The pain we mothers have when giving them birth, is tiny...compared to losing them. Scientists say if you changed 1 thing in the universe, chaos would happen. The same thing happens if you lose 1 person. Someone, somewhere, lives are changed 4 ever! 7 years and it still feels like yesterday. The "missing you" lingers on abundantly!

Happy "30" Ben! Oh the fun you would have had this Christmas Eve! I can hear the jokes you would have made in regard to the big 30.

Yet I can see the little boy look that would have been on your face. The gee I really don't want to be this number, I want to be 10 again.

We would have shared many of these fun numbers together. I thought of you all day when I turned 50 this year. As the years go on and I settle for the memories I miss you more then ever.

Love Mom

This year I would like to share my favorite Christmas story with all
of you. I would also like to thank each and every one of you for
being there for me. It helps just knowing you are out there.

My husband and I raised four sons. Their ages today range from 24 to 35. We tried to teach them early on that gift giving was not about the price but ever so much the thought.

Many hours were spent in their younger years creating construction paper greeting cards and homemade gifts. Smiles pass my lips when I reflect on the closed doors in our house...A child yelling "Mom, Dad, Don't come in yet!" Oh, the excitement I heard in their voices. The love I felt, from their young souls. The spirited twinkle in their eyes when their creation was presented. Our house was adorned with many of these gifts. Pencil, crayon, and painted drawings were framed and hung. Clay sculptures and pots, cute pillows and such, an art gallery it was to me. Stick reindeers, beaded ornaments, and a very special red paper Santa dressed our tree. A tin can Pilgrim was a sight to see. I have in my possession to this day boxes of these priceless treasures.

Of all the heartfelt moments experiencing their love of giving, one is forever branded in my mind...

The year was 1990, as was tradition in our home we exchanged our personal gifts to each other on Christmas Eve. Santa would provide the Christmas morn. Our second to the oldest son Ben was 16. He was short on cash this year. When it came his turn to pass out gifts he rose and said, "I want all of you to stand and form a line oldest to youngest." He then proceeded down the line. Each of
us were hugged and told, "Merry Christmas I love you." His sad eyes misted with the wish of his heart. Though not having a gift to hand us he chose, "The Thought That Counted." Ben had chosen, the gift of love.

With tears streaming down my checks I remember looking at my precious son and saying, "That is the best Christmas present anyone could ever receive."

Ben was born on Christmas Eve 12-24-74
A blessed gift to his family

LCPL Benjamin H. Gearheart died 8-27-97

A gift to his country (in a military training accident)

Happy Birthday Ben

Ben's last Christmas was spent deployed to Kuwait in 1996. He mailed this letter to us that year:

A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM BEN 1996

Mom & Dad,

I got my boxes yesterday and I really don't know how to start this letter. I do believe, no matter where I am, no matter the situation, and no matter what you had to do to get it done, you would make me feel loved. I think that I was the only one in my plattoon to get a box for Christmas. Words cannot describe how it felt to have everbody watchen as I opened rapped gifts sent from back home. But then again, I should not have been surprised, cause you have been doing the same thing for 22 years now.

People have asked me before what I was Most proud of. I tell them that I am most proud of my Mother and father. The way both of you had put Both of your lives to the side to raise four boys. Now that I am older I can see it alot better. What Both of you had put yourselves through just to make sure that we all had good clothes to put on our backs. All the up's and down's we had as a family, all the up's and down's that you two had as parents. They were always overcome, by two people who would work two jobs, work late in a sewing room. By two people who would give anything it took to put a smile on their Boy's face. Mom, you told me one time that you didn't know how I had went to day & night school and worked full time. Well even if you don't know it or not, things were learned that were not necessarly taught.

I've never really said it before, and I don't know why. Everynight when I say my prayers ( When I remember to pray) I allways thank God for giving me such great parents. What Im trying to say is "Thank You" Thank you so much for always being there and always giving what you didn't have. It was all noticed.

I love you more then anything in the world.

Ben

I want to thank all of you for remembering with me. Please know that I am so incredibly proud of your sons and daughters that are serving our country and that I keep all of them in my prayers. To the families who have had to endure "The Ultimate Sacrifice" Please know that my soul weeps with you and that you are most profoundly in my heart and prayers.