classroom. Shea is extremely proud of her brother and the profession that he has chosen and she was happy that Mr. Costa recognized the accomplishments that Bill has made. He is a US Marine and a decorated veteran of the Iraq war. The picture depicts Bill in Iraq in combat uniform with other members of his unit, and carrying a gun. School administration denied Mr. Costa's request to hang the picture. From what I understand the picture is being scanned and the gun removed and will be returned to Mr. Costa to hang in his classroom. Although, I understand the need to "shelter" our kids from horrific events in our community and world in regards to dangerous and illegal activities, I also see the need to better educate our young adults in realities of todays world and that includes the fact that America is at war in Iraq? The reality is many graduating students, even from McKay High School, will be joining the military as their career choice. I'm sure military recruiters walk the halls of our high schools daily. It is customary to wear their dress blues uniform to conduct such business, but in reality new recruits will be embarking on a very serious and dangerous career and the only uniform they will wear will be desert camis. They will be trained for many jobs but most importantly for combat. Our military strength is very important, especially in todays world, where the war against terrorism is featured in our newspapers daily. And, if I might quote my very heroic son, 'for those kids who join the military I want them to be prepared for reality, they need to know that we are fighting a war here, its serious business. And, everyone who chooses to join the military needs to know how serious it is, we carry guns and we have to use them. Don't hang a picture of me that has been altered and that does not tell the truth.' So, my question to you is, does the Salem Keizer administration truly feel that scanning a picture to remove a gun held by a Marine really help to educate and/or shelter our children in the reality of our country, and of our world? What it does do is devalue the heroic work our very elite military personnel, who everyday give so much to secure our freedom and to fight the war on terrorism, and it does not educate our young adults in the truth. My appreciation to Mr. Costa for "highlighting" McKay graduates and including my son. Connie & Shea Riecke

For many reasons I’m appalled by the behaviors of our educators. I have raised and educated my children to speak and live the truth, to be proud of their country and themselves. Just how far will our society go to blind themselves from the realization that our country is at war and what that means. Is this a revision of history? As young adults graduate from high school I hoped that their education would provide them with the basic knowledge of our world especially today as our Marines and soldiers fight everyday to secure their freedom and the freedom for others. The future stability of our country is only as strong as our future leaders, they need to know the facts, not the propaganda created by our school administration.

If you have an opinion regarding the wisdom of a school district decision to Photoshop the weapon from an active duty Marine's hands, please share it with Salem-Keizer school district administration. Kathryn Baker is the Superintendent of Schools. Her e-mail address is baker_kathryn@salkeiz.k12.or.us. Cynthia Richardson is the principal at McKay High School. Her e-mail address is richardson_cynthia@salkeiz.k12.or.us. And since our comment feature is still broken, if you CC your response to us at info@marinecorpsmoms.com, we'll be happy to print them here.

Posted by at 09:19 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 23, 2005

Planning for homecoming

For some families, the countdown to our Marine's homecoming is almost in single digits. Almost. Others are just starting the adventure, but the focus for each of us is the same - our son, daughter, husband, wife, brother, sister stepping off the bus and into our waiting arms.

The anticipation can overwhelm the reality and it's good to know what to expect. Chaplain Benson with the CSSB-7 has these words of wisdom, primarily for spouses but they apply to parents as well.

Principles to live by in reuniting: Change happens Your Marine or Sailor has changed to a greater or lesser extent. They have been given responsibility and placed in demanding situations in a combat environment. During the past six months, you have also changed. You have been through experiences that have effected you and changed you. The good news is that change doesn’t have to be bad! It may be a positive force in your relationship if you are open to it. It will be easier to reunite if you accept that things may be different. Go slow You may be tempted to want to make up for lost time, but those who have been through this process consistently say it is best to take it slow. Take time to become reacquainted and renew the emotional bonds. This is especially true for those with children. Small children may react with shyness or fear at the return of your Marine or Sailor. Try not to pressure the child to react a certain way, but let your child warm up to your loved one’s return on his or her own time. For spouses, those who have been in your shoes recommend going slow with physical intimacy. Remember that intimate relationships may be awkward at first, and it is wise to tone down your fantasies – reality may be quite different! It is also a good idea to let the person returning set the pace on social and family activities. They may not be ready for a large family reunion right after getting off the plane. Be sure to talk about any planned visits from extended family with your returning Marine or Sailor to make sure you are on the same sheet of music. Communication is the key Talk with each other about your experiences, but avoid the “Who Had It Worse” game. No one wins that one! You each have had challenges and hardships as well as achievements and accomplishments. Communicate openly with your partner and family in healthy ways. Speaking the truth with love is the best way to successfully reunite with your loved one. Use help If you find that you or your Marine or Sailor is struggling with this process, use the help that is available. On base there are Chaplains and Family Service centers that offer a variety of help. If you aren’t near a base, make use of community resources, Veteran Affairs, churches, family and friends. Don’t be afraid to ask for help early instead of letting things get worse. You aren’t alone! You can have a joyful and successful return and reunion with your loved ones! A little thought and discussion can take you a long way. Once again, I want to thank you for your support and efforts to care for your Marine or Sailor in Iraq! Your efforts have made a difference for us! Personally, I would like to say that it has been an honor and privilege to work with the men and women of CSSB7. You can be proud of them and they way they have represented our nation in this place. May God bless you!

When my son came home from OIF1 in October 2003, he had served in a relatively safe place. Najaf was a holy city and the people there loved the Marines. When my son stood guard, men from the city would bring their chairs and sit with the Marines as a show of solidarity and support. When 1/7 left Najaf to return home, citizens lined the streets as the convoy left town. Many wept.

So, when he stepped off the bus, he was happy to be home and his stress level was relatively low. I didn't know what to expect so I didn't make any plans beyond that first hug. After the company had a brief formation and were released to their anxious families, we walked up the hill to his new home in the barracks. The boxes of belongings that he'd left in storage prior to deployment were waiting for him and, like a Marine, he attended to business. Each box was unpacked and his belongings stowed in the available storage space. On the inside flap of each box was a handwritten scrawl, "I love you Mom". As he unpacked, he explained that if he didn't come back, he wanted me to know that. And, he didn't understand why I cried. I still have those pieces of cardboard - they're in his baby book with tiny inked footprints and a lock of hair from his first haircut.

After he'd finished his on base business, he told me he'd like to visit Los Angeles, so we headed west. When we hit the city limits, it was after midnight and we found the nearest In-N-Out Burger - there's nothing like that in Iraq. The reverse culture shock was significant; we walked in at the same time a performing group tour bus pulled in. Shane looked at the musicians spilling from the bus - blue hair, amazing clothes, rapping and clapping - and muttered, "I want to go back to Iraq".

Over the next few days, he adjusted to his return home. Having choices was a novelty. I learned very quickly that when we went into a restaurant that he would order everything that he'd missed while deployed, but eat just a few bites. Not a problem. It was good to see him satisfied and I didn't order for myself - instead, I ate what he couldn't. He thought he might like to go to Disneyland, so we checked into a hotel across the street from the main gate. Although we walked around the Downtown Disney part, we didn't go in the parks. Choices. He had spent the last seven months following a very regimented lifestyle. Now, he was home and the variety of options was disorienting. So, he set the pace and by the end of three days, he was somewhat back to normal.

This time will be different. His company has been in a volatile area for seven months and they've seen significant action. Again, I'm not making any plans past that first hug - he'll set the pace and I'll accomodate him. He thinks he wants to go to Vegas and I'm looking forward to that 220 mile drive. 4 hours of reconnecting as a family is going to be a very short trip.

Posted by Deb at 01:11 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

February 21, 2005

Connected to the Marine Corps Family

Connie and I will be guests on the new MSNBC show, Connected: Coast to Coast today, talking about how we cope with our sons' deployments and how we support other Marine Corps parents through our website and blog. Please tune in, then come back and give us a thumb's up or thumb's down!

Posted by Deb at 01:32 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

February 19, 2005

Family Ties

I started grading assignments at 8:00 this morning and finished at 9:00 tonight. My only break was a 2 hour phone conference this afternoon with two students who needed me to walk them - again - through the intricacies of how to set up and test research hypotheses. I love teaching but the neverending pile of ungraded papers caught up with me today and I'm tired. Usually, I'd perk right up with a bag of M&Ms but not tonight - first day of induction on Atkins and I'm going through sugar withdrawal. I've been working on a 60th anniversary of Iwo Jima post and didn't get it done for today. Reading about what the Marines on that beach went through is awe-inspiring. And it hits close to home, bringing a realization of just how petty my minor gripes are.

One of the highlights of our family life was twin uncles (by marriage but once I met them, I claimed them as blood relatives), Mack and Mike Hensley. They were inseparable - never married, lived all their lives as Oregon bachelor uncles. They graduated from high school together, joined the Marines on the same day, graduated from boot camp (the first graduating class at MCRD-SD), and went off to war together. They fought together during WWII, sharing a fighting hole at Guam. Mike was injured and sent home to recuperate, Mack stayed.

After WWII, the brothers went to work for an Oregon lumber company on the same day and retired on the same day many years later. When I had my son on January 14, 1984, they were his first visitors when he was just a few hours old, bringing a box of Whitman's Chocolates and charming the nurses. Every few months, they'd take us out to dinner, flirting with me and bantering with Shane. They loved him and were so proud when he left for boot camp.

When Mack died a couple of years ago, I learned at his funeral that he went on from Guam to Iwo Jima where he took part in that epic battle. One of my deep regrets is that I didn't ask more questions while he was still living. Mike lived a few more months but his twin was gone and part of his spirit died that day. I knew them for 20 years but it wasn't enough. They were good men, but that is common to the Corps. I've been thinking of them both today and hoping their memory will never be forgotten. I know that Mack and Mike went to war to protect their loved ones at home. 60 years later, a new generation of young Marines is doing the same thing.

Semper Fidelis. It's a way of life. Thank you, to all our former and present Marines who have sacrificed their own comfort and security so that we can enjoy life without putting overmuch thought into those sacrifices. It's not a small thing. I've worked 13 hours today; they fought from the same hole in the ground for weeks, knowing that the slightest mistake could mean death. I miss my carbs, they ate K rations for months. No comparison. Absolutely no comparison.

Posted by Deb at 11:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 17, 2005

A MasterCard commercial gone wrong

$ 300.00- digital camera sent at time of deployment
$ 400.00 - printer and additional digital camera sent during deployment
$1300.00 - laptop computer, software, card reader, and blank CDs sent during deployment

Receiving the first picture e-mailed from the sandbox after six months of waiting . . . and realizing that your son is standing in an Iraqi jail cell in his underwear, holding a weapon, and smoking a cigarette. Priceless.

Posted by Deb at 06:13 PM | Comments (8)

February 09, 2005

They are so damn young

When 1/8 Marines arrived back in Kuwait prior to returning home after their second deployment in Iraq, USN CDR Kurt Storey, son of a former VietNam POW USAF LTC Thomas G. Storey, was there. Here's his e-mail relating that experience:

I was going to the gym tonight ( really just a huge tent with weights and treadmills), and we had heard that one of the MEUs (Marine Exp Units) that had come out of service in the "triangle" was reploying (leaving country). We saw their convoy roll in to the Kuwait Naval Base as the desert sun was setting. I have never seen anything like this. Trucks and humvees that looked like they had just come through a shredder. Their equipment was full of shrapnel blast holes, and missing entire major pieces that you could tell had been blasted by IEDs. These kids looked bad too! I mean, sunken eyes, thin as rails, and that 1000 yd stare they talk about after direct combat. Made me pretty damn embarrassed to be a "rear area warrior". All people could do was stop in their tracks and stare... and feel like me...like I wanted to bow my head in reverence. A Marine Captain stationed with me, was standing next to me also headed to the gym. He said, "part of 1st Brigade Combat Team, 8th Marines sir. Took the heaviest losses of any single unit up north as part of Task Force Danger, sir." As the convoy rolled up, all of us watching just slowly crept toward these kids as they dismounted the hummers and 5 tons. Of course, we were all shiny and clean compared to these warriors. This kids looked like they had just crawled from Iraq. I had my security badge and id around my neck, and started to help them unload some of their duffle bags. A crusty Gunny came up to me and said "sir, you don?t have to do that..." "Gunny... yes I do..." They all looked like they were in high school, or younger!! All held themselves sharply and confident, despite the extreme fatigue you could tell they had endured. "You guys out of the triangle?" I asked. "Yes, sir. 14 months, and twice into the grinder sir" (both fights for Fallujah). All I could do was throw my arm around their shoulders and say "thanks Marine, for taking the fight to the bad guys...we love you man". I looked at these young kids, not one of them complaining or showing signs of anything but focus, and good humor. "Sir, they got ice cream at the DFAC sir?" "I haven't had real ice cream since we got here..." They continued to unload... and after I had done my hand shakes and shoulder hugs, the Captain and I looked at each other... They want ice cream, we'll get them ice cream. You see a squid O-5 and a focused Marine O-3 can get just about anything, even if the mess is closed. Needless to say, we raided the closed DFAC (mess tent), much to the chagrin of one very pissed off Mess SGT. and grabbed boxes of ice cream sandwiches (as many as we could carry), and hustled back to the convoy. I felt like Santa Claus. "Thank you sir.." again and again from each troop as we tossed up the bars to the guys in the trucks. "Son, what the hell are you thanking me for...? I can't thank you enough..." and they are so damn young.... I will sleep well knowing they are watching my back tonight....

1/8 is now back at Camp LeJeune.

Posted by Deb at 05:52 PM | Comments (6)

February 07, 2005

Constant attacks need constant prayer

I've mentioned before that there isn't a lot of news coming from Husaybah, current home to 1/7 Baker Company. There's a reason for that. Even though it's one of the hottest spots in Iraq - and has been for months - there are no embedded reporters. Tim Perry with the L.A. Times recently visited Al Qaim, home base for the rest of 1/7. Here's a snippet from his interview with 1/7 battalion commander, LtCol Chris Woodbridge:

Woodbridge said the Marine camp north of Al Qaim in the town of Husaybah is under such constant attack from rockets and mortars that he takes only essential missions there and has declined to bring in Marine brass for inspection tours.

In a phone conversation yesterday with my son, I asked him about some misinformation I'd received recently about a "fender bender" involving his squad. He said, "I guess you could call it a fender blown all to hell. It blew out the windows in a building 2 kilometers away." Turns out it was a suicide bomber that detonated outside the building his squad was in . . . the engine block landed 300 yards away. No Marines were seriously injured, thank God. He also mentioned, casually mentioned, that he'd had an up close meeting with a sniper's bullet that same week. It smashed into the wall he stood next to, missing him by 4 inches. All in a days work for Marines on the Syrian border.

Thanks to everyone who is praying for him and all our Marines. It's working.

Posted by Deb at 09:52 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

February 03, 2005

Waiting for this day...

Proud Marine Mom Carol Hutchings recently welcomed her son home from the sandbox. She captured so perfectly the emotions that parents experience during redeployment:

The phone call came at 0330hrs to the hotel room, the plane had landed. They were at the airport. Hallelujah!!! Into the SUV (with our bumper sticker- United States Marines) we drove into the darkness with great anticipation. Hurry go faster...the gate waved us through, they knew where we were headed. The darkness hung with us. The excitement began to grow as the families gathered in the big room with the joy and excitement building with each announcement of their movements. Our Marine Homecoming shirts proudly displayed. Sharing hugs with families we did not know. Waiting waiting. Finally, the announcement came the buses are moving. Some of us were drawn outside stretching our necks to see those great buses bring in our loved ones, Our hero's, our Marines. The lights in the darkness were moving toward us, waiting waiting. Our American flags were waving high, the sounds of our cheers echoed into the night, here they come, here they are, in front of us. Our Hero's. The buses stopped and doors opened. Out poured our Hero's.

Hugging, kissing, welcoming our Hero's home, who we prayed for everyday, who we hoped for everyday, they were finally here. Searching for my Marine, looking for that tall figure and that proud walk. Shaking hands, hugging Marines, thanking them all, as I tried to find my Marine. They were dressed in their fatigues worn and faded from the sweat and sun of the Sandbox. Some looked so tired, some so happy to be home. One Marine holding his baby for the first time, was so moving. What joy. The rain came down on us all, but I don't think we even noticed the cold or wet. The tears of joy flowed from our eyes, and there he was standing in front of us, grinning from ear to ear. A site to behold. He had seen the hell of war, and made it home. My son was home, he was safe for now. So proud of my Marine, so filled with overflowing joy, he is a true Marine. He made it home, however, he did not let me fail to remember those who did not make it home. The hugs that I wanted to last forever around his disciplined body, were also for those hugs that would not be felt by some. My heart ached for those families who were not able to feel what I was feeling. My Marine will not forget his brothers that came home with him, and his brothers that did not. War is hell. Thank God for our Marines who did make it home, and I pray for all the families of those who lost loved ones in this war. What a great great homecoming for me. God bless all our United States Marines and their families.

Now, if I can only keep him from driving 100mph in that darn Orange Mustang.

Good luck on that one, Carol

Posted by Deb at 11:01 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 30, 2005

I am a Marine mom and I couldn't be prouder....

Carrie Costantini has added another title to her list - proud Marine Mom to PFC Zack Costantini. That smile in the picture below will bring memories to Marine Moms everywere, including proud Marine grandmother Pat Costantini who is the mother to the other Marine in the picture - Carrie's husband, LtCol William Costantini, who commands the 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion.

On this particular January morning, I was thinking to myself that I had been a Marine wife for 19 years. 19 years of deployments, birthday balls, key volunteers...in other words..seen it, done it, bought the t-shirt. Until that day. The day my son became a Marine. I had butterflies in my stomach. I wondered what Zack would be like after his experiences at MCRD San Diego. Would he still be the same kid that we all called "King Kamehameha"? We stood with all of the other anxious parents in front of the theater. A drill instructor with a microphone had a running patter of do's and don'ts. Frankly, that got on my nerves. It got on my husband's as well. As India company returned and formed up after their motivational run, we scanned the crowd of recruits looking for Zack. We moved to the other side of the theater and I found him. It seemed to take forever for his father to find that face but there it was. Three rows back and two men to the left, my son's face. At last!! A sighting. We still couldn't talk to him. They all had to shower and form up for the presentation of the eagle, globe and anchor pins. After waiting almost 13 weeks to see him, the hour or so that we still had to wait seemed to drag on and on. Finally, they marched out and stood at attention. Well..sort of. Their eyes darted around, trying to find their families. Cameras clicked...parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers all yelling, "I see him!!" As their drill instructors presented the e,g,and a pins, I was thankful for dark glasses and wished I had put kleenex in my purse before leaving the house that morning. The crusty Marine sitting next to me was not much better although he flatly denies it. When their drill instructors finally released them, families surged out of the stands. We were in that crush too. Who cares if I'd been a Marine wife for 19 years???? I was going to hug that kid and nobody but nobody was getting in my way...not even him. He wasn't quite sure what to do when I grabbed him but he put up with it pretty well. I guess that was change number one. The rest of Parents' day was spent trying to keep him fed (I can not believe how much this guy eats...it's almost superhuman) and catching him up with family and neighborhood news and hearing bootcamp stories. Change number two...our usually reticent son talked our ears off...between bites of food, of course. He called me "maam" about five times but then again, he also dropped the f bomb as many times. Changes three and four..and although both of those changes have disappeared, I have no doubt that his stint at SOI will bring them both out again. Oh well... As for graduation day, perhaps I should just let the pictures speak for themselves. God knows I have sent them to everyone I know. I am a Marine mom and I couldn't be prouder....

Posted by Deb at 12:47 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

January 28, 2005

More prayers, more tears, and blessed assurance

Yesterday's helicopter crash that claimed the lives of 30 Marines and one Navy Corpsman marked the largest loss of Marines in a single incident since the Oct. 23, 1983 bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon when 241 U.S. Marines were killed when a explosives-laden truck driven by terrorists crashed through a checkpoint and into the barracks where they slept. Reports from Iraq have said the Marine helicopter was flying in a sandstorm - an unavoidable condition in a war zone.

I have heard from so many anxious parents who are waiting for word of their child's safety. Here are words of wisdom from a proud Marine dad, Tony M. who has endured his share of sleepless nights:

Folks, let me give you a good word ... YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE. In those unspeakably dark moments, when a car pulling up in the drive causes your throat to constrict and your heart to race ... when the nights are unusually long ... when you read headlines such as "Eight Marines killed in Al-Anbar province," and you know your son is right in the middle of it ... it's STILL gonna be OK. You CAN take it. You HAVE to. And you will, and you'll grow from it, and your faith will be strengthened. It's not much fun, I assure you. During Cpl Jeremy's last deployment, when we knew he was taking part in the largest single Marine offensive since the Korean War, we asked ourselves as a family: "What is the very worst thing that could happen?" The answer, of course, was easy. We knew he could lose his life. As shattering as that would be, and as much as we would grieve, we would not grieve as those who have no hope. We've all made arrangements to meet again, and my hope is built on nothing less than that old blessed assurance.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of these Marines who were all veterans of the successful Battle of Fallujah in November 2004 - they will forever be remembered as the heroes they were. Information on each fallen hero can be found here.

Marine Heavy Helicopter Squadron 361, Marine Aircraft Group 16, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, Calif

• Capt. Paul C. Alaniz, 32, of Corpus Christi, Texas
  
• Capt. Lyle L. Gordon, 30, of Midlothian, Texas
  Staff Sgt. Dexter S. Kimble, 30, of Houston
  Lance Cpl. Tony L. Hernandez, 22, of Canyon Lake, Texas.

1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, 3rd Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Hawaii

• 1st Lt. Travis J. Fuller, 26, of Granville, Mass.
  
• 1st Lt. Dustin M. Shumney, 30, of Vallejo, Calif.
  
• Staff Sgt. Brian D. Bland, 26, of Weston, Wyo.
  
• Sgt. Michael W. Finke Jr., 28, of Huron, Ohio
  
• Cpl. Timothy M. Gibson, 23, of Hillsborough, N.H.
  
• Cpl. Richard A. Gilbert Jr., 26, of Montgomery, Ohio
  
• Cpl. Kyle J. Grimes, 21, of Northhampton, Pa.
  
• Cpl. Nathaniel K. Moore, 22, of Champaign, Ill.
  
• Cpl. Nathan A. Schubert, 22, of Cherokee, Iowa
  
• Cpl. Matthew R. Smith, 24, of West Valley, Utah
  
• Cpl. James L. Moore, 24, of Roseburg, Ore.
  
• Cpl. Sean P. Kelly, 23, of Gloucester, N.J.
  
• Lance Cpl. Gael Saintvil, 24, of Orange, Fla.
  
• Lance Cpl. Michael L. Starr Jr., 21, of Baltimore
  
• Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Spence, 24, of Scotts Valley, Calif.
  
• Lance Cpl. Darrell J. Schumann, 25, of Hampton, Va.
  
• Lance Cpl. Hector Ramos, 20, of Aurora, Ill.
  
• Lance Cpl. Rhonald D. Rairdan, 20, of San Antonio
  
• Lance Cpl. Mourad Ragimov, 20, of San Diego
  
• Lance Cpl. Saeed Jafarkhani-Torshizi Jr., 24, of Fort Worth, Texas
  
• Lance Cpl. Brian C. Hopper, 21, of Wynne, Ark.
  
• Lance Cpl. Jonathan E. Etterling, 22, of Wheelersburg, Ohio.

Naval Medical Clinic Hawaii, Marine Corps Units Detachment, Pearl Harbor

• Petty Officer 3rd Class John D. House, 28, of Ventura, Calif.

Petty Officer House had been a father for less than a month and had seen his son only through pictures - James was born to his wife Melanie on Christmas Eve. In an interview with the Ventura County Star, his parents described his relationship with the Marines he served with>

"In one of the letters he wrote, 'I know all of them ... even in the dark, by their mannerisms,'" Susan House of Simi Valley, Calif., read, choking back tears. "'I don't know how I am going to deal with losing any of them. It is my job to take care of them and keep them safe.'"

Petty Officer House extended his deployment because of a shortage of Navy corpsmen. There will be a special place in heaven for him - for all our heroes.

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January 27, 2005

A day of prayers and tears

Yesterday, Marine families all over the world held their collective breath as they heard of the tragic helicopter crash which claimed the lives of thirty Marines and one Sailor who may have been a corpsman assigned to save their lives in case of injury. Thirtyone families are forever altered and our hearts and prayers reach out to them.

Twenty-seven of the Marines are from Marine Corps Base Hawaii in Kaneohe Bay. Marine brother Liam sends along this request:

I just wanted to ask if y'all could pray for my brother James and his marine brothers from Hawaii. They just lost 27 of their men and prayers are needed now more than ever. If you could pray for them that would mean the world to us.

The Oursler family sends along their condolences to the larger community of Marine families:

I can't find another website with which to send both my and my families condolences on the horrific crash which claimed twenty nine marines and one naval seaman. I am an army wife whose husband is serving his third tour. I have cried on and off all day and cannot imagine the sorrow your community must be feeling. God Bless you and your community: the wives, children, mothers and brothers, fathers and sisters and granparents who are greiving. It is beyond words and we are praying for you.

I know just how she feels - it's the same way Marine families felt when the Mosul dining tent was bombed. We all grieve together.

And, Major General Natonski, CG for 1MARDIV sent this message to the families of the troops under his command yesterday (thanks, Carrie):

The 26th of January 2005 was a tragic day for the Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen of the 1st Marine Division. Thirty-one of our brothers in arms perished in a helicopter crash while conducting security and stabilization operations in the Al Anbar province. Although our mission is dangerous and we understand the risk associated with our task, losses of this magnitude remind us all of how fragile life is. Our Division has reflected on the sacrifice of these brave warriors and said a prayer for their families and friends. Although our hearts are burdened by this loss, we continue to march toward our goal of a free and democratic Iraq. We will honor their sacrifice with our deeds. The first free election in Iraqi history will occur in no small part due to the efforts of the members of the 1st Marine Division who have sacrificed for this historic day. We also send our condolences to the families and friends who lost loved ones from the 3d Marine Aircraft Wing. We often talk about the Marine Corps being a family. Whenever a family loses one of its’ own, it comes together to find the strength and courage to persevere. Today we are not separated by unit, occupational specialty, or rank; but rather joined by the bonds forged of 229 years of brotherhood. Together we will carry on. We honor all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the service of our nation. May God bless all those who we have lost and the Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and families of the 1st Marine Division.

Posted by Deb at 12:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 22, 2005

Two Seeds

Lori Holman from Norman, Oklahoma is pulling double duty with two Marine sons. She recently sent this message written straight from her heart. If you can get through it without tears, you are made of stronger stuff than I.

Just a few days ago, I walked slowly in downtown Norman on an uncharacteristically warm winter day. That bright afternoon, the town's teens and collegiates were out in force; absorbing the sun's energy, enjoying the rare warmth. I smiled, scanning the crowd and trying not to think of my 46th birthday. I found myself drinking in the younger peoples' enthusiasm for the day and I steered away from thoughts of advancing age. I chided myself for feeling old and decrepit, and wryly realized I sstill have time left to enjoy. Besides, how can one think of life's approaching end while surrounded by so many young souls?

I rolled my eyes at my silliness and focused again on the young people laughing and having fun. Such young faces! Twinkling eyes, smiles flashing as quickly as Oklahoma summer lightning, faces radiant and happy. Youthful exuberance bubbles up from spirits freely riding the winds of hope. The faces of young America, I thought to myself - the future of our nation resting so easily in their strong hands. So much promise, so many dreams cradled in their arms, waiting only for the chance to run.

Our next generations' dreams for the future might be widely different but the enthusiasm with which they embrace those dreams seems universal. The faces are as different as are wildflowers in a meadow, yet their eyes shine with the same brightness of possibilities.

My thoughts turned to my own sons; two of them serving their country as United States Marines. My firstborn, just starting out as a newlywed, he and his young wife together again after his deployment to a war zone in Iraq. My middle son, newly engaged and so vibrant with life, his own deployment on the very near horizon. Their youngest brother, so intelligent and creative, still undecided on how he's going to leave his mark in life, but ever thankful of his brothers' contributions toward the freedom of his own future.

Less than one week later, I sit in front of my computer, tears slipping down my cheeks as I think on our next generations. I am contemplating two young lives in contrast, lives out of sync. Two young men on the edge of forever, ready to cultivate the fields of tomorrow with their best efforts. How each young spirit chooses to plant their seeds in the fields of tomorrow can be so greatly different. And oh, how differently their offerings do flower.

I'll call the first James. James is twenty-three. He is a bright young single college student, well-liked and enthusiastic about life. He grabs every golden opportunity America gives him. Not much thought is given to the inner workings of these opportunities, and James avails himself of his birthright to complain about his government and voice his criticism freely. James considers himself a patriotic American. He like so many proudly proclaim discontent with our country, and he never has to miss the chance to share those views. No problem with that, right? If you see something you don't like, isn't it a responsibility to say so?

Our second young American is named Steve. Steve is about the same age, married with a new young baby. He could have gone to college right out of high school, but felt a need to do more with his life first – to give back to the country he so deeply loves. He became what few Americans can ever dream of becoming - a United States Marine. He said goodbye his loved ones and deployed to Iraq.

Two men, two choices, each with the freedom to choose what path they can walk to make our world a better place.

Steve was critically wounded while in combat, suffering among other injuries a broken back and blindness. He saw his friends, his Brothers, maimed and die from the same roadside bomb that altered his life so drastically. Steve had times when he felt down, when he worried that he would be unable to lead the kind of life he and his young bride had planned so hopefully. But after talking and just being grateful that he was alive, they realized that no matter what this
turn of events brought on the horizon, they would face it bravely and together. He took great delight in doing simple things and was still proud of his service to his country. He told people, "I have seen everything I need to see. I saw my son being born, I saw my Drill Instructor smile at me when he said congratulations Marine. I saw a lot of sunsets in places that they talk about in the Bible. I saw a lot of my friends go home from over there, I saw a lot that didn't. I saw the Iwo monument in Washington. I saw how proud my dad was when I graduated boot camp. I'm satisfied with that. I don't hold a grudge or
anything like the doctors told my wife she should prepare for. I wish I could still be there obviously, but I feel like I have done a lot while I was there. I know I'm glad I didn't die there, and that when I do go I'll be able to say that I gave more to this country then I took from it. Thats all you can ask for in the end…I really am grateful for all the things I have. I missed alot while I was gone. I may never see my son smile, but I can still tell when he is happy. I love smelling his hair after (my wife) gives him a bath. Those are the kinds of things, along with your prayers, that get me through the day."
Back to James. He and his buddies often spend time in town, enjoying the sights and getting away from the "pressures" of college life. They decided to get a bite to eat. By chance, Steve and his wife were in the very same place. Steve and his wife had finally gotten the chance to go out to have dinner, something they hadn't been able to do since before Steve was injured. Their paths converged. Steve, using his walker to carefully navigate his way across the room, bumps into a chair. James and his friends think this is hilarious. They nudge each other and laugh, as James makes fun of the young man using a walker, and they mimic him bumping into objects.

I got a call last night from a close friend, a call I really didn't want to receive. Our Marine Corps Family has suffered yet another loss. Steve has died. One moment, our world had a hero – the next we were irrevocably poorer as a nation. When Steve passed on, his wife held one of his hands, his commanding officer the other. Nestled on his bed, close to his heart, was his little son.

My head bows and I begin to sob loudly. My tears rain down harder, and I long to be able to reach out and gather his sweet, brave young wife in my arms. I search for words to comfort her, to pass along some kind of decent tribute. What words can I possibly use that will tell their son that his daddy was among the best of men? Anything I try to say falls far short. I want so badly to be able to make things better, but there is nothing I can do to heal their pain. I know all too well that it could be my son this happens to, and I have cried with many others who are dealing with this kind of suffering and loss. This is our reality, and it is what our loved ones have chosen to risk. How it can be a matter of amusement and unconcern to any young American is something I cannot comprehend. God forbid that our society sinks once again into ingratitude, heartlessness and shameful treatment of our heroes, as happened in the bloody throes of Vietnam. I do not think we can stay sane as a country if our next generation sinks so low once again.

When Steve checked in online before his final surgery, he was immediately beseiged by his fellow Marines. His Brothers gathered him close, put their own bad memories on the back burner and proceeded to take care of him in the way only Devil Dogs can. They even teased that if they kidnapped him for a party, he wouldn't even have to be blindfolded. They closed ranks and took care of their own. Would James be able to count on such tight bonds from his homeboys if he needed them? I find myself doubting it. James probably wouldn't go out of his way for anyone else, either. But this Marine did, and thousands like him, so James and his friends wouldn't have to worry about fighting in their own hometown; so he could be free to make fun of the man who had given so much for him. That horrible meeting of those two young men
keeps nagging at me – and it epitomizes the difference between James and Steve. I think on one of our nation's young heroes struggling to comfort his weeping wife as he put his own embarrassment and fear aside. Steve's not here to grace our world as he used to, every chance he got. Yet good 'ol James and his clueless posse no doubt continue on, uncaring of the pain they inflicted on a young couple's heart, unmindful of the damage they've done to their own tarnished souls.

They have no idea what we've all just lost. I wonder if they'd be smart enough to care even if they knew?

Such young faces. The faces of young America, the future of our nation resting so easily in their strong hands. So much promise, so many dreams. How each young spirit chooses to plant their seeds in the fields of tomorrow can be so greatly different. And oh, how different their offerings do flower. What will spring forth from these seeds?

Will it be a waste of fertile ground sown with weeds of selfishness…or the hardy blossoms of freedom, gently and lovingly planted in hope for the next generation? With these Marine mother's eyes, I focus on the sons and daughters we have so lovingly guided on their path, knowing as surely as we know their good hearts, that our future is in good hands. Steve will always shine as the best kind of American to me. He was here for such a short time, but his accomplishments are as lasting as if he'd lived for a hundred years. There's more worth to be found in that one warrior's brief life, that one gentle man's loving sacrifice - than we ever can hope to see in the other's example; a
solitary, immature man's selfish, aimless journey. I can only pray that James' kind learns to be grateful to the extraordinary men and women who fight and die for them. If they don't, what kind of legacy do they hope to leave behind when their chance on this earth is past?

Steve won't see his son's face or play soccer with him as he grows up. But what he passed on to that little boy is more lasting and more precious than he would ever dream – a golden legacy of true love and courage, and a lifetime of freedom to grow into the kind of man his father was.

Two men, two seeds. I know which seed bears the better fruit.

For Toxic and Kelly, for Lt. and Renee; for Nance and Lance, for Colin and Kevin and for Cpl. Amaya; for Brenda and Eric, Merce, Evy, every Gold Star Mother - and for every mother who fears earning that banner…For all the men and women whose lives have touched ours so deeply before sacrificing so much in service of our country. We will always remember, we will always love you – and we will live to "pay it forward".

Amen.

Posted by Deb at 01:22 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 14, 2005

Snow Fakes

The real stuff is forecasted for this weekend. I'm staying home, mattress pad turned up on high and a warm dog to keep my feet toasty. And here's a fun timewaster to keep me entertained without going outside - brrrr!

Posted by Deb at 12:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 24, 2004

Happy Birthday Ben

Gold Star mother, Brenda, shares memories of her third-generation Marine son, LCpl Benjamin H. Gearheart, who died on 8/27/97 at Camp Pendleton, CA during a training maneuver when his LAV went down a 1200ft embankment.

The pain we mothers have when giving them birth, is tiny...compared to losing them. Scientists say if you changed 1 thing in the universe, chaos would happen. The same thing happens if you lose 1 person. Someone, somewhere, lives are changed 4 ever! 7 years and it still feels like yesterday. The "missing you" lingers on abundantly! Happy "30" Ben! Oh the fun you would have had this Christmas Eve! I can hear the jokes you would have made in regard to the big 30. Yet I can see the little boy look that would have been on your face. The gee I really don't want to be this number, I want to be 10 again. We would have shared many of these fun numbers together. I thought of you all day when I turned 50 this year. As the years go on and I settle for the memories I miss you more then ever. Love Mom This year I would like to share my favorite Christmas story with all of you. I would also like to thank each and every one of you for being there for me. It helps just knowing you are out there. My husband and I raised four sons. Their ages today range from 24 to 35. We tried to teach them early on that gift giving was not about the price but ever so much the thought. Many hours were spent in their younger years creating construction paper greeting cards and homemade gifts. Smiles pass my lips when I reflect on the closed doors in our house...A child yelling "Mom, Dad, Don't come in yet!" Oh, the excitement I heard in their voices. The love I felt, from their young souls. The spirited twinkle in their eyes when their creation was presented. Our house was adorned with many of these gifts. Pencil, crayon, and painted drawings were framed and hung. Clay sculptures and pots, cute pillows and such, an art gallery it was to me. Stick reindeers, beaded ornaments, and a very special red paper Santa dressed our tree. A tin can Pilgrim was a sight to see. I have in my possession to this day boxes of these priceless treasures. Of all the heartfelt moments experiencing their love of giving, one is forever branded in my mind... The year was 1990, as was tradition in our home we exchanged our personal gifts to each other on Christmas Eve. Santa would provide the Christmas morn. Our second to the oldest son Ben was 16. He was short on cash this year. When it came his turn to pass out gifts he rose and said, "I want all of you to stand and form a line oldest to youngest." He then proceeded down the line. Each of us were hugged and told, "Merry Christmas I love you." His sad eyes misted with the wish of his heart. Though not having a gift to hand us he chose, "The Thought That Counted." Ben had chosen, the gift of love. With tears streaming down my checks I remember looking at my precious son and saying, "That is the best Christmas present anyone could ever receive." Ben was born on Christmas Eve 12-24-74 A blessed gift to his family LCPL Benjamin H. Gearheart died 8-27-97 A gift to his country (in a military training accident) Happy Birthday Ben Ben's last Christmas was spent deployed to Kuwait in 1996. He mailed this letter to us that year: A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM BEN 1996 Mom & Dad, I got my boxes yesterday and I really don't know how to start this letter. I do believe, no matter where I am, no matter the situation, and no matter what you had to do to get it done, you would make me feel loved. I think that I was the only one in my plattoon to get a box for Christmas. Words cannot describe how it felt to have everbody watchen as I opened rapped gifts sent from back home. But then again, I should not have been surprised, cause you have been doing the same thing for 22 years now. People have asked me before what I was Most proud of. I tell them that I am most proud of my Mother and father. The way both of you had put Both of your lives to the side to raise four boys. Now that I am older I can see it alot better. What Both of you had put yourselves through just to make sure that we all had good clothes to put on our backs. All the up's and down's we had as a family, all the up's and down's that you two had as parents. They were always overcome, by two people who would work two jobs, work late in a sewing room. By two people who would give anything it took to put a smile on their Boy's face. Mom, you told me one time that you didn't know how I had went to day & night school and worked full time. Well even if you don't know it or not, things were learned that were not necessarly taught. I've never really said it before, and I don't know why. Everynight when I say my prayers ( When I remember to pray) I allways thank God for giving me such great parents. What Im trying to say is "Thank You" Thank you so much for always being there and always giving what you didn't have. It was all noticed. I love you more then anything in the world. Ben I want to thank all of you for remembering with me. Please know that I am so incredibly proud of your sons and daughters that are serving our country and that I keep all of them in my prayers. To the families who have had to endure "The Ultimate Sacrifice" Please know that my soul weeps with you and that you are most profoundly in my heart and prayers.

Please visit the web page that Brenda has created in her son's memory and sign her guestbook.

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December 20, 2004

Grizzly Greetings

Linda Kelly, Marine Mom currently living near Yellowstone Park, put her professional photography skills to good use for her Christmas cards this year. Here's her holiday greeting for all of you.

Linda's also looking for high resolution images of deployments, homecomings, facial expressions of emotion, Marines in combat, Iraqis, Iraq in general, boot camp, flags, yellow ribbons and fallen soldier images (approved by surviving families) to be used for a slide presentation for the Marine Parents convention next summer. Editors and photographers can contact Linda Kelly for details at Westone Publishing, 3 Crevice Mountain Road, Jardine, MT 59030.

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December 15, 2004

"We don't quit just because it gets hard."

Cassandra has a roundup of blog thoughts on the armor shortage debate. Brendan Minitar discusses problems with the military procurement system and Grayhawk weighs in with a military perspective.

MCM reader Jason also sends along this opinion from his cousin, 1stLt Sacavage, 1MARDIV, who is a twice deployed Marine:

Yes, there is a lack of "up-armored" HMMWVs in theater, though this can be misleading. The up-armored HMMWV (the M1114) was actually only minimally in the Army inventory and was never a Marine Corps vehicle. We went into Baghdad the first time with just the highback HMMWVs with soft doors and the hardback HMMWVs which have supplemental armor (for shrapnel protection - won't stop 7.62 small arms fire) When the insurgency began they started kicking up production of this M1114 vehicle, but that's a large feat, as it comes with its own supply trail, plus the up armored HMMWV can't carry gear, just personnel and a gunner. In the meantime they were outfitting the highbacks (gear/personnel carriers) and hardbacks (personnel/gunner) with supplemental armor - the green kits you see, which will stop a round. When I first rolled into OIF II we had first generation pieces of this, but a few months in we were outfitted with a thicker gauge with better hinges. Policy was that no vehicle left the forward operating base without supplemental armor. I have numerous friends and colleagues that survived significant blasts in HMMWVs with the supplemental armor, including one where an artillery shell detonated in front of and behind the vehicle. I believe between the supplemental armor and kevlar blankets, Small Arms Protection Inserts, and ballistic glass that we have fairly good protection, though nothing's perfect and my battalion sadly did lose Marines to IEDs while in vehicles. Keep in mind these insurgents have blown up entire M1 tanks, so no armor is perfect, and ultimately the mission takes priority. It's not feasible to roll around in tanks alone and we'd ultimately fail if we tried. As for the soldier? I feel it's unprofessional. Rumsfeld's comments about going to war with the gear you have is right - the enemy is constantly evolving and we'll never be able to engineer the danger out of war. So many of these "conscientious objectors" and guys that just go UA are simply cowards feeding off an excuse the media is fueling. We don't just quit because it gets hard. I don't know the whole story, there may be more to it, but when I was there armor was a hot topic. Advances were being made every day.

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October 24, 2004

Today, in the life of an American

Today I woke up to the sun peeking through a few clouds, to voices of laughter from across my fence.

I began my day with a run through the neighborhood, and a sprinkle of rain on my face.

I had a shower with hot water, a hot cup of robust coffee, and I read the newspaper.

I went to the cleaners, the local department store, and the bank.

I met with a friend for lunch and shared special time with a loved one.

I went shopping, took out the garbage and chatted with my neighbors.

I mowed my lawn, listened to the sprinkler, and bar-b-qued dinner in my backyard.

And, tonight I thank God for the men and women who have given me this freedom of peace and tranquility. I thank God for our US Marine Corps.

Posted by at 02:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 23, 2004

Congratulations Marine!

Proud Marine Dad Donald Sensing reports that his son, PFC Sensing is one of MCRD-Parris Island's newest Marines, having earned this title after completing 13 weeks in this most rigorous boot camp of any branch of the armed forces. Oohrah!

Posted by Deb at 10:12 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 06, 2004

Homecoming through a Marine Corps Dad's eyes

Marine Corps Dads experience the same emotions as we moms do. They may hide it better but the nail-biting anxiety during deployment and exhilaration at homecoming are the same for both genders. Jarhead Dad just sent along this account of his son's arrival - reading his words of pride made me cry.

See this smile on my face? It will have to be surgically removed! ;-) Kris is good to go. He looks a bit worse for wear but he and the Corps feel he's fit for duty! I got screwed by the FRO and we got there after the boys had landed. Kris sent me an e-mail saying they would be coming in 2Oct but the FRO said that was wrong and they would be there 3Oct. Imagine our surprise when we get a phone call from him while we are at E's soccer match! My Lovely Bride was sure annoyed and the poor guys at check-in paid a heavy price for the mistake! he-he-he! Anyhoo, we hooked up after driving all night and went to the Fox homecoming and passed a good time. About the last thing Kris wanted to do but he understood that his Mom wanted to watch the Marines come in so he suffered through it admirably! :-o We pretty much partied for two days and then laid around for another. I learned for certain that I am way too damned old to try and drink with 20 something Jarheads! OUCH! I still haven't recovered! What a great bunch of young men those guys are. Janice and I both broke down a bit when they hoisted one to their lost comrades and the ones wounded in action. That was a touching moment that I will always carry with me. What I found really nice is the way these guys carry themselves and look you dead in the eye. I kept thinking about all those stories the MSM wrote about our boys being constantly "scared" etc., and just shook my head. Those boys may know fear but they sure aren't afraid of anything that walks this planet! The guys were all pretty much like Kris, rode hard and put up wet but the spirit in them was astounding! Yeah, they were still wired and fired up with the normal language that goes with it all but they were so clean of mind, body, and soul that we "got it". I'm afraid my daughter came in for quite a bit of attention that her brother had to squash a time or two and she was loving it! Add four more gray hairs there! ;-) I found it interesting how the interaction works with these guys. There is definitely a pecking order and rank doesn't mean diddly when it comes to who's at what end of the order. They treat each other with something akin to reverence but at the same time will knock the snot out of one another simply for fun! Rough and tumble United States Marines! God how I looked with envy on their youth and at the same time could stand and cheer at their heroism! As long as we have Marines like these America will always remain safe and secure! The thing that made me probably the most proud of them was the way they treated their Mothers! Mothers carry more weight than the Commandant of the Corps and make no mistake about it! I saw a young Captain and young Major jump at commands from Moms. I bet those guys could stare down an AK with less indifference! It was funny to watch all the Marines with all of the Moms! I can now say without a doubt that the United States Marine Corps Moms are the backbone and lifeblood of the Corps! And it was really funny to watch! ;-) The stories were intense and nothing was held back. Some extremely poignant, some extremely sad, some extremely hysterical, and all extreme. These guys are intense and the world they just left is just as intense. Not one Marine didn't believe in their mission, CiC, or their core belief that they made a difference. They know their sacrifices were not in vain and believe the mission will be completed. Their interaction with the regular Iraqis surprised me a good bit and they are all for them. When they spoke of the "hajis" that intense light burned in their eyes and then softened again when they spoke of the "regs". They absolutely adored the Iraqi kids and think Allawi can walk on water. Along with George W. Bush I might add! Since this Homecoming was radically different than the last one I'd have to say that this should qualify as our first. The guys came out dripping sand although they cleaned up the best they could. They looked strong and tailored albeit a bit "scrawny". The Corps knows how to allow a family some private time and everything was well organized. I'm sure the city of Jacksonville, NC is pleased to see those Marine Dollars back in town too! ;-) I'm having six disposable cameras developed and I'll pass some pics along if I can get some memory in my computer. The pics will be done this afternoon but I really have to get ready for DC and WAGS so it may be next week. God Bless these fine young Marines and God Bless the Marine Corps for bringing them home safely! Semper Fi

Pictures will be added when JHD shares - welcome home, Kris!

Posted by Deb at 04:04 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 30, 2004

Two hugs a day

Cheryl, new Marine Mom, is getting extra support at home:

I am a relatively new Marine mom. My son, Alex, is stationed at Camp Pendleton at SOI but has already been told they will be going to the sandbox, so I read all the posts and sit and worry and pray about the future, not just for my son, but for all our troops. But, I have to tell you something that happened this week that gave me strength. I have four other children besides my Marine. My youngest, Eric, is 6 years old and he idolizes his big brother. In fact, when Alex was home on leave, Alex and another Marine walked Eric to first grade. They were on their way to their high school to talk, so they were dressed in their dress blues. All the problems Eric had with older boys picking on him on the playground went away when those boys saw Eric escorted by two handsome young Marines. Alex stayed until school started and answered their questions and let them touch his uniform. Since Alex stands 6'4", he looked like a giant standing next to all those first graders! Anyway, I love to watch the Waltons and the other day the show was on where Ben is in a Japanese prison camp and then the family finds out he is alive. I'll admit it, I cry about that stuff! Anyway, I had tears in my eyes and Eric asked me if I was sad because I missed Alex. I said, "well, I'm really kind of crying about this dumb show, but I really do miss Alex too." Then Eric hugged me and said, "Did Alex sit on your lap and hug you when you cried when he was little like me?" I said, "Yes, Alex used to sit on my lap and give me hugs too." Eric looked incredulous and he said, "Alex was once little like me and he sat on your lap?" I said, "Yes, but now he's too big to sit on my lap." Eric hugged me tight and said, "Mom, don't be sad. I'll give you two hugs a day - okay? One from me and one from Alex until Alex comes home." And, each morning and each evening, he does just that - he hugs me one for him and an extra tight hug that is from Alex. It made me realize that this just doesn't affect me, it affects the rest of our families too. Sometimes I tend to have tunnel vision and think that I'm the only one lying awake at night worrying and praying. Hugs from Marines are great, but so are hugs from little brothers of Marines!

Any hug is great, but I'm still partial to Marine hugs.

Posted by Deb at 03:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 27, 2004

When prayers are answered……

Last Monday, Sept. 20th, I flew to Palm Springs - just the first stop to my final destination of 29 Palms, California. The much anticipated and long awaited reunion was finally happening. It was my first trip alone, a small but mighty welcome home committee. Since this was the return of my sons second deployment and our second “reunion”, I was prepared for the hotel check-in, meeting the anxious and excited parents and families, getting my security pass to get on base, camera in hand, and posters to make those “welcome home” signs. Buses filled with weary and excited Marines had already arrived. Families had come and gone and new families had arrived to continue the wait for our courageously brave Marines. And, for all of us prayers had been answered. Celebrations were happening. Parents from platoons gathered in the hotel commons and together made signs and nametags and shared stories about their Marines. The excitement was intoxicating. I sat watching as this “family” grew as more parents arrived and information flowed in as to the estimated arrival time. Here we were just hours away from having our children home. Prayers had been answered. By midnight another group of buses had delivered to waiting families another company of Marines. And, the “hot-line” message had changed. Weapons Co. was due to land at 3:30 am. By 7:30 am several hundred parents, children, sisters, brother, aunts and uncles, wives and grandparents anxiously waited with signs, banners, balloons and cameras. The Marine band played as we were notified that the buses were now on base. Again, we waited and just with the knowledge that these Marines were so close the tears began to flow. It wasn’t long before those big white buses were heard and seen. As they approached the staging area, screams and shouting was the only thing to be heard. It was Tuesday morning, Sept. 21st when Bill, my son, stepped off that bus. I immediately saw him, even in the sea of desert khaki, and without hesitation I made my way to him. He heard my voice as I called his name before he saw me. And, like most moms, my emotions took over and nothing was getting between me and my “mission” to hug my son. My prayers have been answered.

	A hotel commons becomes a place for creative hands and happy families to make name banners with pictures of their Marines
Along Adobe Rd. runs the sentiments of those who have patiently waited back home.
	Luis and Andreas were excited as they waited for their uncle to return. It was a challenge not to lose those balloons.
Kids played while waiting for the buses.
	And the band played on.
I think this happy Marine has his hands full.
	My Marine, my son.
The sea of C-bags and packs. Finding the right green bag is bit of a challenge. This is like the airport with everyone having black luggage.

Posted by at 03:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 25, 2004

Why I'm not sleeping much these days

This is part of an e-mail I received this morning from my son:

I've been shot at more times than I can remember, mortered more times than I can count, had a rocket shot into the house I was sitting in and the other day I got blown up along with the rest of my fire team by an I.E.D. my A gunner and my team leader took shrapnel (dont worry they'll be fine)

One month down. Six more months to go.

Posted by Deb at 04:57 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 23, 2004

A visit to Landstuhl

Diana Hartman is an accomplished writer who is married to a Marine and lives in Stuttgart, Germany. I've known her as an online friend for almost two years and always look forward to her words. Here is her account of a trip earlier this week with other Marine wives to visit wounded troops at Lanstuhl:

the marine wives trip to landstuhl today was wonderful...there were 6 marines in the hospital today, and of those, one wounded in combat...the wounded marine is doing well...while i cannot be specific about the wounded or the reasons for the other 5 being there, i can tell you for myself and as the liason office explained, they are just as sorely in need of attention and good will...this was never more clear than after our visits...walking the wards and up and down the halls seeing young men and women my son and daughter's age was difficult...it was hard not to go to each and every one of them to hug them and kiss them on the head and fetch their favorite beverage and a nice warm blanket from the dryer, or whatever they wanted, you know like a mom does for a sick child no matter how old they are... it was more exhausting having to pass by wounded than it was to stop and hang out with someone for a bit...but we didn't have nearly enough time and all of them had checkups and cleanups and whatnot, and that meant visitors had to go either for that moment or until another time... all of the marines, from the liason's office to the patients, were happy to have us there passing out goodies, magazines, books, and toiletries...we visited each marine by introducing ourselves, swapping hometowns, learning about each marine's background, and having them go through the bags of stuff to get what they wanted and needed...they all, younger and older alike lit up like children when the bags were opened for them...it was both heartening and distressing to see how much of a difference a little thing like a magazine or a hershey's bar can make in someone's life... quite a few marines had shipped out earlier for the states so there weren't as many marines there today as would be on another day...this is why the wives will be visiting them again and again... as of yesterday's post office check there was no mail on this end (meaning my p.o. box), but mail from the states can take anywhere from a week and a half to two weeks, and packages as much as three weeks to get here which is why i specifically requested a seat on the october 7th visit...i don't have pictures from today's visit because the bag with my camera, water, and lunch didn't make it to the van... i will make sure the camera goes all the way to landstuhl on the 7th the liason office knows i will be there on the 7th and that i will be bringing things from marine moms from all over the united states...they were very excited to hear this; a few grew quite soft in the face at the mention of marine mothers responding so quickly and generously to the request...several assured me that they personally would be there when i arrived with the other wives to help get the donations to the everyone... the marine corps liason's office at landstuhl has a unique and impressive system for tracking their marines...when a plane lands, all wounded are regarded as soldiers on the manifest...the marines from the liason's office go through the plane and find out just which ones are marines and make sure they are marked by clothing and followed all the way from the plane to treatment to their hospital room...the roster is updated daily and rechecked frequently so that there is no crack for any of the marines to fall through... the marines we visited today were very grateful for the visit...they were talkative and excited about having stuff to read, view, and listen to on the cd players... the number of donations coming into the marine liason's office doubles every couple of weeks...groups from all walks of life have responded to the request for donations, and this has directly and postively affected the quality of the stay for each of the wounded...when dvd players, cd players, and game systems (like x-box) are donated, these are made available to all wounded, not just marines... between the marines themselves and the liason's office we compiled a list of things that they are in special need of at this time but first a little info before i proceed with the requests... -when the wounded fly into landstuhl, they are often wearing an army undershirt...while this might not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it is a very big deal to marines...if able, they tell the liason that they want to take the army shirt off...the liason team will often have a few non-army shirts available and will cut the other shirt off if tubes or ties are in the way...while there are other shirts for them to wear, the marines prefer a marine undershirt or a marine t-shirt...they don't like sitting up in their beds or making their way around in a shirt that marks them as anything other than marines... -when hands, fingers, arms and/or shoulders are wounded, fine motor skills suffer (the ability to hold a pen or thread a needle)...occupational therapy plays a big role in helping the wounded regain and strengthen these skills...among the more popular ways to do this is modeling -- car models, airplane models, etc...both snap-tite and traditional modeling kits allow them to redevelop their strength... -those who are newly learning to get along with one arm or hand or whose injury limits their use to one arm or hand are unable to floss their teeth with conventional floss...floss handles like the one shown here allows these individuals a form of independence and cleanliness that they thought was lost to them... -while dvd's are pouring in from all over, music cd's from all genres are in short supply... -while there is more toothpaste available than you could shake a stick at, toothbrushes and floss are in short supply... with that, i submit the following list of requests from the both the liason's office and the marines themselves... *car, airplane, etc modeling kits and accessories (both snap-tite and traditional)... *cd's -- all genres and/or concert dvd's... *plain grey t-shirts with black lettering saying USMC or other marine corps t-shirts and undershirts -- all sizes (this is something that can be acquired by those who are near a marine corps exchange or are able to shop online at a marine corps clothing site) *toothbrushes *floss (see above link for reference) these are items they are in special need of at this time, but of course they are most grateful for all the cards and letters and the donations of candy, magazines, books, dvd's, and anything else you think they might like... as i post, it is about 1:30 east coast time...it's about 7:30pm here in germany... while it was a long and emotionally exhausting day, i'm very glad i went and i very much look forward to going again...i'm going to go hug my children and husband, call my daughter in ca to tell her how much i love her, and then hopefully i will be in a better frame of mind to take a nap...

Read more of her writing here. And if you'd like to send along a few items for our wounded Marines, contact Diana here: msdusmcd@yahoo.com

Posted by Deb at 08:52 AM | Comments (4)

September 22, 2004

A Montana Marine Mom Speaks

From Hugh Hewitt - if you're not reading him every day, you should be. Here's an e-mail from a Marine Corps Mom, sent to a USMC Major in Baghdad who wrote an essay on why most media reports should be taken with a pillar of salt:

Sent: Tuesday, 21 September, 2004 Subject: Thank you from a Marine Mom! Dear sir: I'm a marine mom from Helena, Montana. My son (____) is in Iraq right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one still supporting the mission over there after all these negative reports hit the airwaves. John Kerry just adds fuel to the negative fire! It makes me crazy to listen to him talk. He just doesn't get it! You just summed up my sentiments of this whole operation. I thank you for helping me stay strong in the continued "fight" at home to keep the troops morale high by standing by them. I absolutely agree with everything you say by what ____has written in his letters. He said that he has a huge respect for the Iraqi National Guard because they are trying so hard to make a better life for the Iraqi people. He also told me not to listen to news reports that the Iraqi people don't like them. He said even the places they've gone where most people didn't like them to begin with, they gained their respect by the time they were done there. After the people watched them standing back and getting shot at as they guarded the Iraqi's while rebuilding hospitals and schools. He said the people start to realize what the USA stands for. They are not there to be aggressive, they are there to show them how to stand up for themselves. He said there's been many times they've been shot at and they don't shoot back unless absolutely necessary just to build the trust of the people and the ING. They take orders from the ING in those situations and he said the ING is starting to feel some confidence in themselves. His quiet humor amazes me. He said "Sometimes it's a little nerve wracking hoping their aim has gotten better..... but it all seems to work out and is worth it to see the ING gaining confidence in themselves" He said it's been an amazing process. ____was sent to Najaf in August and was helping tranport troops (both marines and ING) to the Mosque in his Amphibious Assault Vehicle. The storming of the mosque was called off at the last minute, but ____said he was impressed with how hard the Americans and Iraqis worked together. He told me it was something he can't even describe and that I will never even imagine and that if we back down now the Iraqis would be totally devastated and never trust us again. On a final note: I am always amazed at the lack of whining of you marines! The only thing ____has complained of is missing the upcoming Monday Night Football game between his beloved Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins....ha! Anyway, I appreciate articles like yours! Keep em coming! ________- Helena, Montana Proud Mom of CPL _______, Camp Lejeune 24th MEU

This could have been written by any of the Marine Moms that I know. And I appreciate that this proud mom took the time to put her thoughts on paper for the rest of us.

Posted by Deb at 09:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 05, 2004

A Little Miracle

USMC Lance Corporal Adam Sanchez has a new title - Daddy - given to him by his brand new baby girl, Zoe. Denise Wilkerson, proud Marine mom shares her son's encounter with a caring stranger while he was flying home to California from Texas after his pre-deployment leave.

My son, LCpl Adam Sanchez – 1/7 Marines - was home on his pre-deployment leave when his wife began to have complications with her pregnancy. On August 5th she delivered a baby girl, Zoe Ann, who weighed 2 lbs. 15 oz., 16 inches long. My son was granted an extension on his leave and was able to be with his wife and daughter for two weeks following her birth. We are so grateful that she decided to come early and my son be a part of the birth experience and be able to bond with his daughter. Despite the fact that she was tiny, she was breathing on her own and as the doctors said…….a little miracle. She was still in the neonatal unit at the hospital when it came time for him to return to 29 Palms. As his mother, that was one of the hardest things I have had to experience with him. As he told his daughter goodbye and kissed her tiny cheeks we left the hospital and headed for the airport. The trip to the airport was long and very emotional, needless to say. We arrived at the airport about an hour before his flight was to leave. I will always cherish that hour that we had together just sharing stories, tears and a few laughs.

The hour passed by so fast and before I knew it, it was time to tell my son goodbye. I found myself holding on to him and not wanting to let him go. When he left I watched him until I could no longer see any part of him, then I sat and cried for an hour or so until I thought I had just about run out of tears. I could feel that pain he was going through of having to leave his daughter, and then my selfishness of not wanting him to go just made me cry even more. As I drove home from the airport and arrived home I could still smell his cologne and see the reminders of him and then it all started once again…….the tears began to fall. I could not stop thinking about him and what he must be going through on his flight to California.

He had to change planes in Phoenix, and while at the airport in Phoenix he was approached by a woman who could not help but notice he was quite upset, and said that she had overheard some of his phone conversation and that told her he was a Marine. She asked him if she could sit and pray with him. They sat and talked, and he of course shared pictures of his daughter, Zoe with her. She was there for him when he needed someone the most, and for that I will forever be greatful what the kindness she showed him that day. Ironically, she was on the same flight to Ontario with my son and during the flight made a point of walking back to check on him. She handed him her business card with her contact information on it. As soon as I heard about this I emailed her to thank her for her thoughtfulness. We have since become email buddies and are planning to meet when the guys come home in the Spring. She is definitely an angel sent down to watch over my son when he needed someone.

The same day that our boys deployed to Iraq, Zoe Ann came home from the hospital. She is doing great, weighs almost 5 lbs. now……..she is a fighter just like her dad!

I will continue to pray for all our boys, and ask God to keep them safe until they can return home to us again!

Semper Fi!

Posted by Deb at 12:08 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 01, 2004

A Marine Mom Speaks Out on the NYC Demonstrations

Theresa Bonopartis is the mother of a United States Marine. Her son is one of the brave men that protect and defend the rights of all Americans to exercise their right to both free speech and peaceful dissent, including the protestors in New York City. After watching news reports of the protestors carrying flag-draped cardboard coffins through the streets, many of us were appalled that these protestors would use the deaths of our brave men and women as political capital. They do not understand the meaning of sacrifice. One has to be able to sacrifice to understand its meaning.

Here is Theresa's editorial that appeared yesterday on MichNews.com. It speaks for many of us.

I am a new Marine mom. I must admit, although I always thought I respected the military, I had no clue about the extent of the sacrifices these families make to give us the freedoms we so often take for granted. I also did not know what an emotional roller coaster I myself would be on once my son made the decision to serve our country as a United States Marine. I admit, I do not understand all of the thinking of the military, and I probably never will; what I do know is these young men and women made the decision to serve, to protect and defend, and that they are well trained to do so. Over the past few months I have been blessed to correspond with many families of the Marines as they guide us new folks on the road of being part of the Marine family. I have celebrated with them as their sons or daughter received promotions. I have worried with those whose sons or daughters are in the sandbox. I have prayed with them as they voiced their fears and relayed serious wounds that need to heal and I have cried with them, when they have experienced that terrible knock at the door telling them that their children are not coming home. I have learned it truly is a family; one I am not always glad I now belong to because many time it is just too painful. The more time passes however, the prouder I am, and as I learn how amazing these military men and women are. Of course, I am most amazed at the degree of self-sacrifice, even to the point of death. A sacrifice that enables us the freedoms each one of us enjoys each day. A sacrifice that has bought with its blood over the years, the right to free speech and to demonstrate, as we will see over the next week. As I watched the “Anti-war” demonstration Sunday, I kept reminding myself of that as I read the hateful signs directed at our Commander-in-Chief. I strained to read as many of them as I could…”NO Draft”, “Keep Abortion Legal”, “Gay Marriage”, “Money for AIDS not for War” etc., etc. We all have the right to voice our opinions, that is what this country is all about, that is what the men and women in the military are there to ensure, however, when I saw the flag draped coffins in the midst of those signs, I have to admit, I became angry and it took me a while to remind myself that even this right soldiers have died for. Yes, being the parent of a military person is not easy, especially when you think of the people that exploit them like Michael Moore, or one of the many who voice concern for our troops but by their actions hurt their morale. You can’t help thinking they really do not care about the troops but only their own agendas. Personally, I hate the thought that my son may die for Michael Moore and his rights or the right of others who are so self-serving. Then I remind myself again, that this is the freedom our military is fighting for, yes, even Michael Moore. I know that many who read this will not like what I have said, but hey, I have a right to free speech too, and my son is risking his life for it.

Copyright ©2000-2004. MichNews.com. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with permission.

Posted by Deb at 01:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 29, 2004

ATT and me

I really liked my cellular phone service provider (Cellular One) and was a bit miffed when they sold out to ATT last spring. Cell One had great customer service and each time my son came home on leave, the local store would loan him a phone and add him to my account for a few weeks until he left again, so that he wouldn't have to change his plan or pay roaming charges. So, when I dropped into the newly renamed ATT store that first month to pay my cell phone bill and was informed that they didn't accept payments at the store level but I could mail it, pay it online, or call it in, I wasn't very happy. Not unhappy enough to change providers but not happy.

Last week, I dropped my phone into my dog's water dish. It was toast. Since my son was deploying to Iraq within days, I needed a phone immediately. I stopped in to see if I could get a loaner until a replacement phone arrived under the warranty and was told, "Oh, we don't do loaners."

You do not mess with a Marine Mom whose son is deploying within short order. Especially if she is PMSing. 15 minutes later, I walked out with a loaner phone. And one day later, I realized that the reason it was a loaner phone was because it would not hold a charge. Twenty minutes of talk time drains the battery. Last night, I was in Salem when the battery started beeping. My car charger wouldn't work and so I stopped in at yet another ATT store, 15 minutes before closing, and asked if they could charge it for a few minutes. They not only charged it but sent me home with a loaner car charger - this one worked. They didn't take my name or ask for a deposit. They trust me to bring back the charger and I will.

What a difference a store makes. And while I still plan to switch my plan to Sprint - they have the phone I want - I do appreciate the Salem store's helpful clerks. They not only support our troops but troop families too and that means a lot.

Posted by Deb at 09:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 27, 2004

Godspeed, 1/7 Marines

When my Marine was two years old, he went with me as I picked up my car from my mechanic. I made sure he was strapped securely into his car seat and started for home. At a stop light, my car died and I could not get it started again. The guy behind me in line asked me what was wrong and my reply was, "I don't know, I just had it fixed." A little voice from the back seat observed, "I think you need to get it fixed a little bit more, Mom."

This week, the first wave of 1/7 Marines left the 29 Palms Marine Base for a seven-month deployment in Iraq. At some point they may actually leave the United States. The first unplanned delay kept them on ground an extra 36 hours while they "fixed the plane". This morning, my son called from a mid-west airport. The plane needed to be fixed "a little bit more" and when the part arrives (which part? We don't need to know that. what???) they'll take off on the next leg of their trip. In the meantime, the Marines have landed. They slept in the lobby last night and the airline is feeding them, so they're happy. And, being Marines, they're performing recon in the concourses and scouting the gift shops for life rafts in case they end up rowing to Kuwait.

So, they'll land in the sandbox soon and head for Iraq, a country that needs to be fixed "a little bit more". I've talked with my son for hours this last week and am amazed at his level of motivation and commitment. He said, "I signed up for it, it's my job, and I have no worries. We've got our shit locked tight. I couldn't be in a better platoon. My Company has the best Marines anywhere and we are the best platoon in the Marine Corps. I am confident of that." That's okay, I'll worry for both of us. It's my job, I'm a mom.

They'll be in full Kevlar everywhere they go. They've spent the last ten months training hard, they have state-of-the-art protection, so the only other thing they need (and what they need more than anything else) is prayer.

He's one of the Marines that is qualified to assist Corpsmen in the field. Marine Mom Connie is working on acquiring additional IV equipment so that the guys can carry it with them. My online friends have also helped me find a product called Kwik Clot - if there's a casualty with heavy bleeding, this stuff is supposed to work wonders. I told him the tampon story and offered to send him a supply - he suggested that I send it to the Corpsmen instead. And to avoid associating it in any way with him.

I found a small fold-up stove that runs on fuel pellets yesterday and will send it in his first care package, along with hot chocolate mix, Easy Mac, etc. He also (this is a kid who, all through school, cheerfully offered my services for chaperoning field trips, bringing cupcakes into the classroom, etc.) volunteered me to send his platoon a laptop. Evidently, the C.O. is limiting laptops to one per platoon. None of the guys had one, so Shane said his mom would send one. Some things never change. I've got quite a list of things to send, and it gets longer every time he calls. I need to publicly thank my good friends at EAForums who have donated over $500 towards the laptop. It's something they can use for training, composing e-mails, watching movies, keeping up with online coursework, etc. There is an internet center but the wait is long and they guys are limited to 15-20 minutes at a stretch, so this will really help them maximize their time. My son shared this with his brother Marines and they were blown away that people they'd never met would do this for them. I am deeply appreciative.

Last year when the Marines from 1/7 were deployed to Iraq, they won the hearts and minds of the citizens of the Najaf province. They lived and worked in the cities of Al Hillah and Najaf throughout the summer months, helping with the rebuilding of the region and demonstrating to the residents that there was "no better friend, no worse enemy" than the United States Marines.

It worked. No Marines were lost, after the end of major hostilities last year, due to hostile action. The leadership of 1/7 (then Lt.Col. Conlin and SgtMaj Bergeron) had the respect and ear of Shiite leaders in the city. Our Marines were accorded respect and treated as guests. Here's a letter they sent last fall, shortly before they came home. It's worth reading again and will give you an idea of the caliber of men that protect and defend us.

To the Citizens of the United States,

On behalf of the Marine’s of First Battalion, Seventh Marines, First Marine Division, Twentynine Palms, California, we would like to take this opportunity, to thank all of you for your thoughts and your prayers. Since our arrival in Iraq, we have received numerous cards, letters and packages from the wonderful citizens and children of the United States. These cards, letters and packages were greatly appreciated and had a very positive impact on the morale of your Marines. Although we have gone through great lengths to ensure each received a proper reply, at times we were extremely busy and may have been unable to respond. The intent of this correspondence is to ensure that we have expressed our grateful appreciation to each and every one of you for your outstanding show of support for these fine young men.

While staged in Kuwait, our Marines were concerned with public opinion. Leaders were constantly asked about the pulse of the citizens back in the United States. At the time, things looked pretty grim. There were many Americans opposing the war and news of large protests broadcast on the BBC daily. Celebrities were using their status and making a charge of opposition. Our Marines were seeing the makings of another Vietnam and were not looking forward to the experience. Then the polls turned from negative to positive, and the news of such was passed throughout the battalion. At this point, the morale of our Marines went up significantly. Then came the cards, letters and packages. The enemy did not stand a chance. America was now united and headed towards Baghdad.

Prior to the beginning of hostilities, we were certain that the Marines of this battalion were an extremely confident and capable fighting force. Having seen them in action, we can assure you that your Marines have performed above and beyond our highest expectations. During the early stages of the war, they continuously found themselves in some very dangerous and challenging situations. In every case, they responded with the confidence, courage and determination necessary to defeat the enemy forces. Their collective performance and sacrifices have demonstrated to the Iraqi people that as United States Marines, there could be no better friend (for those who wished peace) yet, no worst enemy (for those who chose war). It was this mentality that contributed greatly to achieving such an overwhelming success in such a short duration of time. We cannot tell you how proud we are to have had the honor and privilege of serving with the Marines and Sailors of this battalion. They are superb Americans who represented their country very well.

Our ability to return these men safely back to their families and loved ones upon our return was the ultimate goal of this battalion. Through the grace of God, which we believe was in the response to your prayers, we have not lost a single member of this command. Unfortunately, some of our sister battalions and sister services were not so fortunate. On behalf of this battalion, we offer them and their families our deepest and most sincere condolences. They were brave Americans who served their country honorably. They will be missed. May God be with them and may they rest in peace.

The major hostilities have now ended. Although the Marines are anxious to return home and reunite with their loved ones, they continue to remain focused and understand the importance of their current mission. The focus of this mission is the stabilization of the country of Iraq. In support of this mission, our Marines continue to patrol the streets ensuring the safety of the Iraqi people and the potential success of the Iraqi communities. The Marines continue to hunt down and apprehend resistance forces whose sole intent is to disrupt the current stability that has already been achieved within most major cities. Importantly, they repair schools, government facilities and restore basic utilities in order for the Iraqi people to return to an acceptable standard of living. Although most of these tasks are not combat related, these requirements are no less important in achieving a smooth transition towards peace and democracy.

We understand that back in the United States, there has been some negative publicity in reference to the acceptance of our presence by the Iraqi people. We personally have not experienced this. Although there are some individuals who do not welcome our presence, the vast majority of the people are extremely happy that we remained committed to their cause and grateful for their newly found freedoms. We base this assessment not on news reports, but on the daily contact we have had with the local population.

The children here are extremely pleasant and happy. They run towards the streets with big smiles on their faces just to wave hello to the Marines as they drive by in hopes that their waves will be returned and their presence acknowledged. They often crowd around the patrolling Marines seeking autographs or just a chance to say "hello" close and personal. Personal touch is far more significant in their culture than it is ours. A simple handshake is all it takes to make their day complete. They will usually return for many more. The little girls offer the Marines flowers as a sign of affection and gratitude. Although the Marines are pleased with the fact that they have brought so much happiness to the people of Iraq, for them, it is a very humbling experience.

Iraqi men of all ages engage the Marines in conversation on a daily basis while women stand in doorways waving and smiling or offering them a cold drink of water or a shot of Iraqi tea. Grown men will shake your hand and, with tears in their eyes, thank us for freeing their nation while offering us their blessings. Once tight lipped, they now speak freely of the horrific years under Sadaam. In the past, they would have had their tongues removed for such statements. With this restriction eliminated, today’s typical phrases are "Down with Saddam", We love U.S.A", "We love you", and yes, "We love George Bush". Just recently we were honored to see "WE THANK U.S.A" written in large letters and repeated three times on a wall in the streets of An Najaf. Contrary to some reports, the request we most often receive from the Iraqi people is that we not leave. Some still believe that should we leave, Sadaam (who is now the Iraqi "boogie man") will reappear and destroy them. We continue to reassure them that Sadaam will never and can never return to power.

The Iraqi people that we have had the pleasure of meeting are generally very good people. Although they have no desire to be a United States, they are very open to the ideals of democracy. The country of Iraq is beautiful and rich in resources. With the implementation of an honest government and under a democratic rule, they have the potential of becoming a prosperous and peaceful nation.

How could this have all happened in such a short period of time? Based on your heartwarming cards and letters, it could easily be assumed to be our actions and ours alone. The truth of the matter is that this success can be attributed to you, the American people. For it is the support of the American people from which our Marines draw their will to fight and their determination to win. When their country calls upon them, with the support of the people, Marines will give the ultimate sacrifice before they let them down. Failure is not an option and a retreat is a place to get away and take a long deserved break. We consider neither during combat!!!

As stated in some of your cards and letters, our Marines have performed heroically and with pride however, even we have heroes and we would like to acknowledge some of ours:

First to our Commander and Chief, the Honorable Mr. George W. Bush who stood up when many others sat down. He demonstrated outstanding leadership at a time when diplomacy had failed. Mr. President, we are proud to have served under your command and prouder yet to be Americans. God bless you and God bless the United States of America.

We thank those who have served before us for all they have given us. You have left us with a legacy and a reputation that intimidated and cowered most of the enemy forces before we ever met on the battlefield. For those who did not believe in this reputation, we convinced them once we engaged!!! Word spread fast and because of this, many lives were saved. Thank you!!! We only hope that we lived up to your expectations.

Semper Fidelis!!!!

Last but surely not the least are the American people who stood behind our President and their military in support of a difficult global decision. During this crisis, the world needed a leader and in typical fashion, the American people showed them one! Now the war has ended and the Iraqi people are free to show their gratitude, you can take comfort in knowing that "It was the right decision".

While patrolling the streets of Iraq, we do not see or hear any thing like, "We love Marines", God Bless Marines, or "Thank you Marines". What we hear and see is, "We Love America", and "THANK YOU U.S.A.". Remember, "America is us". So tonight before you go to bed, take a look in the mirror, take a moment for yourself, understand the impact you have made on the lives of the Iraqi people and pat yourself on the back. You have an admirer. In fact you have 174,000 of them. You are our heroes!!! Our men may not be celebrities and they may not have a celebrity status, but they are United States Marines who serve in the forces, which keep our country free. They are willing to give their lives in its defense and in our opinion, you can’t beat that!!!

Once again, we would like to thank you all for your patriotism, unselfishness and overwhelming support. May other countries take notice. The United States of America will not be threatened, intimidated, nor will they shirk their international responsibilities. They will retaliate when necessary and it will be costly. BECAUSE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE SAY SO!!!!! God bless each of you and God bless the United States of America.

As these brave men return to Iraq this month, they deserve that same overwhelming support. My heart goes with them, in the uniform of a United States Marine. LCpl Shane Conrad, I am so proud of you and am counting down the days until we welcome you back home. Oohrah!

Posted by Deb at 02:56 PM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

August 26, 2004

Every vote counts

Former Marine and rising country star, Adam Marshall, is on the home stretch of his quest to win the Country Line Magazine CD review competition for August, but could use a few more votes to maintain his margin of victory.

The scuttlebutt is that his closest competition discovered that Adam has the Marine family community voting for him and called in the Army. Nice try! At this point, we're not sure when the contest closes but we'll keep voting until it does.

Adam penned the lyrics on his debut album while deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom last year. He had our back then; we have his back now. Please vote for him here.

UPDATE!!
Adam won! He was just notified that the vote margin was 423 ahead - thanks to everyone who voted for him. His debut CD is in the process of being released. Listen for it on a radio station near you.

Posted by Deb at 11:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 24, 2004

A Marine Corps Baby Shower

Early last April, the 6th ESB in Portland laid to rest one of their own, Sgt. Curtis Jones. Yesterday, Marines, friends, family members, and co-workers gathered to remember Curtis and celebrate the impending birth of his son to his beloved wife, Bobbi. There were both tears and laughter. There was a huge Curtis-sized hole in the room but knowing that Bobbi will soon give birth to baby Devan is a blessing that will help heal this family.

Several months ago, Marine Mom Janise e-mailed LtCol Thomas of the 6th ESB, asking if she could hostess a baby shower for Bobbi. While the image of "baby shower" and "Marine Corps" do not often occur in the same thought, LtCol Thomas immediately responded and shared the idea with two of his officers. The next day, the Inspector Instructor, Major Larson, replied that "baby showers are absolutely a Marine thing" and in true USMC fashion immediately delegated the task to the best (wo)man for the job - his wife Wendy.

For the past six weeks, Wendy, Janise, Claudia Jones (Curt's mom), and Gayle Roberts (Bobbi's stepmom) have been working hard to plan the shower. And here's how it tuned out:

	Bobbi and her friends.
The banana poppyseed cake was beautiful and delicious too.
	LCpl David Martin and Bobbi discuss the differences and similarities of bottle warmers and hand puppets.
Gayle Roberts (Bobbi's stepmom), Wendy Larson (Major Larson's wife and shower organizer), and Deb Bruns (Gold Star Marine Mom to Cedric Bruns).
	Bobbi and Claudia Jones (Curt's mom) looks on as Janise reads one of the cards.
Sgt. James Miller with wife Rebecca and son Caleb; Robert Roberts (Bobbi's dad), Bobbi, and Capt JR Rinaldi (6th ESB Commanding Officer)
	LCpl David Martin works on a project with two pint-sized helpers.

Bobbi was showered not only with gifts but with love from her extended Marine Corps Family. While Curtis is gone, little Devan will have a battalion of uncles that will step in, as Marines always have, to care for their own. Once a Marine Corps Family, always a Marine Corps Family.

For those of us who did not know Curtis, we can get a glimpse of his personality by reading this eulogy, written by his mother, that was read at his funeral:

The World Became Brighter When You Were Born
By Claudia Jones

Curtis was a son, brother, husband, and soon to be a father. He lived to the fullest with every ounce of joy that could be found in life. He knew no stranger and gave his friendship and smiles freely.

Always strong and determined, Curtis entered this world one brilliant morning on July 21, 1971 at Fort Sam Houston Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas.

From Texas, Curtis and his family moved to New Mexico, where he spent his days in the sun playing with his brother and close friends. There was never a slow day for Curtis; it was moving in the fast lane no matter what he was doing. He learned to run instead of crawl and kept going from that day. In New Mexico, Curtis learned to love the out doors, camping, hiking, and learning about nature.

This love of the out doors continued when Curtis moved to Laramie, Wyoming where he would spend the majority of his childhood. Fond memories surrounded his life in Wyoming. There, his life became richer from being with nature and any thing fast.

The family continued to hike during all seasons and types of weather, tent camping turned into the joy of back packing and fishing. Curtis loved to sit outside the tent at night with his dad and brother, Mike, and star gaze. That is why you would see a telescope in his dorm room or apartment. The love of adventure and nature followed him.

While in Wyoming, Curtis became a trail bike rider. Since you can ride a trail bike on and off the streets with a license at 14, Curtis spent many afternoons and days just exploring the country and mountain areas around his home. Sometimes going farther than his parents realized.

This sense of adventure and daring kept going through his high school years, where he was involved in track and swimming. Curt may not have been the fastest swimmer, but he had determination to keep going and do his hardest to complete what he started.

When Curtis moved to Vancouver, Washington his senior year, he did it with no regrets at leaving his old life and moving into the unknown. He saw this move as an adventure ? to learn about new things, places and people. Never did he once regret the move or complain. With the move came finding new friends at Mt. View High School where he graduated in 1989 and at work ? selling shoes at the Jantzen Beach Foot Locker during his senior year.

College again proved to be an adventure and again find new friends. Determined to pay his way, Curtis used his love of swimming to work as a lifeguard at the Camas pool, teach swimming to children at several Vancouver athletic clubs, work at Good Samaritan Hospital as an aide helping elderly and disabled patients in water therapy. He attended several junior colleges before receiving an associate?s degree from Clark College in Arts and Science. At Mt. Hood Community College, Curtis was chosen to work as a business intern and lifeguard at Disney World in Florida where he attended business classes and graduated from ?Mickey U?, as Curtis called it.

Taking his love of politics and adventure, Curt attended Western Washington State University in Bellingham. There, he continued his joy of the water by joining the sculling and university crew teams. He was also a dorm representative and started a weekly letter to inform the students about the campus activities and their rights. This letter earned Curtis an award for his efforts.

While in Bellingham, Curtis joined the Marine Reserve. His love of adventure was met with his joy of being with his fellow Marines and feeling of doing something to help others. Of course, it did not hurt to be able to drive BIG trucks and go to exotic, far away places for two weeks. The exoticness lessened after two trips to the desert of California.

Curtis loved going overseas and working with his unit building schools, hospitals, roads and bridges for the under privileged people.

When Curtis returned to Vancouver, he began working at Starbucks. During his work history, he helped open more than 5 new Starbucks and train even more new employees. Curt met each day with a challenge and determination.

It was Curt?s determination, smile, warmth and ?sparkling blue? eyes that won the attention and heart of his wife, Bobbi one day in October at 164th Starbuck. Bobbi was studying for a promotion and, as Curtis would say, talking on her cell. She motioned to him that it was cold in the coffee shop, and being a dashing young knight, he rescued her with a cup of hot water with a note for her to use it as a hand warmer. This kind act soon turned into love.

The love grew faster than either of them expected. By the time Curtis?s Marine Reserve unit was activated for Iraq in the end of January, they had decided that they would spend their life together.
Bobbi would wait for Curt?s return from duty.

Curtis?s return came sooner than any of us expected. It started with a call from a doctor?s office with important and private results from a test. This test result would tragically ask for more determination than Curtis had ever experience. A call to the Red Cross stopped Curt?s deployment and brought him home and a change in life.

Curtis and Bobbi?s bond grew, and by June, each decided that they could not live without the other. There was no reason to search any longer; love had been found for each of them.

Within four weeks a wedding was planned. Days and nights were spent working out the details. Curtis helping to make table decorations with Bobbi and his parents late into the night on his parent?s patio.

The day of the wedding proved even more joyful than either expected. The chosen harp music played throughout the day and night expressing their love.

This love kept strong while waiting for details of Curtis?s illness, his stem cell transplant, and his hospital stay. We all felt that the transplant would bring health and happiness.

Health and happiness would not happen. Even with Curtis?s deep desire and determination to beat the odds of his disease, it did not occur. Through out his hospital stay, he was loved and cared for by his wife, parents and hospital staff. His warmth and thoughtfulness showed in his smile and kind words for others. He never complained about his pain - just the hospital food. When Curtis left us Sunday, April 4, 2004, he was mourned by more than just his wife, family and friends, the hospital staff and doctors, also, felt this loss.

We had hoped for a miracle and that Curtis?s determination and strength would keep him with us, but it wasn?t to be. His smiles, humor, love and deep, blue eyes will always be in our memory and in his and Bobbi?s child that will be born in October.

Curt, we will love you always.

Posted by Deb at 04:34 AM | Comments (2)

August 22, 2004

"We Laughed Hard and Cried Proud"

By: Linda Kelly Roffe (Mother of LCPL Frank)

Attending the Marine Parent Conference, July 30th in Indianapolis prior to seeing my son off to Iraq was worth every effort in getting there. To come together with so many Marine Parents on a national level was amazingly therapeutic.

Although the conference attendees were from diverse professional backgrounds, income levels, religions and personalities… we all bonded instantly as a Marine family. Whether our kids were starting boot, deployed, have come home or leaving for their second tour… one commonality linked us together… our children in harms way. The parent-children traditional roles have been reversed. For the first time our children are taking care of us—our country—and leaving parents powerless. Our children may have volunteered to be Marines but “we” as moms and dads have been drafted.

I’ve discovered that from Marine graduates to 3rd generation Marine families—they all shared the same pride and anxiety as one emotion. I was impressed that I didn’t hear negative opinions, politics, or complaints at this conference. It was not a pep rally. Everyone shared useful information, experiences and genuine sentiment. We laughed hard and cried proud.

The Presenters were informative and moving. Speakers included famous author, Frank Schaeffer; General Carol Mutter; Marine social worker, Max Beerup; new country star, Marine Adam Marshall; care package senders Operation Interdependence; an open panel of experts with psychiatrists and Marines; Tracy Della Vechia; and many more supporters and vendors. The entertainment was heartfelt and there was plenty social time, for some until 3 am. The food was first-rate and had many generous contributors for the silent auction. I was happy to donate Oohrah, Semper Fi, and MRE wildlife photo posters. A couple more posters were donated to the Madison, Wisconsin USMC parent event in September.

I left the MP conference with a better perception of “Semper Fi” and a deeper understanding of what’s normal for Marine Parents to feel and behave—what’s normal for our Marines to feel and behave. The conference created Marine sisters and brothers—a new family—a support group to help us through day-to-day unease. As Frank Schaeffer states, “As the storm clouds of war gather, at least I know that I can look the men and women in uniform in the eye. My son is one of them. He is the best I have to offer. He is my heart.”

Frank is a gifted writer. Reading “Faith of our Sons” is relief in itself because he nails your feelings with just the right words every time. His site can be visited at www.FrankSchaeffer.com. Marine Adam Marshall just back from Iraq who is making it in the country music world can be visited at www.thelastmarshall.com. The 2005 MP conference will be in Kansas City. Watch for details at www.MarineParents.com and www.marinecorpsmoms.com.

Posted by Deb at 10:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 10, 2004

If you think Marines are tough, try being a Marine Mom

It's all in a days work. Linda Roffe, a Marine Corps mom from Montana is a photographer who specializes in outdoor photography. Here's a typical day at her office:

	Dancing with bears. Linda reports that this little cub has very sharp teeth.
Cuddling with 5 week old wolf cubs.

Linda's son will soon deploy in support of OIF II. I think we should send her too - anyone who can handle bears and wolves with just a camera would make short work of the unrest over there.

Posted by Deb at 11:36 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 07, 2004

Partings

My son, Lance Corporal Shane Conrad, has been home for several weeks on predeployment leave. We've had a wonderful visit - they've been bouncing back and forth between various family members, making contacts and memories. We had a wonderful dinner out, thanks to the generosity of a former Marine and his wife who have never met my son but support him and all our troops. Last night, we gathered at his dad's house for a farewell BBQ. (For those who care, all smoke, no sauce. It was wonderful.) This morning, he and his wife are returning to their home base at 29 Palms - it's been wonderful having them home but he has a job to do and a mission to complete with the help of his brother Marines. He is fully motivated to finish the task that they began last year - his battalion was the first over and the last to return.

Eleven months later, they will once again travel around the world, this time to the Al Anbar province. The Marines who have been there since March have done an awesome job of helping the Iraqi people bring stability to their country. They are ready to come home to a well-earned rest. And the 1/7 has been training hard and is ready to go at the end of August. Prayers for their safety and protection as they return to a war zone would be deeply appreciated.

Posted by Deb at 08:29 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 05, 2004

Godspeed, Recruit Sensing

Another Marine in the making, Donald Sensing's son Stephen is immersed in the rigors of boot camp at Marine Corps Recruit Depot - Parris Island. Congratulations to the Sensings for raising a son who is willing to put personal comfort and convenience aside to provide service to his country. It's no small sacrifice, and some families sacrifice more than others. Stephen's grandfather retired from the Air Force. Stephen's father retired from the Army.

Last week, Recruit Sensing stood on the yellow footsteps at Parris Island with other recruits, normal kids who enjoy extreme sports, loud music, and fast cars. By now, he's well into his first week of training. He's met his drill instructors who are tasked with taking individual civilians and turning them into the best trained and most effective fighting force in the world. He is learning the customs and courtesies of the Corps and the rich history that defines why the USMC continues to be an integral part of our armed forces on the shores of Kuwait and in the deserts of Iraq and Afghanistan. These recruits are the lastest chapter in a proud history; Guadalcanal, Guam, and Iwo Jima. Inchon. Chosin. Belleau Wood. Fallujah. And in 11 weeks, one of the newest Marines will escort his parents through the museum at Parris Island as their own tour guide, sharing this history without notes. He will know it, just as he will know his weapons. He won't have a choice; his drill instructors will see to that.

The boot camp process transforms recruits. It brings out hidden strength. It changes them, like heat changes coal, iron ore, and limestone, into steel. They are steeped in the Corps values of honor, courage, and commitment. And, the end product is bigger, stronger, better than the individual elements. This is put to the test during the Crucible. In the field of metallurgy, a crucible is a container in which raw materials are heated to a high temperature and transformed into something more than the original contents. The necessary properties of a crucible are that it maintain its strength and structure under extreme stress and that it not react in an undesirable way with its contents.

In the Marine Corps, the Crucible Event tests the mettle of Marine recruits who have completed seventy-eight days of boot camp. Over a timespan of 54 hours, they march 40 miles while carrying 40-pound packs and wearing ammo pouches cartridge belts, and canteens. They overcome a series of obstacles through cooperation and collaboration. They endure increasingly demanding conditions while experiencing sleep deprivation and hunger. In the process, they are transformed into the few, the proud, the Marines.

When the Sensing family gathers, eleven weeks from today, to watch their son as he is awarded the title of United States Marine, it will be a defining moment in their family history. And their son will be one more link in the history of the United States Marine Corps. Oohrah!

Posted by Deb at 08:48 AM | Comments (2)

August 04, 2004

Mattis and his Marines

Most reports of military life in a war zone come from the troops. Here's one by Pamela Hess, a Pentagon correspondent who wears a "straw hat, long skirts, braids" instead of camouflage.

. . . the worse conditions are, the better Marines seem to like it. Marines at a dusty outpost on the Syrian border take great pride they are not serving instead at "Camp Chocolate Cake," as they refer to Al Asad, home of the 7th Regimental Combat Team. Everything here is relative. To an American eye it is downright bleak. But inside row upon row of plywood buildings it is cool. A Marine doesn't care how hot he gets as long as he knows he has a cool place to sleep, I'm told.

An air conditioned place to sleep is one of the things 1st Marine Division Commander Maj. Gen. Jim Mattis requires for his troops.

Just one of the reasons his troops would walk through fire for him. Here's another:

"He leads from the front," one Marine noted in the cool and noisy morale, welfare and recreation tent at Camp Blue Diamond. It has a pool table, a ping pong table, foosball, Nintendo, a large-screen TV, 20 Internet monitors, a library filled with cast off magazines and paperbacks, and a seemingly perpetual dominos game that somehow the Marines have turned into a full contact sport.

When Mattis' "jump platoon" goes out in a convoy - it is regularly attacked and has been hit by improvised explosive devices at least twice - it is not uncommon for the general to have his head out the turret, assuming the same risk as the gunners, say Marines.

A lieutenant colonel gave a more specific example of leading from the front: when the Iraqi-led Fallujah Brigade was created, Mattis decided it needed a test run to see if the native force could actually keep order in the city after weeks of fighting. He sent a Marine convoy through town to see if it would be shot at. He was in the convoy.

For a number of reasons, morale isn't as much of a problem with Marines as with other troops.

Late one night, a female officer was leaving the command operations center when she said pleasantly to a corporal standing guard: "How are you, Marine?"

The corporal was completely alone in the pitch-black loggia of one of Saddam's former palaces, and would be there for hours more before he was relieved.

"Motivated!" he thundered back, cheerily, from the dark.

As a mother whose USMC son will be returning to the Al Anbar province later this month, knowing that my son serves under this type of leadership is hugely reassuring. I'll still worry; I'm a mom and that's my job. But I have utmost confidence in his leadership and not all mothers can say that.

Posted by Deb at 01:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Another Mama Speaks Out

Mamamontezz has a must-read letter to our troops in response to Joe Roche's lament over Fahrenheit 9/11's impact on our deployed troops. Here's a snippet, but do read the whole thing.

The motives of any person who would download this film, burn it to a disk, and mail it to a young, exhausted, and vulnerable man or woman far from home doing what has to be the world's most difficult and thankless job have got to be questioned by sane and rational people. Any person who would do this is nothing less than thoughtless and cruel. I liken this behavior to telling "dead baby jokes" to a couple who has recently lost an infant, or amputee jokes to someone who is still learning to use his newly fitted prosthetics.

Michael Moore has an agenda, a very specific agenda, which he promotes with this film: The overthrow of a sitting president for the purpose of weakening this country and her military. He is Jane Fonda in a fat suit. He very obviously cherry-picked those he interviewed and then edited what was said in such a way to make their words as damning to their fellow fighting men and women as possible, and to undermine all sense of duty, honor, and patriotism in each of you, as well as in as many of us who remain at home as possible.

Spc. Roche is right that the youngest of you is the most vulnerable to his deceits, and because of this, you have been targeted for his venom. By undermining your confidence in yourselves, in your NCOs, in your officers, and ultimately in your Commander-in-Chief, he forwards his agenda and comes ever so much closer to accomplishing that which he prizes and seeks so openly. By turning your pride and spirit into despair and anger, he destroys you and all who depend on you. He knows and depends on the fact that when you begin to question yourself, you become a danger to yourself and to the man or woman who stands beside you, and you become a liability to your comrades, to your unit, and to your mission.

She finishes up with this call to action:

It is up to each of us to counter what this man has done, and to heal those who's hearts and minds bear his bitter wounds. Do what's right. Send your support. However small or insignificant you may think it is, there is no such thing. Tell someone you support them and the job they're doing in your name, in our names.

Amen.

Posted by Deb at 11:57 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 03, 2004

It's a girl!

Matt from Blackfive has a birth announcement posted. Born yesterday, 7 lb. 13 oz., 20 inches. The vital statistics don't do her justice. She's beautiful. Please go add a comment - I'm sure the thread will be printed out for her baby book.

Posted by Deb at 06:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 01, 2004

These boots were made for dancing

We're still at the Marine Corps Parent convention and will be heading home today . . . got in far too late last night to update anything. And we slept in far too late this morning to do anything but post this picture:

From left to right, Marine Corps Moms Connie, Linda, Janise, and Deb.

Posted by Deb at 07:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 31, 2004

Standing in the Gap

We are in Indianapolis today, attending the 2004 USMC Parents Conference. Approximately 150 parents, mostly from the midwest, have gathered to share ideas and support. Here are a few photos from last night's reception:

	The Marine Corps Moms from Oregon; Connie, Deb, and Janise, plus Linda from Montana.
Deb with another 1/7 Marine Mom - both our sons will redeploy next month as their battalion returns to Iraq. I met Jackie last year when 1/7 came back from Iraq in October. And I'm sure I'll see her again when they come back next March.
	The reception was an enjoyable way to meet new friends and share support. The cake was good too! Last night's agenda included a silent auction and a short program.
Max Beerup introduces Marine Dad and entertainer, Bob Bennett. Max has been a source of help to Marine parents for years. I relied on his information to help me plan my trip to my son's graduation from boot camp. It was very nice to meet him in person.
	Bob Bennett performed a selection of songs that made us laugh and cry. He knows very well the mix of emotions that comes with having a child at war. Bob gave copies of his CD "My Heart Across The Ocean" to each person in attendance, and provided a download link to other families who would like a copy. "So I pray my prayers as best as I can And hold on tight to the notion that all of life is in God's hands And my heart is across the ocean

Today's agenda includes workshops on a wide range of subjects including Boot Camp 101, connecting online, scrapbooking, comfort quilts, and support groups.

Posted by Deb at 05:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 30, 2004

Meet the Moms

As we fly to Indianapolis today for the Marine Corps Parents Convention, we'd like to introduce ourselves to you. Read our rationale for building this site and our individual biographies here. That page defines us as Marine Corps Moms. Beyond that, we are close friends in real life. Each of us are single parents. We are all Marine Corps Moms. We all enjoy life to the utmost. While we have much in common, we are also as individual as our hair color. Here's a glimpse into our unique personalities as defined by a cheesy personality test:

Janise, on the left, describes herself as a full-blooded bull who is charged by - instead of charging at - red. Doesn't she look good in that red sweater? Here is her personality profile:

You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a candle burning at both ends. You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best. In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself. Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate. You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.

Janise has a big heart with endless capacity for love and has put much energy during the past year into reaching out to the families of fallen Marines. And she periodically recharges with an evening of salsa dancing - she's hard to keep up with.

Connie, wearing the white sweater is the grounding force for our little group. She's blonde . . . but don't underestimate her. She is a strong intelligent woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to reach out and take what life offers. Here's Connie's profile:

You are an SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

That's Connie - right down to the beautiful car and charismatic personality.

Deb, on the right (that's me!), is a redhead with an attitude to match. Here's my profile:

You are an SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes you a mob boss. You are the ultimate alpha person and even your friends give you your space. You can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. You don't make many jokes, but when you do, others laugh out loud. They must. People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. You are calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Yours is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy. You have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. Your charisma is striking and without artifice. You are generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things. Please don't kick my ass.

It's an amazingly accurate profile, except for the suit - substitute blue jeans and strappy sandals, please. And I'll only kick your ass if you have it coming.

Posted by Deb at 02:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 29, 2004

Blogging from the Convention

Not the Democratic Convention where all the other bloggers are . . . the three of us are headed off to the Marine Corps Parents Convention in Indianapolis this weekend. We leave early tomorrow morning and will be back Sunday evening. If the hotel's promise of internet access holds true, we'll be posting from the convention.

This summer a gathering like no other will take place in America's heartland. A first ever national, two-day conference for the proud families of our United States Marines. Imagine the wonderful experience of bringing together Marine parents and families from all over the country and Canada. How exciting to have hundreds of USMC parents from small towns to big cities, from East coast to West coast, all sharing the common bonds: Love for a Marine and the pride of their unwavering commitment to serve their country.

We'll have our t-shirts and sweatshirts (coming soon to this website) and a few other items to sell - all proceeds will go to support our Marines. And, we hope to meet a few more proud Marine Corps Moms and Dads.

Posted by Deb at 12:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 05, 2004

An Oregon 4th of July

Last week, Greyhawk invited participation in a "blogospheric Independence Day celebration" as a way to share our pride in this land of liberty, share a glimpse of home with troops in faraway places with a different type of fireworks, and to share with the rest of the world a view of Americans celebrate 228 years of independence. Here's how we celebrated at Connie's house here in Oregon:

	Connie, Marine Mom of Corporal Bill Riecke, and Shea, Bill's sister, discuss an owie on Shea's foot.
Anjee (Bill's girlfriend who is visiting for a few days) and Shea.
	Do not play poker with this woman. She not only takes chips but checks and debit cards as well.
After the barbecued hamburgers and hotdogs, it's time for dessert. Since we are Marine Moms, we decided on red, white, and blueberry.
	The kids couldn't wait for dark. They spent their allowances at local fireworks stands and set off fireworks all afternoon.
All men seem to be little boys at heart on Independence Day. Jamin and Rascone make an improvised explosive device that causes no damage but does make a very large BOOM.
	After dark, the culdesac is lined with chairs as neighbors congregate to watch a neighborhood fireworks display. We weren't the only ones - the skies around the neighborhood were lit up for several hours with incendiary displays.
The Marine Moms behind this website: Connie, Deb, and Janise.

Posted by Deb at 11:29 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Independence Day Redux

When my son was in Iraq last year, he called me on July 3rd (it was the 4th in Iraq) to wish me a happy Independence Day. After months of MREs, the Navy cooks barbecued hamburgers and hot dogs, and served cold soft drinks. Standard picnic fare back here but a real treat for our troops. It was a tough day to be apart from him - we had spent the last 11 years of 4th of July weekends at the World Championship Timber Carnival in Albany, OR where he competed in the log rolling competitions and I volunteered from dawn to dusk, tallying scores and patiently answering the same questions over and over. It was a great way to spend a very American holiday.

Times change. The Timber Carnival has now morphed into an all-sports competition and my son is a United States Marine. When I asked him last year if he missed being at home, doing fireworks with his friends, he said that while it would be fun, he was satisfied to be in Iraq helping to keep our country safe so that the rest of us could enjoy a carefree holiday.

This year, he's here for the 4th. He called me from somewhere in Nevada yesterday - he and his wife were headed to a lake where some of his Marine brothers were camped. They didn't have a tent but they had each other and that was all that mattered. Shane thought they'd just sleep under the stars (his wife was less thrilled about that) since they are saving their money for a trip home later this month before he deploys in August. He's no less committed than he was last year. And this year, he has even more reason to defend and protect. Thank you to my son and all the other sons, daughters, husbands, and wives who have left the comfort of home to serve our country. It's not a small thing.

Posted by Deb at 10:18 AM

July 04, 2004

4th of July through a Marine Corps Mom's eyes

Today we have the freedom to celebrate the gift of liberty that was given to all Americans by Americans on the 4th of July, 1776. I celebrate that my son chose to serve his country and to rise to the challenge of becoming a US Marine. On October 8, 2001 when he left for bootcamp I was not in agreement with his decision. I knew, as a mom knows, that my son would change and that his strong values, commitment to his country and family, and his integrity would lead him to places and events that would no doubt put him in harms way.

I was right and I was scared.

Bill courageously served his country in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom last year. Now, as Corporal Riecke, he is a vehicle commander with 3/7, Weapons Co.and once again deployed in Iraq. He is very proud of his fellow Marines, our country, and the commitment we have to help all people around the world. Bill has stated many times "I would not change a thing, if being in Iraq fighting this war means my family is safe and free I will stay here." And although he is shot at and under attack daily he continues to stand strong that people should have the chance to live free and without fear.

Our Marines and soldiers have courageously given their all this past year. They have given up their freedom and put their lives on hold for the safety of us all and for the people of Iraq. I will celebrate with my family, minus one, this 4th of July, but this year I will celebrate our sons and daughters who unselfishly and bravely serve their country.

Posted by Deb at 10:17 PM | Comments (2)

June 29, 2004

I view Iraq through the lens of my son

This op-ed was written by a Marine Corps Dad, David J. Webber, who speaks for Marine Corps parents everywhere.

My eldest son, Lance Cpl. Stephen Webber, is a Marine serving in Iraq. Thousands of other parents have sons and daughters there, too. More than 130,000 families have loved ones in Iraq. Lots of people are going about their daily lives with their minds and hearts elsewhere.

Stephen graduated from high school in 2001, finished boot camp in March 2003, and returned to his junior year at college in the fall. Like many other reservists, he was activated last December and reported for more training in January. It's likely he will be in Iraq until fall, but military plans change quickly.

His absence is a distraction, his location a matter of concern. I feel the way a lot of people felt after 9/11 - a bit bummed out, easily distracted, not quite right. The cure for me at that time was to see Stephen, who was away at college.

I have a while to wait this time.

Having a son become a Marine is a startling process. One doesn't join the Marines; one becomes a Marine. It's a serious undertaking. Marines are different. It's enough to cause most parents plenty of concern.

It will be a relief when he becomes a veteran.

Stephen enlisted in the Marines because of his respect for the World War II generation, his concern with social equality, and his sense of social responsibility and political obligation. If our country has decided we need a military, he argued, why should he not do his part?

Since Stephen was about 6 he has been interested in military history. When Stephen Ambrose, the best-selling author, died two years ago, my son e-mailed me that "outside the family, Ambrose probably has had as much influence on me as anyone." Mr. Ambrose is in good company. Stephen has had several influential Scoutmasters, soccer coaches, relatives, neighbors, and teachers. My son would be much different had he been raised in a dictatorial society, ravaged by war, and undernourished as a growing boy.

I have learned more about the military and foreign policy because of Stephen. I have read several books I would not have read had he not suggested them. He seemed to especially like James Bradley's "Flags of our Fathers." I now have a deeper respect for Marine slogans such as "there is no better friend or worse enemy than a US Marine."

While I expect history will judge our military action against Saddam Hussein as unwise and more costly than most of us can imagine, I believe now we have a moral and political obligation to restore Iraq to self-sufficiency. It is great consolation to me that Stephen is contributing to the reconstruction, rather than the destruction, of Iraq.

People cope in different ways. Learning the details of another suicide bomber or the workings of mortars or RPGs (rocket-propelled grenades) doesn't calm my anxiousness.

While I appreciate the kind words of understanding and support people offer me, I don't need sympathy. What I need is to run with Stephen at a nearby park. I need to hear his voice and his views on the 9/11 commission or the upcoming elections.

With Stephen in Iraq, I am less willing to debate the politics of the war or how it should be resolved. I am dealing with the personal side of America's being in Iraq. It is as if I am preparing myself should misfortune befall him or he comes home a stranger to me. His being in Iraq is a distraction.

I think about him and our nation's involvement in Iraq as any parent would. I wish he did not see human suffering - Iraqi or American. I worry he might come to physical harm or lose his zest for life because of the heavy demands being made on his body and mind.

People tell me I should be proud of my son. While "pride" doesn't seem to capture my feelings, I know what they mean. I admire Stephen's courage, character, idealism, kindness, and strength. He is the kind of guy you want to have on your side.

I remember leaving the hospital a few hours after he was born 21 years ago this month. There was dew on the grass and the sun was rising over the mountains where we lived. Birds were chirping, and people were just waking up.

I looked out across the hills, over the campus, the houses, and downtown, and thought, "Almost everybody's life today will be pretty much like yesterday. But because of Stephen, my life will be changed forever."

Indeed it was. Indeed it was.

Posted by Deb at 01:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 19, 2004

Happy Father's Day to all Marine Corps Dads

Frank Schaeffer, father of LCpl John Schaeffer and author of Keeping Faith, was recently interviewed by Jim Lehrer . Here's what he had to say about his feelings as the father of a Marine.

FRANK SCHAEFFER: The military records of the presidential candidates are hot topics. But as the father of a member of our military, I'm less interested in the candidate's past service than in asking "Where are their children?"

From March through December of 2003, my son, a corporal in the United States Marine corps, was facing roadside bombs and random bullets in Afghanistan. I was proud of John's service, and terrified. What our political leaders said about "supporting our troops" didn't comfort me. In one crucial respect, they and I had nothing in common. Almost none of their children were in harm's way

SPOKESMAN: Yesterday, December 7, 1941...

FRANK SCHAEFFER: At one time, many of our leaders were also military parents. Jon Meacham notes in his recent book, "Franklin and Winston," that Eleanor Roosevelt wrote, "I think my husband would have been very much upset if the boys had not wanted to go into the war immediately, but he did not have to worry very much because they either were already in before the war began, or they went in immediately."

Roosevelt's most influential advisor, Harry Hopkins, also had children who volunteered. His youngest son, Stephen, was killed in the Pacific. Many members of Congress had sons or daughters serving. Some were wounded, and others killed. A lot has changed since our political elites were encouraging, even expected, their children to volunteer.

According to an article by Tom Ford in the "Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune" wherein he cited two experts on trends in military service, only 30 percent of the 535 members of congress have a military background. This number is down from 1969 when more than two-thirds had served. And only six representatives and one senator are known to have children serving.

I never served in the military, and I was dismayed when my son volunteered. And I don't mean to single out individuals, but several examples illustrate a serious dilemma: When it comes to service, our ruling class no longer puts its money where its mouth is.

President Bush refers to the U.S. Military as our finest young men and women; his daughters did not volunteer. As First Lady, Senator Hilary Clinton often said that she looked to Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt as role models. But there is no evidence Senator Clinton is "very much upset" by the fact that her service-age daughter did not volunteer to fight in the war that Senator Clinton voted for and Senator Kerry's children did not volunteer. Yet the fact that he did not inspire his children to serve is not seen as a disqualification for his seeking the office of commander- and, in these days of the all-volunteer military, recruiter-in-chief.

Leaders on the right talk about the need to project American power. Where is their practical patriotism? Where are their children? Leaders on the left talk about fairness to working people. Where is their practical solidarity with the working people defending them? Where are their children?

In Pericles' funeral oration, he says, "for a man's counsel cannot have equal weight or worth when he alone has no children to risk in the general danger." To me, this summarizes a serious moral problem: The unfairness of being led by a class that only sends the sons and daughters of others to defend us.

Eleanor wrote of her wartime farewell to her sons, "I imagine every mother felt as I did when I said good-bye. Life had to go on, and you had to do what was required of you, but something inside of you died." I wish we were still led by women and men who could honestly identify with "every mother" and father who has experienced the heart-stopping mix of pride and sorrow attending a farewell to a son or daughter who has volunteered to defend us. If we were, this country would be fairer. If we were, our leader's words about war and peace would have weight.

Happy Father's Day to Frank and all other faithful fathers who wait, watch, and worry along with all Marine Corps Moms. It's not easy for either parent; moms may express their feelings more easily but dads love their children just as much.

Posted by Deb at 11:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 10, 2004

Family Day with the 6th ESB

Last Sunday, Janise, Connie, and I spent the day hanging out with a few good Marines during Family Day for the 6th Engineer Support Battalion, 4th FSSG at Swan Island in Portland. We enjoyed lunch, connected with Marines and their families, and visited with dedicated volunteers from various support groups (Key Volunteers, Marine Corps Auxiliary, etc.) The Marines work hard and they also play hard – this day was a chance to unwind and share a bit of their lives with family and friends. We had a wonderful day and are appreciative of the hospitality shown by the 6th ESB. Here are a few pictures and Janice’s summary of the day’s events.

The 6th ESB stands in formation as colors are presented during Family Day.
	Hungry Marines and their families line up for BBQ hamburgers and hotdogs. There was plenty of food and it was all good.
LCpl David Martin and his younger brother Mark.
	Many Marines are dog lovers and English bulldogs top the list of favorite breeds. The character traits of strength, perseverance, and tenacity are common to both Marines and their four-legged friends.
Connie and Deb selling sweatshirts and t-shirts as a fundraiser for troop support activities.
	A Young Marine playing with her baby sister.
Janise with her son, Lance Cpl. David Martin.

Opening of Family Day with the 6th Engineer Support Battalion, 4th FSSG at Swan Island, June 6, 2004 began at 10 am sharp, with a "Family Formation" The colors were posted and the new Presidential Unit Citation colors, awarded to this unit in support of the 1st Marine Unit, were added to the Unit Flag. The 6th ESB was recognized for providing instrumental support for the success of the 1st Marines for operations between March 13 and April 22, 2003 during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Captain Renaldi asked the Marines to remember their contributions they made in freeing a country from 30 years of tyranny as they wear the Unit Citation Ribbons on their uniforms.

During the opening ceremony, awards were presented to 4 Marines for their outstanding contributions during Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

The families of fallen Marines from our local Portland/Washington area were recognized. These Marines and their families will never be forgotten - they are "our family". As the Sgt. Major read the names, there was a moment of silence.

* Captain Aaron Contreras, died March 30, 2003 in a helicopter crash in Iraq
* L Cpl Cedric Bruns, died May 9, 2003 in a vehicle collision in Kuwait.
* Cpl Travis Bradach-Nall, died July 2, 2003 from a land mine explosion in Iraq.
* Sgt. Curtis Jones, died April 4, 2004 of leukemia in Oregon
* L Cpl Bob Roberts, died May 17, 2004 due to hostile fire in Iraq.

Before the unit command was turned over again to squad leaders, we were told that this unit stood just as thousands of others did this very day in 1944, doing the very thing they have been trained to do. He was referring to defending freedom on foreign soil,. Today marked the anniversary of D-day, when France was liberated from Nazi Germany, and over 1,000 US Marines lay down their lives. The opening remarks expressed sentiments and similarities in what was needed to keep freedom, and the highly skilled and trained men and women who carry out that duty. On Monday, nine US Marines from the 6th ESB left for Iraq to join others already redeployed from the unit to continue this quest. We wish them well and God's Blessings!

Posted by Deb at 10:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 05, 2004

Memorial Day by a Marine Corps Mom

Janise, another Marine Corps Mom, attended the Memorial Day service at Willamette National Cemetary last week. Here are her thoughts.

I began this Memorial Day by putting the finishing touches on cleaning my "Veteran's" apartment. Then I headed to the cemetary for a Memorial Day Service. I have been to the Willamette National Cemetary 3 times in the last year and I still have trouble getting there. I think most of my trouble comes from not paying attention to how I get there, mostly because I always find myself lost in thought about why I am going there. Today was not any different, I found myself thinking about my dad,a WWII Army veteran, my sons, my family and how very lucky I am. I was invited today by Debbie Bruns, Cedric's mom,to today's service. We decided to meet around 9 am. I had flowers for Cedric's grave. I parked where Debbie suggested and then walked and walked looking for Cedric's grave, #126 in section C or D near Mt Hood Dr. All around were little flags waving from the grassy grave sites of those military we were here to honor. As I walked I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated that there were so many graves that seemed to prevent me from finding Cedric's, It hit me as I read name after name how many tears must have fallen and still fall for these men and women. Willamette National Cemetary is one of 120 such in the United States, the rolling grassy hills are covered with memorials, flags, flowers and tears. Today was the 54th Annual Memorial Day Observance. I abandoned my search until after the ceremony, I needed help, I needed to find "my family". I found Peter, Debbie and Nick just before the ceremony began and we sat together. I met Lynn Bradach and Katie Bradach, Cpl Travis' Mom and Aunt for the first time. There were two Fly Overs by the Air National Guard 142nd Fighter Wing out of Eugene, Portland PD Bagpipers, keynote speaker, guest speaker, dignitaries, etc. As I sat and listened, I thought about my dad and wondered if he and others were looking down at us, the gathered mass, and what their thoughts and words might be. It was a very nice ceremony but I much more appreciated and enjoyed the company of the families I was there to honor. Seated on my left was Nick Bruns, Cedric's brother, whose arm I held and on my right was a lady I had never met. During the ceremony, when the bagpipers were playing Amazing Grace, she and I looked at one another, I took her hand and she held mine. After the song,she thanked me for being there and told me her husband was killed during the Korean War and her name was Judy. After the ceremony, we talked and I asked her what her husband's name and what branch of service he was in. She told me his name was Jack and he was US Army and also fought also during WWII. Judy told me he had gone into the service in 1944 when he was 16, just like my dad! I took this as a sign that my dad wanted me to know he was still watching out for me! After the ceremony, I got to visit with Bobbie Jones, Sgt Curtis Jones' wife, and his mom Claudia and Dad Jack. It was so very nice to talk with her. Bobbie is expecting their son Devon in October. We had a good laugh about some of Curtis' character traits. Sgt Curtis Jones was my son David's Sgt from the 6th ESB, 4th FSG. Of all of the deaths, perhaps his was the closest since he was one of David's mentors. When he was diagnosed with leukemia just before they shipped off to Iraq, David shared his sense of great sadness knowing he would not join all of them in the sandbox. He was unsure at the time if they would see each other again. Sgt Jones waited to get married until his unit returned, his wedding was a mere two weeks after they all got back last year from Irag. He wanted to celebrate the happiest day of his life with his "men". His death, like all of the others was sudden and unexpected.

	Sgt. Curtis Jones died earlier this year from leukemia.
Family of Sgt. Curtis Jones, 6th ESB. Wife Bobbi is due to have baby Devon in October of this year. His mom is Claudia and his dad is Jack.

I also got to visit with Katie Bradach, Cpl Travis Bradach-Nall's aunt and his mom Lynn.

We visited the graves of four USMarines, the first Marine that was killed was L Cpl Seth Jones who was killed in a helicopter crash in the year 2000. His mother Michelle was not there, but Debbie met her last year and puts flowers on his memorial all the time.

The next was LCpl Cedric Bruns. He was killed just before Mother's Day last year in Iraq.

Lance Cpl. Cedric Bruns, 22, of Vancouver, Wash., was a Prairie High School graduate who arrived in Kuwait in January 2003 for his first tour of duty overseas. Bruns was a combat engineer in a unit trained to do "anything from demolition to building," said Gunnery Sgt. Rick Nelson.
	LCpl Bruns died May 9, 2003 in Kuwait, when the pickup truck he was driving collided with a logistics support vehicle, similar to a flatbed truck..
Cedric's family: parents Peter and Debbie, brother Nick and Cousin Kelly with husband Mike and daughter Amanda. .

Cpl Travis Bradach-Nall was killed in July last year just as most of his unit was returning home to Portland.

	Cpl. Travis J. Bradach-Nall, 21, of Portland, Ore., was remembered as a dedicated Marine who volunteered to stay in Iraq for an extra three months because there was more work to be done.
Cpl. Bradach-Nall was killed during a mine-clearing operation July 2, 2003, near the south-central city of Karbala.
	Family of Cpl. Travis Bradach-Nall include mom Lynn (front left), Aunt Katie and family

The last memorial was that of Sgt Curtis Jones; he was a Persian Gulf War Veteran who died this past April of Leukemia.

All of the memorials need care, all of the families need support. I keep thinking about those men and women still serving, As Chaplain Horace Duke said, "I pray God will Bless America, bring them home safely, help us help those who need our support."

Posted by Deb at 09:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 04, 2004

Marines at Normandy

So, where were the Marines on D-Day? Check out this post from Eric at Straight White Guy.

Marines were present in the planning of Operation Overlord… most notably, General Harold D. Campbell, USMC…. he was an advisor to the British Staff of Combined Operations… he was awarded the Legion of Merit for his help in planning the amphibious assault…. Marines had been landing troops by sea in some of the bloodiest battles on the Pacific… so, their grim expertise was put to good use…

… one of the Men that I had a chance to read about in my quest for ETO Marines, was Col. Peter J. Ortiz, USMC… he wasn’t at Normandy…. but, he was one of 51 US Marines who served with the OSS in Europe… seriously… follow this link, and read the whole page… he was one impressive Legionnaire AND US Marine… and, this article tells of various USMC exploits in the ETO... including D-day.... hearing of USMC sharpshooters during the invasion.... climbing onto the highest poing of their ships, and exploding surface mines with well-aimed rifle fire... well, that just harks back to the Birth of the Corps.. quadrafoil and all... but, back to my point…

Read the rest.

Posted by Deb at 07:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 25, 2004

A note from a 3rd Battalion 7th Marine Regiment Marine wife

The following request is made on behalf of the 3/7 Marines and their families:

When you find yourself playing a new role in your life, the family member of a marine or soldier, things change. You watch the headlines daily, pray like never before, and try to make a connection to your son or daughter overseas.

Such as it was for the moms, wives and girlfriends of the marines of 3/7. One by one, these women became connected and have created an email relationship that offers support and information of their loved ones. On this Memorial Day, at 11:00CST, these families will be lighting a candle to show their love and support of their marines and to honor and pay tribute to their fallen comrades.

What makes this special is that the Marines of 3/7 will be observing a moment of silence at the same time, 8:00 p.m. in Iraq, when they reflect upon their families back home and their friends who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for their country.

The families of these Marines ask that you please join us in supporting not only the 3/7, but all of our service men and women, and light a candle on Memorial Day. Your show of support is appreciated by our military and their families far more than you could know.

Pacific - 9am
Mountain - 10am
Central - 11am
Eastern - 12pm

Posted by Deb at 12:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 24, 2004

I'll Fly Away

Martha, a Marine Corps mom from Tennessee represented Marine Corps parents everywhere at the funeral last week for LCpl Jeremiah Savage who was killed May 12 in the Al Anbar province of Iraq. Here is Martha's narrative of this final goodbye to another fallen hero.

Yesterday was one of those "scattered shower" days. It fit our emotions, because by the end of the day 4 Marine Mothers and a Marine Dad would experience the dark clouds, the rain and the warm sunshine. Donna, CJ, Linda, Mike and I drove 2 hours and 100 years from Nashville to a tiny town in east Tennessee to pay our respects to LCpl Jeremiah Savage. This beloved Marine lost his life while handing out school supplies and candy to the Iraqi children just 12 days ago.

Livingston, Tennessee is Amaricana at its best. A perfect town square with an old courthouse in the center. American flags all around. On many signs around town were words honoring LCpl Jeremiah Savage. Livingston is the kind of place where we could just ask anyone where the funeral was, and get directions.

We were too late for the official honor escort where all of the official cars in the county drove through town, with lights and sirens going. Everyone in town came out and stood with their hands on their hearts or saluted. This was their boy. I got to see that on the 10:00 news.

The church sits on the top of a hill surrounded by tall, full trees. The small church was full of stained glass, old pews and love. We had arrived early for the service, so we had time to watch the slide show of Jeremiah's life. Baby pictures, Halloween, sports....just an American boy growing up with his brother and sisters in a home where his sweet mother loved them all. I found Jeremiah's mother and gave her the stack of notes from all of you. She was very appreciative and thanked me over and over. We hugged twice- the kind of hug that is shared by Marine mothers, the kind that really doesn't need words. I told her we would keep in touch.

As usual at these kinds of services, there was a diverse group of folks. The fire and rescue squad was there, the sherriff's department. There were several American Indians there and I found them to possess a particular air of dignity. Overall, in the tiny church there was a "Glorious lack of sophistication" right up to the moment the United States Marines entered the building.

During the service, we sang "I'll Fly Away" because it was Jeremiah's favorite hymn. We also sang the National Anthem and The Marine Corp Hymn...my first time to hear all the words since boot camp graduation. Most of the Marine parents couldn't make it all the way through the last verse. The minister spoke, Jeremiah's High School coach, and an outstanding young Marine Lt. He was perfect. At the end of the service, an old man played Amazing Grace on the bagpipes and we all followed the family and the Marines out to the front lawn of the church. The rain had stopped, and the late afternoon sun made everything glisten. The family and the rest of us stood in front of the church and Marines stretched down both sides of the hill. Seven of them executed a perfect 21 gun salute. As we silently listened to Taps, the old Indian woman looked up and pointed to a huge, single bird that was flying back and forth over the crowd. She smiled and was clearly saying a prayer. It is a moment that will never leave me.

As the service was over, we all headed straight for the Marines, and I am happy to tell you that we got fabulous hugs from each and every one. And of course I told each and every one to call his mama. Many of the towns people were in line to thank them for their service to our country.

LCpl Jeremiah Savage, son of the South, American Hero will be buried in Arlington Cemetery on Thursday, May 27th, 2004. He will take his rightful place among America's finest. But in my heart, I know that for the rest of my life, when I sing, "I'll Fly Away," I will remember Jeremiah Savage and the huge, magnificent bird who flew over us, and flew away on a special afternoon in Tennessee.

It was an honor to have been there.

With love and respect,
Martha

Martha, thank you for representing the rest of us. Connie and I recently attended the Coos Bay funeral for LCpl Gary van Leuven who was killed in Husaybah on April 17. He was a 3/7 Marine, as is Connie's son Bill. We took notes of condolence from all over the United States to give to LCpl van Leuven's mother, and we hope to visit with her soon.

On Wednesday, we will attend the funeral of LCpl Bob Roberts. Again, we will take notes of condolence from all who wish to send them. And, we hope this will be the last funeral we will attend for these fallen heroes.

Posted by Deb at 09:32 AM | Comments (2)

May 08, 2004

Mother's Day for a Marine Corps Mom

This article has been removed at the request of the Marine whose mother wrote it. It was a great article and an eloquent explanation of what happens to a mother's heart when her son is at war. Thanks, Nancy, for sharing it with us for this week.

Posted by Deb at 09:03 AM

April 27, 2004

A Mother's View

Here is an e-mail from Becky, future Mom of LCPL Travis of the 3/7 Marine:

Dear friends,

I hope you don?t mind affording me the opportunity to share what?s been on my heart all morning. I have had the privilege of getting a glimpse into the lives of our young Marines serving in Iraq and elsewhere throughout the world through their letters, emails and calls to their loved ones. The average age of these young men is 19; some are as young as 17. Many will celebrate their birthdays for the second time in Iraq.

They have seen more death than most of us will see in a lifetime. They have watched many ?brothers? die, but have had little time to grieve. They must remain focused and are expected to perform their job amidst hatred, taunts, and jeers on a daily basis. Many have left home for the first time ever. Some have left young wives, some pregnant with their first child Many have received the news of a birth or news of a pregnancy while in Iraq. At times, they may go close to 2 weeks or sometimes even longer before they are able to get a shower. Their patrols can last anywhere from 36 to 40 hours without sleep, and then, when they finally do get to sleep, it is only for a few hours and sometimes in foxholes made of sand.

When they do get mail, they all sit around and watch each other open their packages to see what each one has received and they share freely. They compare it to opening birthday or Christmas presents. When I was mailing my packages this morning, the postal worker struck up a conversation with me regarding the troops overseas. He had formerly been in the Army and was telling me just how special these packages are to the guys over there and went on to say ?you would not believe how many guys receive no mail at all!? That just breaks my heart to think about it!

There are many, many mothers at home missing their babies. I hear these mothers talk of calling their son?s cell phone just to hear his voice on his voice mail? wearing their son?s shirt around the house because it smells like him? not being able to reach through the phone line to wrap them in their arms when they tell their mothers they have just lost their best friend? and then having to hear this country berate them for being there, doing their job. It makes me weep! I know that these Marines often feel that they have been forgotten and are unappreciated by us, with the exception of their proud family and a few friends. They believe in what they are doing. They have chosen to serve this country, to fight for our freedom and many will never come home again alive. I have such high respect and regard for each and every one of them. My heart breaks when each one falls.

I know my eyes have been opened. Why have I written this? I?m not really sure except to say, please remember? in some way, each day? remember them for their great sacrifice. They are all, every one of them, TRUE HEROS

Posted by Deb at 07:04 AM